Fuck..

Once turned to twice
And twice turned to normal
Now I search for what I hope is me,
Pray is me.

Am I headed in the right direction?
Hoping I can attract what I’ve never had before.
What am I, even?
Wanting something I’ve never felt.

Will I find my fire?
My crimson and clover?
My dream?
My mate?

Am I dressed the part?
Does it matter?
How can I know what is right,
And what’s wrong?

Can I take the stares?
Of course, millions have before me.
But will it be worth it?
Will I find what I’m looking for?

The what if’s are haunting me,
Taunting me.
Saying, you won’t get what you want.
You don’t know how.

How to act,
To dress,
To look,
To be.

To finally just be me.