A Bunch Of Limericks

DEAR SIGMUND

“I think that I’m going insane,”
said Freud in a voice of great pain.
“No Jung for me, please,
I feel weak at the knees
and a terrible itch in my brain.

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY

It’s a pity the money’s all spent.
I don’t really know where it went.
The party was great,
we could all celebrate
and hope there’s some left for the rent.

HAREM SCARUM

Said the sultan, “I think that I’ll wait
for the presence of wife number eight.”
“Too bad,” said another,
I’ll sleep with his brother,
and not give a damn for my fate.”

FAMILIES

“It’s too bad,” pouted little Irene,
“that my brother and sister are mean.
I’ll go and tell Dad
about all of the bad
things they do they don’t know that I’ve seen.”


THE KINGDOM OF ID (1)

In the kingdom of Id there’s great strife.
Corruption is rampant and rife.
Now the king is a fink,
but it’s not what you think.
He’s trying to find a rich wife.

THE KINGDOM OF ID (2)

The Wiz was in terrible trouble.
His cauldron would not boil or bubble.
And the hair of a hog
With the spit of a frog.
Could reduce the whole castle to rubble.

YOUNG LOVE

“There’s no cure for love-sickness, I fear.
You’re better without him, my dear.
Let him go, let him run
then have some more fun
With the next guy who blows in your ear.”

CEREMONY

There’s a site on the island of Crete
with a temple that’s almost complete.
Where a priest and a nun
have all sorts of fun
With rites that are strange but effete.