Vandread: JDFR

"Women are monsters, and men once their playthings, as they ate our fore-father's innards and sucked them dry of life."

  Man why am I having to listen to this? This is too boring. I just want to cut down on some female ships but nooo, I have to watch this first.

"Over the centuries they have plundered our cities, they have cruelly oppressed our people with forced labor, and that unspeakable horror is about to strike our empire once again. This is the shape of our most bloodthirsty enemy, this is the symbol of our sacrifice, even those fourtunate enough to survive are scarred horribly after their encounters with women, but the time has finally come to erase the memories of those unbearable years of humiliation and degradation". This was the end of the presentation.

"My comrades! My Brothers! We now go into battle to prove the man-hood of the glorious empire of Taarak! Our Great Fore-father Grandpa guided us here, but we will leave this holy land we have cultivated with our own hands in order to regain the pride of men! For today we have a new power in our hands that will change our very history!" Shouted the Prime Minister

"Damn I hate speeches! So long and drawn out. I'm going to have to leave at this point, can't take the wait," I said to whoever was listening

I drifted away from the crowd, and decided to check on the vangaurds that where being talked about so much. I put my hand on the sensor and the door opened and I went down to the second row and looked at the sixth down the row. I had designed it to look much different. I put alot of money into this Vanguard, and it wasn't going to fail me. I then heard a voice say:

"Huh? The doors already open? Well I'll have to sneak around even more now!"

With that, I jumped into my Vanguard and waited. Then about five minutes passes and I hear
"LAUNCH THE IKUZUCHI!"
"What the hell we were supposed to launch two hours from now!" I shouted

Then the room got brighter and the vanguards rotated to a cheering crowd.
"Isn't that a third class citizen? I also see someone sitting inside one of the Vanguards!"
The Prime Minister shouted! "What are you doing? Get those two!"

The thrid class citizen ran and climbed onto the statue kicking one of the men in the process then jumped off and was subdued, but me, I went calmly because that's the smart thing to do. They talked to me and we came to an agreement. They let me go and threw the third class citizen in the brig. I proceeded to rejoin the others when the women started attacking the ship.

"All hands to battle stations!" I took that as me to get to my Vangaurd.
"ATTENTION CADETS IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO RECLAIM YOUR HERRITAGE! NOW IT'S TIME TO DESTROY OUR ENEMY!"

I jumped in and launched my Vanguard, now flying in the cold vacuum of space already having to dodge shots. I just recited in my head: Many females will die by my blade
I started attacking a red looking ship. While doing so I hacked into their communications so I could be in on their plans:
"What are these things their getting in the way! shouted the red ship's pilot sounding annoyed
"Don't worry about the Vanguards just focus on the flagship." said the leader of the team.

Then there was a breach in the Ikuzuchi so I followed the ones that flew in. They landed so I landed and decided to fight on foot. One lost control and flew into the engine room so I followed on foot to take a prisoner. I started feeling a strong shaking as the ship's new section was separating from the old section. Now I was stuck if I couldn't make it back to the Vanguard. I hid while the women took the rest of the men as prisoner. Just then Duello McFile strapped on a coat and claimed to be a doctor. Wouldn't surprise me that guy's got some swing. I sneaked to the bridge and saw three looking at their find. From their communications from their mother ship, It seems the one in charge of this group is called Buzam. I then proceeded down to the engine room to find that lone woman when I saw her chasing that third class citizen around. I decided to get my Vanguard so I could return to Taraak but when I got to it, the women were looking all in it. I then heard them yelling about a torpedo targeting the ship. I ran as fast as I could to my Vanguard. I pushed the women aside and started him up. I started swaying and lost control, I flew into the engine room and crashed into the blue ship the women had. Just as the torpedo hit, A blue light erupted and I was flung into somekind of blue sub-space.

I had a vision that the women were using me for all kinds of tests. I didn't like it. When I awoke I saw the three women that were in the engine room rambling to themselves so I kept silent and waited for a perfect time to ambush them. The whole place was all crystalized, my Vanguard was covered. He also looked different. Had a black more smooth looking body than the standard Vanguard. Had a giant one-handed katana sword on it's hip, a belt with giant shuriken on it's chest and two cannon arms. I'll call him Shadowreaver I thought to myself just then I realized there were more females coming in. One was very elderly, I'm guessing she was in charge.

"I'm sorry that you had to come all the way here captain" said the Blue-haired squad leader
"I just wanted to see it for myself" The old lady said walking over to the passed out third class citizen "It's been a long time since I've seen a man are their faces really this funny looking?" She then turned and looked at where I was "You can quit hiding, you have been found"

The other women raised their weapons and pointed them at me while I raised my wakazashi, which is a one-handed katana for future reference, I then advanced slowly sheathing my weapon to show peace. They restrained my hands and threw me and the third class citizen into the brig, where they where already keeping Duello. After a while the citizen awoke and hit his head on the shelf above him.

"Aww man, looks like I'm stuck behind bars again, huh?" He said
"Looks like you're awake"
"Whose there?" He said
"My name is Duello McFile, do you have a name as well thrid class citizen?"
"Don't make fun of me. My name is Hibiki Tokai and I'm not just another third class citizen!" He said
"You're the one that made the commotion at the ceremony am I right, how'd you manage to sneak in anyway?" asked Duello
"There's been lots of talking but we need a plan" I said finally contributing to the conversation
"Who the hell are you! You where that guy that was hanging in the vanguard!" Shouted Hibiki
"My code name is Jay Dizzle Fur Rizzle, but you can call me Sgt. JDFR

Suddenly the robot Hibiki had started to power on and hands and feet sprung from it.
After a bit some of the women walked up
"WOMEN! What are you planning to do to me! What Am I doing here?" Shouted Hibiki
Buzam replied "try to calm down this is the safest place for you right now."
"Sure you say that but, You want to eat my guts!" said Hibiki
Buzam replied "Eat? You're? Guts?"
some girl in the back started laughing "He actually believes that?"
Buzam said "Before we have dinner there's something we need to discuss"

Their asses were huge and Hibiki was just staring at them. He felt one for some reason and the girl just slapped him right there. While waiting the blue-haired one brought in another man. This one was Bart, tried to sell me food pills before the attack. I just ignored him. Then the captain walked up
"My I heard you rounded up some prisoners but these are just kids"
"HEY, I am 22 years old JUST SO YOU KNOW" I told her kinda being a smart ass
"Well I'm 108 years old just so you know" she said sarcastically. I already think that I could get along with her.
Hibiki said "This is a men's ship isn't it?"
The captain replied "Yes but before that it was used for colinization, how clueless are you? This ship is part of a fleet that left the planet Earth years ago to colinize other planets. Now I'm back in this ship. In our business, we'll gladly take the ship, but what to do with you?"
Blue-hair spoke "I think we need to get rid of them things are crazy as is"
Captian replied" Let's not be hasty, we'll figure out lovely ways to cook them up" Hibiki's face turned white
"So the long-haired boy's a doctor what about the other two?" asked the captain
"Their attackers, they were both seen entering the Vanguards"
"There's Something approaching" said a woman on a screen
Buzam said "Is it male reinforcements?"
The red-haired girl shouted from the screen "It's UFOs.

Wonder what's up? I thought to myself

Blue-hair, blondie and red-hair headed up to where their "Dreads" were. Suddenly the wall busted through and one of the women was under the debris. Duello did what he did best. Bart started trying to suggest a cease-fire with the women. The Captain told Buzam, or B.C. to take me and Hibiki to our Vanguards.
"Looks like it's going to be a while before the ship stabalizes" said B.C.
"Well let's get these cuffs off of us so we can pilot the Vanguards" I said
"Well aren't we eager?" noted B.C.
"Hey I haven't said alot but I want to say something" said Hibiki
"Yeah well what is it?" asked B.C.
"I'm not actually a pilot of a Vanguard, I was just suckered into stealing one of the Vanguards" explained Hibiki
I decided to take the wheel "Do you want to die? We are supposed to be a proud people, but you're just a little bitch! Are you just going to curl into a fetal position while people around you are struggling to stay alive?"
He replied "But I don't know what to do I'm just a third class citizen!"
I said "Third class citizen or not, this is your time to show what you're made of. I'm giving you a chance to get in that Vanguard, but if you don't do it, when I get back you will be humiliated then killed in a humiliating manner. What kind of finale is that?"
"OK I'll fight, but you have to watch my back" He finally agreed
"Don't worry, I don't care how lame you are, I got your back" I assured him

We jumped into our Vanguards and took off into the fray. Me I'm used to fighting in this this but Hibiki was really bad at flying the Vanguard. There were like five weird borg-like things on him so I blasted them off, then Hibiki started geting used to the controls and started slicing them up, so I left him be. He started heading to the big round ship. I saw some on him and I tried to blast them off but then red-hair hit into them and there was a flash of light. Looks like he's been destroyed I thought to myself then I saw something crazy. It looked like Hibiki's Vanguard but more blue and it was much bigger, and had blaster looking things on it's back. It flew in and tore the round ship open and pointed both blasters into it and blasted it apart.

Later the women started shooting us with a high-pressure blast of water. I really didn't seem to mind but Duello looked embarassed and Hibiki and Bart couldn't stand the cold I guess. After we were washed we were talking
This is Bart "It was so unnerving, my comrades were falling one by one and before long I was the only one left, and the one thought on my mind was how I was close to death, but I perservered because I knew it was a soldier's duty to live on and take back the ship from the women, and fate has now given me three allies! What do you say?"
"So Hibiki what happened? How did you combine with the female fighter?" I asked
"How the hell should I know?" He snapped
"Boy don't you snap at me or I'll flick your nose like it ain't ever been flicked before"
"What's your problem you're acting like your Prime Minister?" asked Hibiki
"He's worried so he's trying to keep us under control" Said Duello
"Hm, looks like someone knows what he's doing" I said

Buzam walks in,
"Hey Boss wants to see you"
"I'd be happy if it's of a social nature" said Bart kinda startled at her appearance

A few hours later, Hibiki is out cold mumbling in his sleep, about robots, and grandpa, etc. and when he woke up Duello was checking his temp. I guess Hibiki took it the wrong way and pushed him off.
"So who's Grandpa?" I asked trying to start conversation
"He's just Grandpa okay?" Said Hibiki
"Oookay hotshot simmer down a bit. Just trying to know my brother in binds better"
"Whatever JD just shut up" He said
"Ok then" I said letting it slide
Then Buzam walked up
"We need you to go and find two crew members we left"
"Why should we help you?" said Hibiki
"You fool this could get us free roam of the ship!" I scolded where Buzam couldn't hear. "We need to do it because they're weaker than us and need our help" I explained
"Ok you talked me into it JD" he said

Me an Hibiki where flying for a good while when suddenlly Hibiki was shot up. I then saw that it was Dita. Hibiki didn't
"Hey you! Is that how you thank someone who came all the way out to get you!" Shouted Hibiki
Dita shouted "It's the Alien!" and Hibiki stopped right in his tracks
"You came all this way just to save me didn't you? You really are a good alien!" She said again

I sat there and laughed because it was amusing then Dita collided with Hibiki to form what I shall call: a VanDread I then saw Gasconge about to be eaten or something so I took out my sword and started slicin' shit up. Then we get back to the ship and Hibiki and Dita HAD to make a big entrance and slice a giant ice rock that was going to hit the ship. I could have done it too you know.

"The Captain and I are done with our meeting and decided to inform the entire crew of our situation. upon anylizing the data from the enemy debris, I have gathered some inteligence on our enemy. I'd like you to all take a look at this image"
Then an image of a sphere covered in gears and smoke overtook the screen B.C. was talking through
"We are currently in this enemie's territory and they're attacking us because they see us as a threat and percieve our presence to be hostile. with this conclusion, we expect more battles with this enemy to occur on our trip back to Mejerian space, we learned something else, the enemy has set up a course of attack at both Mejerre and Taraak, the enemy is for some reason calling for the complete obliteration of our home worlds"
The Captain took over "As pirates our loyalties are not found with Mejerre or Taraak, however it certainly not in our best interests to allow an unknown force to destroy our potential customers, Therefore I intend to reach our home worlds before the enemy to inform them of the situation, in order to be successful we must incorperate the men we have taken prisoner into our crew"
"See Hibiki? I told ya we'd get free roam of the ship, just do what the old fart says" I said

And with my new ability of free roam of the ship, I decided to get a bite to eat. I saw blondie and some green-haired girl, I decided to start getting to know the people of my crew.
"Hello ladies. My name is Sgt. JDFR and what might your names be?"
"Well I'm Jura and this is Barnette" said blondie
"Hey don't step to close I still don't trust your kind" said Barnette
"Whoa whoa just cool it, I'm trying to know my crew mates, and crews are supposed to be able to work together am I correct?"
They walked off so I just continued eating. This food is way better than those pills I thought to myself Then the captain shouted
"All hands on deck!"

I ran to my Vanguard and decided to see if I could combine with any of the Dreads, but Hibiki had already launched and was generally messin' the bad guys up. Looks like he started getting cocky. He stepped out of his Vanguard and me, Blue-hair whose name is Meia, Jura and Dita were waiting for him.
"You must be here to thank me for taking care of things, am I right?" He asked
"Don't be concieted, you put yourself into alot of danger with that stunt you only act on my direct orders" replied Meia
"Hmph, how do you expect to defeat the enemy if you let a little danger bother you?" Hibiki asked "Well you don't need  to worry no more you got me to protect you"
"Small dogs always bark the loudest" Said Meia
"That may be true but that's better than not being able to bark at all" He replied
"Except it's not you barking right? It's just that machine! Right?" She asked
"Are you lookin' for trouble with me?" Hibiki asked
Dita looked torn, Jura was watching silently and I was thinking about how to break this up
"What's the matter, can't handle the truth?" shouted Meia
"Who died and made you king?" replied Hibiki
"You're our prisoner!" she said
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Didn't the captain say we were officially part of the crew?" I asked
"STAY OUT OF THIS!" They both shouted in unison

Since they weren't going to quit soon I walked off and started working on my Vanguard. I sharpened the blade on the sword and polished the inside of the blasters. After my work the captain shouted for us to get to battle stations so I hopped in and flew out. I saw Jura and decided to try and combine with her. In a flash of light Jura was in my lap, and the ship looked much different. The blasters had been totally removed, and my one-handed sword was now a giant two handed sword. The ship was now a dark metalic maroon color and looked kinda like my Vanguard did before but Bigger and the fore-arms had giant sheilds on them. At the "Head" was a mouth looking part that shot out huge beams of light. I liked my new VanDread. We rushed the weird ship that was infront of us and it shot out needles that deflected our blows.
"Meia we need to get Mr. Alien out here!" shouted Dita
"Where is he anyway?" I asked
"He was assigned to reg. a better place in my opinion" Meia replied
"I don't know I think we could use his and Dita's VanDread" I said
"VanDread? What the hell are you talking about?" asked Meia while she dodged a blow by the sea-urchin
"Nevermind I'll tell you later let's just attack the thing" I said

Gasconge came with supplies for the Dreads and while they were loading up me and Jura held the sea-urchin off when they were done, another package was released and Hibiki's Vanguard flew out. He couldn't handle the thing and when Dita tried to rush to combine, Meia tried to block off an attack by the sea-urchin but was too late as Dita flew out of the way and Meia and Hibiki collided. They formed a silver eagle looking VanDread and it's speed was unrivaled. It flew right past all of the needles the sea-urchin shot and sped right through the middle of the thing. It was stopped and was me and Jura's time to shine, I charged up a mouth shot and aimed straight at the hole Hibiki and Meia made. It exploded from there. We all landed back on the ship and Me and Hibiki walked back to the men's quarters.
"So you're back" said Duello
"What's with those Vanguards anyway?" asked Bart
Hibiki sat on his bed muttering to himself Bart took it as a que to give him some pills
"Come on these will cheer ya right up"
"Mr. Alien!" shouted Dita running into where we were standing and flicked the pill Bart had from his hand while plopping a small box into Hibiki's lap. She proceeded to open his mouth and shove the contents of the box into his mouth and after he swallowed he snatched the box and ate the rest of the stuff. Dita then proceeded to tell us that the ship was to be called the Nirvana, Not my choice of name but whatever. I walked off and went to the shooting range. Barnette was there shooting some targets and I decided to shoot some with her. She seemed agitated by my presence.
"So Barnette hows it been going?" I asked
"Good until you came in" She replied coldly
"Well what's with the hostility?" I asked
"I don't trust you" she said
"Well we could talk this out can't we?" I asked
"I guess we could if you have nothing better to do, let's get some lunch" she replied
Alright! Step one of my plan to befriend the women has been completed I thought as we walked. Just then B.C. sent out a message to the crew that we will begin simulations on the vanguards. Well I don't need any training so I went  to my "room" and took a nap. When I awoke I heard the alarm for us to get to the Vanguards so I took off. We all left the Nirvana and proceeded to land on the surface of the planet while Jura and Dita where arguing about combining with Hibiki's Vanguard. Guess mine wasn't good enough for her. But watching Hibiki navigate his Vanguard on land was pretty amusing. I started looking around. Then in the middle of Jura and Dita's fight Hibiki flew his Vanguard up and tripped a motion sensor. I was completely cut off from communications but I started chopping at the attacking... sand. Yeah really the sand started to move and attack the landing party. I then saw Meia land. She seemed in distress as the sand consumed her. I used my air slash and blew the sand off of her. Then I was face to face with two sand Vanguards. I cut a horizontal slice and it joined the rest of the sand again. Just then Hibiki sent a blast at some big container thing, and it gushed out cold air. It made the sand hard and brittle. Then I finally heard
"All units get out of there!" Guess my communications booted back in. Then everyone took off so I did too. Just when we exited the atmosphere the planet blew up! What the hell was going on I don't know but the bridge is going to have an earfull when I get back about communications I thought as I flew back onto the Nirvana.

I was asleep when the alarm started going. I jumped up and launched my Vanguard. Let's say that since Meia was out, Jura was the leader. She sucked.

We're in the middle of a battle but Jura's a horrible Dread Leader, but God knows I'd do horribly. I could try.
"Hey guys! I got an idea! Hibiki! Combine with Dita! Barnette let me hitch a ride on ya, your Dread is faster than my Vanguard, Get me to Jura! Everyone else, power up your sheilds and attack the ring leader if possible!"
Dita then combined with Hibiki and pursued one of the attackers but missed and almost hit an asteroid. Meanwhile Barnette dropped me off on Jura and we combined to form our VanDread. I destroyed two of the attackers but couldn't lock on to the others. I'm just glad that Jura shuts up and let's me work when we combine. Then while we loaded up and let reg. handle the Dreads, Hibiki came up with a plan. We waited until the main ship was in sight, when Hibiki gave the orders I was off. Hibiki's VanDread charged up a shot and let loose, reflecting the shot off of the Dread's sheilds and since I was just there I threw in some air slices to spice things up a bit. All I have to say is... Shit blew up. When we got back, I spent some time sharpening my blade, then to the garden place under the bridge. Ezra was sitting there rubbing her belly.
"Yo Ezra how's that thing in your belly?" I asked
"My baby? Oh it's fine. Thank you for asking" she replied
"Well I have to go" I said
I walked into the mess hall (I don't know what the women call it) and saw Meia walk in while everyone else was asleep in there for some reason. I walked up behind Meia and said
"You and Short-stuff are alot alike to be honest. Y'all are both prideful and stubborn, but you keep your emotions bottled up, while Hibiki lets his out of control even" I explained "Just wanted to say that, I'm going to bed, I ain't sleeping on a table like everyone else.

I awoke to Dita going through Short's room
"Dita, what are you doing?" I asked
"I was going to give Mr. Alien this but his room's a mess! You mind helping me clean it up a bit?"
when we were done cleaning Dita started sleeping in his bed but I decided that this would be a good show to watch so I left her there. Hibiki walked in and saw the damage. I especially think that the alien decorations that I suggested weren't his favorite.
"What the hell happened here? JD did you have something to do with this?!" He shouted
"Aw shucks, you really do know me don't ya short-stuff?"
"Oh Mr. Alien this is for you!" she shoved the pillow she made into his chest
Hibiki kicked her out with all of the decorations in one beautiful fluid sweep. It was a sight to see.
I took a nap for a bit until we got together to talk about the Dread formations
I waited for a bit when Shorty walked in.
"Where's Dita?" asked Jura
"How should I know? What am I her babysitter?" Hibiki asked in a pissy manner.
"Sure sounds like a lover's quarrel to me" said Gascogne
"Oh Gascoe, you so crazy. Men and women having that kind of relationship? That's just ludacris"
Then Dita walked in. She seemed depressed "Sorry I'm late" she went and sat down
Meia started the meeting "Alright everyone's here now, I will be explaining about the simulation that we will be running today, we will be using a special formation when Dita combines her fighter with-"
"Forget it" said Dita "Forget that because I won't be combining with him anymore"
What the fuck's going on here? I thought while everyone else gasped
"Aha I get it, you're starting to get bored with Mr. Alien haven't you?" asked Jura
"No I just realized that Mr. Alien isn't happy with me, so from now on, you can combine with him Jura" Dita replied
"Dita!" shouted Meia "I will not tolerate the mixing of private matters in this room, this is not a game we're playing"
"I-I'm Sorry Meia" she apologized
I think I should combine with her sometime to make her feel better. But it could make her feel worse. What to do in this situation?
Well it was time to eat so I walked in and sat next to Shorts
"Yo Shorts, how are ya hangin' right now, you know with what's been goin' down?" I asked
"I don't care, I don't need to combine with her anyway!" he said
"I wasn't talking about that but still. We should get ready for bed."
We walked off and were about to go to bed when that little robot Pyorro or what ever came up and started talking to Shorty.
"You're lonely aren't you?" He said
Shorts answered"You little-"
"You're lonely because Dita isn't coming to see you anymore" He replied
"Look here you little so-and-so, I can't stand people like her, I hate them, I'm much happier without her buggin' me" He yelled
I was shocked, not because of what he said, but Dita walked in just in time to hear the negative remarks. She ran out crying. I ran over and kicked Pyorro because this was all his fault but then said
"Damn Hibiki you've done it now, that was too harsh!" I kicked him in from behind his knees and ran to see if I could find Barnette. She's the only woman on this ship I actually talk to and I'm starting to get past her mean exterior.

"Yo Barnette what's your view on the whole Hibiki/Dita thing?" I asked
"I really don't know how to think of it. All Dita is trying to do is make him happy, you know?" She answered
"Yeah you have a point there but she could lighten up a bit on him" I said trying to defend Short Stuff some
"Yeah, but what would you know about a woman's feelings? You're a man"
"I've come to realize on this trip that men and women aren't so different at all. We both feel sorrow, anger, joy, and fear. When it comes down to it, a man can understand a woman perfectly" I explained
"I don't know what to say to that JD" she said losing this battle
"Yeah, but you can call me by my first name you know" I said
"I don't think saying Jay Dizzle would roll off the tounge" She said
"Oh no, my real name is Jeremy Johnston, but don't tell the rest, it's funny seeing them try to say my full codename" I said
"Oh, you trust me with that information?" She asked
"Well yeah, you're pretty much the only person on this ship other than Shorts that I talk to" I said
Barnette asked "Yeah well I have to go now, so I'll talk later ok?"
"That sounds like a plan" I replied

I went and took a quick nap because there was nothing else to do, and about 3 minutes in, I heard B.C. call the Dread team to attack, so that basically ment me as well. I jumped in my Vanguard and took off, Meia realized that Jura wasn't out there. Well she decided to make a formation with Dita and Hibiki and me, and Hibiki started talking with Dita.
"Dita, don't do anything you usually don't do alright?" Shorts said kinda awkwardly
"Alright Mr. Alien!" Dita shouted
I went into private chat with Meia
"Hey Meia things are back to normal now huh?" I asked
She didn't reply, she just smiled. That was a good sign right there.

I woke up and B.C told me to get ready for a mission on foot. We landed and Me and Barnette were walking through the place.
"So much stuff that would be useful, I wonder where the food is?" She asked
then we heard a commotion so we headed towards it and Shorty was being held hostage with everyone holding their weapons at the attacker. I pulled out my sword and held it at his throat. He released Shorts
"So you're some kind of gang?" He asked
"We're pirates" said Meia
"Even that little lady over there?" he said pointing at Shorts
"I'm a guy buster!" Shouted Hibiki
the guy started laughing out loud
"Sorry but you are easy to mistake for a girl, you're just so damn cute!" he said.
To Be Continued