She Doesnt But Do You ?

you txted me out of the blue.

i was hurt and also confused.

i took a while to respond bcus i was wondering wat was on ur mind.

den uu told me that uu loved me nd how much uu wer sorry for leaving me alone.

i said i wish uu understood nd knew wat happend while uu wer gone.

while uu wer away.

i was beaten, hurt, abused nd raped !

why would uu leave me ?

how could uu show me, so much hate ?

uu are my mother.

wer suppose to be there for each other.

uu left me with my nana bcus u thought that was best.

but did uu know that she hurt me more than the rest ?

she is family nd she beat me all the time, untill i could no longer cry.

she said it was bcus the life i lived was a lie.

it took me along time too understand what that ment.

but after time passed of me thinking, i think i finally got a hint.

i think it means, that ill never be nothing bcus all my life i thought i was truely something

i think it means, i have no reason to live, i spent time thinkinng but i dnt think der is.

i never wanted to be on this earth.

everyone here treats me like dirt.

treats me like im nothing, treats me like i dnt deserve life.

but even with all this happening, something still keeps me from picking up that knife.

keeps me from cutting my wrist nd or cutting my neck.

i cnt keep doin this to myself bcus i feel a wreck.

this is to much to handle for a fifteen year old girl.

why do i have to feel alone in this cold horrible world ?

does anybody care ?

can anybody see?

am i really alone?

does everthing happen for a reason to me ?