HELP! Need critique please. First story.

(please ignore the names, i haven't picked any out yet)

    The day was warm and beautiful; one of those days where just being alive is enough. The sun was blanketed behind a sheath of soft clouds, making the breeze a little cooler than usual. A storm was on its way. Tidus looked up at the sky, a very Tidus-like grin spreading rapidly across his face. He loved storms. He watched the wheat waving carelessly across the field he was standing in, miles and miles of wheat. Standing still for a time, he finally saw what he had been patiently waiting for. Movement in the distance caught his attention, his grin spreading into a full smile as the small figure of a young woman came into his view. He began walking towards her, trying his best to hide his excitement. It was obviously too much anticipation for her to walk. She began sprinting through the wheat, letting her hands skim the top of it as she made her way swiftly towards him. She began to laugh, unable to hold her own composure; and threw herself into his opened arms as she reached him.
He laughed then too, shaking his head at her and lifted her off the ground in his arms. She buried her face in his shoulder then, her arms wrapped almost too tightly around his neck. “I missed you,” she whispered to him. He continued to smile, holding her for a long time in the air. “I missed you too.” He finally let her down, pulling her back from him to get a better look at her. Her short brown hair was awry now, but there was no mistaking that smile; this was his Yuna.  Her perfectly round angelic face was unmistakable to him. She smiled at him, taking his face in her hands. She pulled him to her gently; locking her lips onto his. His posture softened as he leaned into it, pressing his lips down on hers more firmly. She pulled away from the kiss, taking his large hand in hers, her fragile fingers barely able to get a grip on him. She began to pull him through the wheat. “Come on, I have something amazing to show you.” He obliged, allowing her to lead him carelessly, deeper into the field towards some nearby woods.
        The wind picked up then, and the wheat began to shake back and forth mercilessly, warning them of the approaching storm. “Yuna, maybe we should wait this storm out first.” She laughed, looking back at him playfully. “Come on! Where’s your sense of adventure?!” He smiled again at her care free attitude. That was one of his favorite features about her. He chuckled, continuing onward with her into the woods. The trees were thick, but the ground was mostly clear, green grass beginning to work its way through the dense ground that was shadowed by large spruce trees above. They worked their way through the randomly placed trees, avoiding briars and other fallen branches on their way in. “Yuna, what’s this about?” he asked her lightly. Her face broke into another smile with excitement as she looked back at him, almost getting lost in his light blue eyes. “You’ll see. It’s perfect,” she pulled him harder as suddenly they were standing in a space with no trees. Tidus looked around in amazement. A carousel stood before them, standing slightly crooked and out of place in the thick forest around them. It’s age was showing proudly, most of the carousel horses and other creatures paint had long since faded and cracked with the weather. Vines had begun working their way up the platform and around the poles. Wind swept and dirty, the dull carousel seemed very out of place. Tidus continued to observe it, slightly speechless. Definitely not was he was expecting. Yuna watched his face closely, her expression lighting up as she watched his reaction. “It’s amazing isn’t it?”
         She walked over and stood next to a tripod that she had set up herself in the clearing. Her nice camera sat perched on it, ready to capture the next shot. Tidus walked forward, placing his hand on one of the rough wooden poles. “Why is this here?” he asked. She shrugged in return. “There’s a house in the distance that way,” she pointed in another direction through the woods. “It’s really old and abandoned. I’m assuming it belonged to the people that lived there.” Tidus shook his head again but in concern this time. “Yuna, you should be careful wondering out to places like this by yourself. You never know what you could run into.” She shook off his comment, proceeding to snap a few more shots with an unsuspecting Tidus as her focus. “I was tipped off by a friend that it was here, she just thought I could make a really good shoot out of it.” Tidus continued to observe the old and creaky carousel in amazement, ignoring her clicking camera. “Someone must have gone through a lot of trouble to get this here.” He sat on the platform, staring up at one of the wild looking horses that lined it. Yuna walked up to him carefully, standing between his legs and running her hand through his blond hair. Her hazel eyes looked into his blue ones with intensity as she kissed him on the cheek again. “You believe in my photography career right?” He smiled at her, trying to assure her that he did. He nodded, pulling her close again. He rested his head on her stomach as she wrapped her hands around his shoulders. Rain began to lightly fall through the forest canopy that lingered above them. “Great,” was all Tidus said, his face breaking into another grin of his. “You won’t melt I promise!” Yuna answered him. “Now I, on the other hand, might be another story.” She used his shoulder to lift herself onto the carousel platform hiding under its wooden tent top from the rain. She pulled on his shirt lightly, encouraging him to join her. “Come on, we’ll wait it out!” He turned to her, using the pole to boost himself onto the carousel.
As he put his weight on the platform, almost immediately his foot fell easily through the rotten wood. He reached out for some kind of support as this took him by surprise, while Yuna reacted by trying to grab him by the arm to catch him. He now had one foot trapped in the hole he had just made through the carousel and the other on solid ground. Yuna began to laugh uncontrollably, doubling over with the effort. “Hey, it’s not that funny,” Tidus said grumpily as he tried to pull his foot out. Yuna stood back up straight, wiping tears from her face. “I’m sorry…” she said still giggling. She began helping him to work his leg out. “Are you okay???”

                      “Are you okay???” the voice sounded funny now. It was far away and almost an echo in his head. Speaking of his head….The throbbing he was feeling coursing through it was now very real and completely unbearable. ‘Had he fallen and hit it on the carousel?’ He didn’t remember doing anything like that. He could feel his body lying flat now, warm pavement pressed hard against his face. He felt the pain begin to come in waves now, sending an odd sensation down his spine. Suddenly, he was afraid. There was no carousel. There were no woods or wheat field. There nothing but a ringing in his ears and everything else around seemed dead silent from the impact. He could feel a warm sensation on the back of his head spreading as a small trail of blood began to run freely down the side of his face. He felt the beating of his own heart as it began to quickly gain speed more and more as his consciousness began to come back. Adrenaline began coursing through his veins like a poison, spreading downward through his entire body. ‘What had happened?’ he asked himself a million times in his own mind hoping that maybe he would come to some kind of conclusion. His mind was still lost in the woods, with Yuna, a hundred miles away. Smoke suddenly crossed his face and he began to choke. He felt the heat from a nearby fire beginning to build. Then all at once the sounds around him smashed and pressed in on his ears. A hundred noises all at the same time. “ARE YOU OKAY!?” a woman above him called down to him, but he was not in the right mind set to answer her. Although, he wanted to. The sound of the now roaring fire made his mind panic even more. Where was Yuna? He could hear other voices talking, but farther off. “Did you call 911?” A male voice answered the question, “No, but the girl in the other car did and said they were on the way.” He could feel soft hair brushing against his shoulder as the woman above him began to try to roll him over. “Don’t,” the man said to her. “Don’t move him. You could hurt him worse if he’s got a head injury. Just wait for the ambulance.” She quit pushing on Tidus now, and instead placed a warm hand on his shoulder. “You are going to be fine, okay? We are getting help.”  Suddenly he formulate a plan in his mind as his thoughts began to put themselves in the correct order. First, he had to get up.
    He moved his fingers, even though they felt numb and funny. He grunted with the effort of placing his arms underneath himself as he began pushing himself up. “HEY, he’s getting up, what should I do?” the woman beside him asked. He could see the man, just a few feet away, now coming into focus shrug in response to her. Tidus sat up on his knees, feeling all the blood rushing downwards through his legs. ‘How long had he laid there?’ The man took a few steps in Tidus’s direction. “If you can hear me, you’re pretty bad hurt. It would be smart to just sit down there and take a rest until the ambulance gets here,” Tidus could hear the Southern accent from the man’s deep voice and decided he could hardly take it seriously anyway. He began to stand, swaying back and forth a little from the effort. His stomach did flips and instantly he became nauseated. He felt the woman’s hands take hold of his waist, trying to help hold him upright. He watched the Southern man shake his head, which had a cowboy hat on it. “Alright then do it your way. Keep moving around and we’ll all time how long it takes you to bleed to death.” Another feeling began running its way through Tidus…anger. “What the hell do you know anyway?” he asked the stranger. The cowboy just chuckled. “Well I’d say we’ve already got a high enough body count around here without you adding to it.” Tidus’s heart suddenly fell out of his chest. Another emotion he knew well…panic. He looked for his car desperately. He didn’t like what met his eyes. What was left of his car was now upside down on the road, going up rapidly in flames. His head pounded as he ran to the car, hysterically trying to see through the flames for any sign of Yuna. Out of the corner of his eye Tidus saw the cowboy turn to the woman and watched as they exchanged a funny look between the both of them. Tidus whirled around on them. “WHAT HAPPENED? WHERE IS YUNA?” He walked up to the man boldly grabbing him by the front of the shirt. “TELL ME WHERE SHE’S AT.” The man held up his hands, pulling back away from Tidus. “Take it easy…”was all he answered. Tidus cornered the woman now. “WHAT DO YOU KNOW?” she looked at the ground, avoiding his eyes. Slowly, seconds seeming like years to Tidus, she carefully lifted her hand, pointing in another direction, toward the ground. Yuna laid there, her eyes wide open with the look of death passing over her face. Now was the time. Tidus's face twisted with agony. He made his way over to her, kneeling down on the hot pavement beside her, blood surrounded her tiny frame. She hardly looked like Yuna. "It's going to be fine." He tried to say over the commotion all around but his words were drowned out by the sound of another lady on her phone. She smiled trying to tell him she understood what was happening and that she wanted to comfort him and tell him how much she loved him. She mouthed the words but could utter no sound. "I love you. You are so brave." Her face was pale with death. His blood began to pour down his face and drip onto hers. She acted as if she didn’t notice. She just smiled that smile...Tidus lifter her head trying to force himself to do something, anything. He had to hurry and help Yuna because she was running out of time. He had no sense of his surroundings, only the tiny body that was giving up underneath him. He moved her hair out of her face with his free hand as Yuna's emotions began to dwindle and she closed her eyes. "NO" Tidus screamed. "NO YOU CANT. YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME.....please. I need you." He began to cry and cursed himself for it. A smiled passed her lips again. "The fire is so warm isn’t it?" Her words faded as she began to slip. "Yuna...Yuna...." Tidus shook her, held her face, anything he could do. "YUNA. PLEASE GOD SOMEONE HELP ME!!!" He sobbed into her chest as her breathing slowed and then stopped completely and the beautiful life he had come to know was snatched away from him. He sat there, holding her lifeless body to his chest, willing himself to die. This is a nightmare he told himself. This can’t be real because this kind of thing doesn’t happen to people. This is too horrible. He placed her body on the pavement and laid down beside her to die. He wanted to go back to the carousel with her.