Early December

December 3, 2011
I was asked today by someone on MDJunction:

Tell me all about Green Bay please- would love to hear about it.

Flag football- that has intrigued me?! What is that?

So I replied:

Green Bay is awesome! After I'm done college, I plan on moving out there. It's remote, but it has the hustle and bustle of Lambeau Field (the home of the Green Bay Packers football). Lambeau Field is amazingly huge -- it has three levels and the stadium has room for 2 million people, I want to say. Regardless, it's full on game day. There are many wildlife sanctuaries, the one I went to last August was so pretty and serene. It was 100 acres (I'd say at least) of land with ponds, rivers and many trees and plants. The animals are allowed to run free there and they look so happy there. Also, there are many historical places -- Wisconsin is full of history. The city just leaves me speechless and brings me to tears of joy. I will send you some picture albums. :)


Although I wrote about my trip for my book (came in yesterday!) I am just overwhelmed with joy when people ask me to describe the town. It just makes me so happy and leaves me speechless or not so much speechless, but there are many emotions I cannot put my words to. However, I did remember this experience that I forgot to write about for my book:

Is this bus going to Ash-www-
Ashwaubenon (wau is pronounced as wow). Yes, yes it is.
Now whenever I think about going back to the hotel to swim and meet the different truckers and guests, I cannot help but think about going to Bay Beach Wildlife Reserve and meeting the other buses at the junctions, I will never forget how to pronounce Ashwaubenon.


I tried singing today while playing the organ. It is hard to play and sing at the same time. I felt a little self conscious because I do sound awful, but it sort of felt good to sing Christmas songs as I played along. Of course, it is going to take more practice and I am not a performance major, so this is just fun for me. I want to write my own songs for organ and guitar, it is just trying to figure out how to write the music to go along with lyrics.


December 3, 2011
6:00 am
Sometimes I feel like the royal pain in the ass. I sent Steve a text message last night stating… “so… Friday…” he replied he had work. I meant during the day (like noon) and I know he doesn’t work then. I simply replied, “Oh, I meant around noon. Friends and I are going into town for Christmas pictures and if you don’t have work it would mean the world to me if you would come along. If you do have work, that’s okay.” I hope I don’t sound clingy. Sometimes I wonder if I do have a borderline personality. Sometimes I fear it because in high school I was called the clingy psycho. I guess I still internalize that and when I think I am coming on too strongly, I pull back. Maybe that’s why people are so confused about me. When I get a new therapist, I have to talk to him or her about this.

I want this holiday to be special. West Chester has beautiful Christmas decorations hanging up this year and I want to get pictures with my friends underneath the pine garland and in front of the Christmas tree that is outside the courthouse. It’s a few of my friends’ last year (I would have been graduating this year if it wasn’t for a major change and my interest in learning foreign languages) that I want to spend as much time with them as possible. I love to scrapbook, so I like the memories. I am a photography freak… I take pictures of everything. Case in point:



Anyway, like I said, I want this holiday to be special even though money is tight. I want to spend time with the people I love; take pictures and gift people the memories and love in the pictures. Maybe that is crazy, but I am learning not to care.



December 4, 2011
6:59 am

Curse being up early again. Ever since being put on Abilify and the increase of thyroid medication, I’ve been getting up early and crashing around 10pm. I need to talk to my psychiatrist and PCP because I hope there’s nothing seriously wrong with me. However, I will admit, I love watching the sun rise with all the pinks and oranges that replace the dusky black, navies, and purples. I love the colour differentials too. I always loved sunrises and sunsets.

Dews of slumber, glitters,
Pixie dust, why must you litter—
The remnants evade me,
Why? Why? Can’t you see,
My eyes, so bloodshot and dry,
No longer my eyes tear and cry.
Yet, beautiful pixie, I must be
Grateful, for I can finally see;
The oranges and pinks
That replaces darkness, just think
Of what I missed all the years
From dews of slumber, many tears,
For you I am thankful, no longer black,
The sun has replaced it all, back
I can no longer go
Dusk and navies no longer show.

I am 22 years old and I consider myself an old soul—I can relate better to middle aged people and well, most of my friends are a lot older (don't get me wrong, I have friends my age as well—age doesn't matter when it comes to friendship). I'm an only child, so I guess this makes sense in a way. Anyway, mom and I have often butted heads on this issue (she doesn't like it). Last night my family and I were at a show for a local rock band; while she was in a happy drunk mood, she was saying she told dad's coworker, "I have a 22 year old daughter and never in my wildest dreams I would have thought she'd be at a classic rock cover band show dancing with middle aged women." The coworker just shrugged and said, "Everything is relative. Nothing is wrong with that and she's having a great time." It's true, I was having such a great time and like when I was in Green Bay, it made me happy. So, everything is relative, it doesn't matter what it is as long as it's in the legal and healthy bounds that you're having fun and it is making you happy. For me, my friends mean a lot to me and I was grateful I had people to rock out with. : )

Scattertrain was so awesome. I can honestly say they are better than Old School, although I still love Old School. I never thought a saxophone could be so popular in rock songs, or at least the lead’s saxophone playing really made the songs more vibrant and stand out more. It’s not very often that I say I like saxophone playing, but last night I did. The band exuded energy and the intensity from when the keyboardist/guitarist sang and joined the people dancing on the floor, I couldn’t help but to jump and shake higher than what I am doing. The dancers and Annie push and pull me are the centrifugal force that push me and leave me breathless. In that intensity with the instruments reverberating in my ears and the pulsation against my body and at the core of my being, I am awarded five beaded necklaces for being so energetic. :)

8:57pm

Sometimes my love for football gives me heart palpitations. I feel bad for bothering Aubrey (like three months ago) about it looking dismal for the Packers—they won by a field goal—thank God and Go Pack Go! 12-0! Tomorrow when I’m not exhausted and aching from last night, I will write a special cheer to go on the shirt I am making. :)



December 17, 2011

Old School Rocks the Ribby/ Old School الصخور Ribby
Since I am on break for a month, each Saturday I'm going to try to post about my day in Arabic to keep up with it. So, here it is. :)









شربت ابتسامة الأسنان الأسود. وكان التعبير على وجهه إدي تقدر بثمن عندما كان يشرب فيه. هناك دائما شيء أحب عن رؤية المدرسة
القديمة. كان لدينا حفلة عيد الميلاد هزاز. كان الكثير من المرح، وكان لي ليلة عظيمة.

A rock-n-roll Christmas! Good times, good times! Although their official Christmas party is next week, since I can't go this was my official Old School Christmas party. :) AND I tried my first Black Tooth Grin last night! And never again. It was strong, but I did toast to Dimebag when Eddie was singing, "Let's make a toast to those among us" (from "Nothin' But a Good Time") and then I imbibed it myself when the other members drank their shots and beer. Eddie had a bit of my drink in one of the sets after that. The expression on Eddie's face was classic and priceless when he drank it. There is always something I love about seeing Old School. Someone even brought his parrot! It was a great night!





Lincoln Room... 3 years later
Susan, the other waitress and I were talking yesterday after coming in for tea to celebrate the completion of the semester (and Arabic final). In April it will be three years since I first started going there and becoming a frequent patron of this wonderful place. Every morning the 92 bus passes by and one day I said to this kindly lady (she still rides the bus as well), "Have you ever been to the Lincoln Room? We pass it every morning and it looks interesting." "No, I haven't. But, it's a tea room." I knew I had to check it out. So, I made the reservations and the rest was history. :) Over the years Susan and the Lincoln Room women have been nothing but nice and have made three new wonderful friends.