Sibling Rivalry

The classic wedding march began to play. My hands shaking as I tried to hold back tears.
“Are you ready Olivia?”
“Yes… wait! Where is Amy?”
“I don’t think she is coming….”
I wanted so badly for my sister to be there, to be a part of my wedding. Unlike most little girls I never really dreamed about my wedding, but there was one thing I always knew. Amy was going to be there, and she would be the one keeping the rest of my family under control while helping me get to the alter.
We were only a year apart in age, and we spent a lot of time together. We shared a room until I was 14 years old. I had finally convinced my mother to let me move into the guest bedroom on the first floor. Before I moved into my own room we would stay up late at night giggling and dreaming about the future, but even for all the time we spent together we were almost complete opposites. Amy has thin blonde hair and a light complexion, whereas I have thick curly brown hair and a darker complexion. I was always the quiet one and Amy was the rebellious cheerleader. I preferred sitting at home reading or writing and she would rather go out shopping and going on dates. There was a short time where our differences drove us apart but as we grew up and faced bigger problems than which hobby was more fun reading or dancing we became close again. It was just in time for me to leave for college, and that was when our relationship would change forever. Standing at the church waiting to march down the aisle there was nothing I wanted more than to see Amy there ready to take my hand and support me.
I thought back to that day when everything changed. I thought about how I could have prevented it, and how I could have chosen another way. I did not have to hurt her like I did. I should have just let it be and left. I remembered the day it all began.
I had just come home from school for Thanksgiving break; it was the first time I had been home since I left back in August. I was glad to be back and glad to see my family. We were a close family we all shared our problems and we all worked to help each other. Not having them around was a big change for me, and it was even harder not being there to help them through their problems. My brother was going to start High School when I left and Amy was starting her senior year. There was so much going on in my family that I could not be around for, so when I came back for Thanksgiving break it was my chance to jump in and help out where ever I could. My parents opened up my Grandmother’s old store in hopes of making a little extra money to help pay for both mine and Amy’s college tuition for next year. Unfortunately the store was closed for so long it required a lot of work to get up and running again. I had come back just in time to help out, and my mother even offered to pay me so I could earn a little extra cash for when I went back to school. I knew she couldn’t really afford to pay me much but I was grateful anyway.

I was in the backroom organizing boxes and taking an inventory of what still needed to be unpacked when I heard the front door open and my sister’s voice. I knew my Mother was up front so I did not rush up there. I finished writing my list then grabbed a few of the boxes my Mother still need to unpack and started to carry them up front. It probably wasn’t the brightest idea for me to try and bring so many boxes up. I could barely carry one box no less carry four. That was when I could hear my Mother and sister talking.
“Where is my Sissy?”
“Olivia is in the back, but Amy you need to calm down! Ha Christian are you sure you want to admit to being her boyfriend?”
I came around the corner to see my sister jumping up and down giggling as she wrapped her arms around the man next to her. I stopped as I tried to recognize the man, he was tall and fit with short black hair that he wore slicked back. He looked down at Amy and smirked at her as she looked up into his dark blue eyes. I heard him say to my mother, “Oh Amy is great! She has been talking about her sister coming home all week and today when I picked her up after school she insisted we come here before going to get some lunch so I could met her Olivia.”
“Mom don’t you think Olivia and Christian would get along? I think she will like you Christian, well I mean not that its matters if she likes you but still it would be so cool if she did. Then you could introduce her to some of your friends… Oh! Like Kyle! Then we could all double date!”
I stopped and stayed standing behind a display case. I felt awkward interrupting their conversation. The boxes were getting heavier and part of me wanted just to turn around and bring them back, but then I knew they might see me if I tried to move. I tried to shift the weight of the boxes from one arm to another without making much noise. I listened as Amy continued to talk to my Mother and her boyfriend.
“Amy I doubt Olivia will want to go anywhere with you acting so silly and immature.”
“Oh come on mom! Olivia is so boring she does nothing but go to school and work. She hasn’t even ever been in a real relationship and now she is in college. I mean come on! She needs a life!”
“Hey back off your sister. She does have a life and I remember a time not too long ago when you didn’t have a boyfriend and you did nothing but lay around.”
I could feel my cheeks growing red as my sister continued. I was so embarrassed; I even remember thinking, “Why did she just say that in front of him!” I knew I did not need to try an impress him because it really did not matter what he thought. But she had just announced my personal life in the middle of a store where anyone could have walked in and heard her. I was also upset that she could be so rude and insult me by saying I needed a life. My mother was right; Amy had gone through a phase of laziness. She went to school then came home and slept the only time she went out was when her friends invited her to go someplace. At least I could say I wasn’t lazy.
I shook my head at my sister’s comments and decided I couldn’t stand there anymore. The boxes had gotten really heavy my legs were about ready to give out. I slowly took a few steps forward and I felt my legs shake underneath me. I tried to steady myself but I couldn’t, Amy yelled “Look out Olivia!” I heard all the boxes tumble to the floor and shut my eyes prepared to smack against the wood floor as well. I opened my eyes confused, there was no thud or pound I wasn’t sore. I looked up and saw a pair of dark blue eyes looking down at me. “Are you ok?” I heard him whisper as I felt his arms unwrap themselves from my waist and back. I nodded and thanked him as I stood back up. If I wasn’t already embarrassed before I certainly was now. I practically threw the boxes onto Christian and Amy when I fell.
“Wow Olivia could you be any more of a klutz?” Amy said with a teasing smirk.
“Are you sure you are ok?”
“Christian, she trips all the time Olivia is like the biggest klutz I have ever met. Anyway Olivia this is Christian. Christian this is Olivia. Now that you have practically killed him with your boxes he probably won’t want you to come, but we were going to invite you to come to lunch with us….”
“Amy stop…. I still want to invite you Olivia.”
“Geezzz Christian I was teasing her.”
Amy took a step away from Christian’s side and looked down at the floor. I knew she was only teasing me so I did not take offense to any of it, even though I did feel bad for making such a mess.
“Oh it is ok, Amy is right I am such a klutz and I wouldn’t blame you for not inviting a weirdo like me.” I smirked trying to let Christian know it was fine, and Amy had done nothing wrong. I appreciated him standing up for me though. I did not know him for more than five minutes and he was already trying to help me. Amy looked up at me and smiled as she wrapped her arm through Christian’s. Seeing them standing next to each other I was really surprised at how different they seemed, and how unlike most of the guys Amy was attracted to Christian seemed really polite and gentile. Amy had always been attracted to the bad boys and the kind of guys that have tattoos up and down their arms. Christian however was completely different. He was wearing a light blue polo shirt and tan slacks. He did not seem to have any tattoos or piercing. It made me wonder what Amy liked so much about him.
He was obviously a few years older than her and well he was defiantly fit but still I wondered what they would have had in common or how they even met. Amy normally would call me and tell me any news or gossip but I had no idea she had a boyfriend until I heard my mom call him that when they first came in the store.
“So? Are you coming Olivia?”
“Uh… Thanks Amy but I think I should stay here. I should probably help clean up this mess I just made and there is still a lot of work that needs to get done in the backroom.”
“Are you kidding? You really gonna blow us off so you can work? Ugh see Mom this is what I mean.”
Amy and Christian left the store and I began to clean up the boxes. Thankfully my Mother did not say anything to me about not going with Amy. I knew she agreed with Amy and I knew she worried about me and my social life, but between school and work I just did not have the time to be out every night. I was much more content staying home and listening to music or writing. It was my Thanksgiving break and I wanted to spend it relaxing, not stressing out over what to wear or trying to meet guys.
For the rest of the afternoon I sat in the backroom taking inventory and cleaning up. I kept thinking about Amy and Christian. I was just surprised that Amy did not mention him to me sooner. Amy normally would have started bragging and jumping up and down screaming it, the moment he asked her out. When I went back to the front of the store I asked my Mother how Amy met Christian. She said she was not exactly sure but she met him at a party. My Mother laughed when she saw my reaction.
“I know I know Olivia, you thinking how could I let her date some guy she met at a party and how do I know he is a good guy?”
“Well… I mean you know how Amy is. She would date an Axe Murder if it meant she would have a boyfriend.”
“Yes I know she would, but Christian is a really nice guy. They have been dating since September. He really looks out for Amy. I have not seen him put her in any kind of dangerous situations. You should ask her about how they met at the party, all I know is it was her friend Kelly’s party and Christian knows Kelly’s brother.”
“Oh…”
“Why are you asking anyway?’
“Oh no reason I was just curious. Christian doesn’t really seem like the kind of guy Amy would want to date.”
“Yeah I know. It is good though, this way he is keeping her out of trouble and away from the losers she was dating.”
“Mom, do you know much about him?”
“Who, Christian? A little, he lives with his parents and he has two younger sisters. I think they are twins. I know he is twenty and studying at the community college and planning on transferring but that is about all I know. Why?”
“I was just wondering. I am surprised Amy didn’t tell me about him sooner.”
Later that night I went upstairs to Amy’s room to apologize for everything that happened earlier and I was hoping she would tell me more about Christian and how the two of them met. If they really did meet at a party I was shocked my Mother was so comfortable with him dating my sister. As I walked up to the door I could hear Amy’s music playing from her computer, she was listening to one of her favorite songs. I slowly cracked the door open and saw that she was painting her nails again for the second time today. I opened the door all the way and said hello. She looked up and smiled at me then ran over to her bed and said, “Olivia look at this awesome dress I just bought! I am so excited to wear it! I think I am going to wear it on Friday for the festival. Christian is taking me, we are gonna have so much fun! I think he is going to buy me a bracelet or something, ya know like from one of those little booths that are set up.”
It was just like Amy to have her outfits picked out three days in advance. The dress was an off the shoulder red minni dress. She also had a pair of silver strappy heals to wear with it. Amy was always much more into fashion than I was, so she always knew exactly what to wear and when to wear it. She would come into my room and ask to clean out my closet all the time. Apparently jeans and tank tops or t shirts were not the newest fashions. Amy sat back down and began painting her nails again. I walked into the room and looked around, remembering all the different games we would play in there when we were little.
“So Olivia I really think you should come to lunch with me and Christian. I was telling Mom earlier that maybe Christian could introduce…”
“No!”
“No? You did not even let me finish.”
“Amy I know what you were going to say. I heard you talking to Mom earlier, and I will not be set up on dates. Especially not by my younger sister.”
“Oh come on Olivia! Please? You don’t even know Christian he is really great and so are his friends. I mean you never know you could meet Mr. Right.”
I was not going to argue with her about it. There was no point, I was perfectly fine on my own and I did not need a boyfriend. I was not about to let my younger sister tell me that I was a loser who needed help meeting people. As Amy tried to convince me what a great idea double dating was I realized that it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. I was going to school thousands of miles away, and would practically never get to see the guy anyway. I explained all of this to Amy and it managed to keep her quiet, but I knew eventually she would bring it up again. I sat down on her bed and started fiddling with one of the stuffed animals that was tossed to the corner of her bed.
“Amy, how did you meet Christian anyway?” I decided that just coming right out and asking her was the simplest way to find anything out. She turned around and smiled, then came and sat down on the bed next to me.
“Do you really want to know? It is kind of a long story and hard to explain. I went to a party at Kelly’s and saw him there, and well of course you know I thought he was gorgeous! I mean we never said two words to each other, but you know me. So anyway there was a bunch of drama going down between Kelly, Marie and me. Kelly and Marie were getting totally wasted and started saying shit about me and making problems. I got pissed and wanted to leave but I had no way home and Mom and Dad weren’t around to come pick me up. So I went outside and sat out there, I figured at least I could get away from them. But by that time everyone was talking about me and saying shit. I tried not to but I started to cry, and I ran to the corner of the street. Christian apparently saw and heard everything so he came after me. He says he was worried something might have happened to me. He sat on the corner with me and just started talking to me. He was so funny he had me laughing again in minutes. After a bit he offered to drive me home.”
“You let him drive you home!”
“Well I mean it was not like I had many options. I know I know he was a stranger and I could have gotten in more trouble but obviously I was fine. He dropped me off and asked if we could hang sometime. I was so excited I mean hello a hot and rich guy wants to chill with me! I gave him my number and went in the house. He called me like 30 seconds later and asked if I was ok. We talked for the rest of the night. He called me every night after that until I finally asked him not too so I could get some sleep.”
“Oh wow… That was really sweet. How did you know he was rich though?”
“Well isn’t it obvious? He walks around in polo shirts and is always clean. He is super polite and doesn’t have tattoos or piercings.”
“Amy that doesn’t mean he is automatically rich.”
“Whatever Olivia.”
I was really happy to hear that Christian was really a good guy. Amy can be a bit immature at times and it ends up getting her into trouble, she has even lost some really good friends because of it. Being with a guy who is apparently rich and treats her really was exactly what Amy needed.
As I came back to reality I heard the wedding bells chime. I knew I could not wait any longer, Amy was not coming and I had no one to blame but myself. My Father took my hand and wrapped it around his arm.
“This is it Olivia. There is no backing out now.”
He looked at me half hoping I would back out, but that was not what I wanted. I was ready to get married. Getting married was all I could think about anymore it was the one thing I would do anything for. I even chose getting married over my sister. At large wooden doors opened as I tried to make myself smile before I took my first step.
I dusted the shelves in the shop as I listened to my Mother rant and rave to my Father about money. They argued all the time anymore, and it was always about money. It seemed like no matter how hard they tried or how many jobs my Father had we still never had enough money. There were still several bills going unpaid and barely enough money to buy food. My parents were very good actors though. Infront of other people they seemed happy and normal but as soon as they were alone it was obvious my Parents were the farthest thing from happy. Everyone in my family was stressed and taking it out on each other, and since my Father showed up at the store it got worse. I moved to dust a shelf closer to them to hear exactly what they were arguing about this time.
“James listen to me! We can’t afford this, I know but what am I supposed to do? Tell Amy she can’t buy a dress for the fair? Tell Olivia she can’t go back to school because we cannot afford the tuition? I don’t know what else to do anymore.”
“I know I know Carly. It is not like I planned to get this letter, it is not like I am asking them to do this. I can’t stop it. I am working as much as I can but it isn’t enough.”
“Well then we have to figure out something. I am not taking these things away from our kids they are suffering enough as it is, and once they find out the bank is threating to foreclose the house they will be even more worried.”
I almost knocked the items off the shelf I was dusting because I was listening so carefully to my Parents conversation. I could not believe what I just heard. I knew things were bad and money was tight but I had no idea we were in danger of losing our house. I had no idea how they were going to try and fix this problem. I continued to listen to their conversation and ended up tripping over a pile of empty boxes. It would have been no big deal but I managed to pull down two shelves of glass ornaments as I feel. Both of my parents spun around to see me laying on the ground next to a large pile of shattered glass and broken shelves. I watched as the expression on my Mother’s face changed from worried to anger. Her face began to turn red and her voice cracked as she began to speak. With each word she said her voice grew louder and louder.
Her hands were flying through the air as she yelled at me for eavesdropping and trashing several pieces of inventory. I just lay on the floor as she yelled and screamed. I knew she was not really mad at me, and she knew it was an accident but she just got done saying to my father there was no way they could make enough money to pay all the bills. Then I went and ruined several items that could have been sold to help make money for the family. My father interrupted my Mother’s yelling and asked her to calm down. He tried to explain that it was just an accident and that she did not need to be screaming at me.
Unfortunately this just angered my Mother more. She became angry at my Father for standing up for me, and for making her look like a bad mother because she yelled at me. The entire situation had been completely blown out of proportion because of all of the stress both my Parents were under. My little klutz moment was the cherry to top the ice cream Sunday of drama that was surrounding my family.
With both my Parents screaming and cursing at each other I was ready to cry, I felt horrible for making things worse. I stood up and ran outside to the back of the shop. When I caught my breath I just sat on the stoop and cried. I was crying because my arm was in pain from the cuts I had just given myself, I was crying because I caused my parents to get in yet another argument, and I was crying because there was a very large chance I might have lost my home. Since I went away for school drama in my family had just continued to build. The money problems grew, while my parents grew farther and farther apart. My entire would seemed to be slowly spinning out of control.
I stood up and ran outside, I didn’t want to hear them fight anymore. I did not want to be a part of the drama anymore. I just wanted to come home and enjoy my Thanksgiving break. I wished I was six years old again, I wished I could go back to the time in my life when things were simple, and I did not have to listen to the fighting. I wished I could go back to the time when my biggest problem was whether or not I was going to dress my dolls in green or pink. As I walked around to the side of the building I wiped the tears from my eyes.
Problems with money, my family, my social life, and school all seemed to be too much at that time. As I slowly made my way to the alter I knew that those problems were nothing compared to what I was about to face. At least during that time my family was shaken up, but we still had each other. We all still were working to find a way to solve the problems we faced. I scanned the faces of the people standing in the pews. I was secretly hoping to see Amy’s face appear.
I couldn’t stop the tears from falling as images flooded my mind. The images of everything that led to the moment when I lost my sister, I tried to hold back the tears as I got closer to the alter. I wanted to be crying tears of joy not tears of regret. I was split into two, I was so happy to be marrying the man I loved and who loved me, but I desperately wished I was getting married under different circumstances.
I sat against the side of the building and buried my face in my arms. I took a deep breath and tried to just relax. Being alone gave me the chance to clear my head. I pulled my knees to my chest and just sat curled up.
“Liv? Is that you? Are you ok?”
At first I wasn’t even aware anyone was there. My Mother hated when people called me Liv. She would always say, “Her name is Olivia! I named her Olivia not Liv!” Most of my friends got used to it and only called me Olivia. Slowly I raised my head to see Christian squatting down next to me.
“Liv? What is wrong? Can I help you?”
“No..” I managed to say as I cleared my throat.
“What is wrong? Liv.. I am going to see Amy, should I bring her here?”
“No! Stop!” I practically jumped to my feet as I yelled at Christian. I knew he was only trying to help, but the last thing I wanted was to get Amy involved in all of this drama. It was obvious my parents did not want to announce to my sister and brother that we could possibly lose our house.
“Liv…”
“Stop calling me that.”
“What?”
“My name is Olivia.”
“Oh.. I am sorry. Olivia what is wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Um sorry to be the one to point this out but you are sitting on the ground crying.”
“I am not crying.”
Christian laughed as he whipped the smeared make up off my cheek. He sat down on the ground next to me and leaned up against the building. I waited for him to say something, anything or even ask me what was wrong again. But he didn’t, instead he just sat there in silence next to me. He picked up a stick that was lying on the ground in between us, he tried to balance the stick on his finger. The stick swayed and wobbled while she swiftly moved his finger back and forth. After about 30 seconds of moving his finger around the stick stayed perfectly balanced on the tip of his finger. I began to giggle as I saw the look of concentration on Christian’s face. He was biting his tongue as it stuck out from the side of his mouth, and his eyes were barely open so they looked like thin little slits.
“What?” Christian said as he turned towards me to see me giggling. Then he realized what I was laughing at and he also began to laugh. Christian put the stick back down where he found it and sighed as he leaned his head back against the wall. He looked up at the sky and began to smile. I looked up to see what he was smiling at, but I couldn’t see anything. The sky was a light blue, the sun was falling behind the buildings and there was not a cloud in sight.
“What is it? What are you smiling at?”
“Oh it is nothing.”
“No tell me… what is it?”
“It is not important.” He looked at me and smirked, and I knew he was trying to make a point when he asked me what was wrong I just ignored him and yelled at him.
“I am sorry… “
“You have nothing to apologize for.”
“What were you smiling at?”
“The sky… it is perfect. The sun is shining, the birds are flying and there are no clouds. It is just the kind of sky that makes you want to smile.”
He was right; I looked up at the sky and couldn’t help but smile. The day was perfect. It was the kind of day that I would have loved to spend at the park writing or taking pictures.
“Oh great Liv… I mean Olivia!”
“Hahaha what are you talking about?”
“I have been trying to get you to smile since I sat down, you laughed at me for like five seconds, but you didn’t really smile.”
Christian stood up and put his hand out, I reached up for his hand and cleaned the dirt off the back of my legs. I had just met Christian two day before and I already felt completely comfortable around him. He already helped me twice.
“Hey I … I wanted to thank you for yesterday. I mean for helping me out and standing up for me.”
“Oh don’t worry about it. I was sort of surprised Amy was acting that way. I mean from the moment we walked into the store she became a different person, jumping around and screaming. I thought she was just excited to see you, but then she started saying all those thing about you.”

“Amy and I tease each other a lot it really wasn’t a big deal.”
“Yeah I knew that I mean the stuff she was saying to your Mother about you and how you work all the time.”
I felt my cheeks turn red as I looked at my feet to hide my embarrassment. Again I was ashamed to admit to Christian that I was a bit of a loner. I wasn’t sure why I felt so embarrassed but I did and more than anything I just wanted to change the subject.
Christian still holding my hand bent down to look me in the eyes. He was just about to say something when Amy came around the corner. Both of our heads turned to watch her run up to us. I quickly pulled my hand away from Christian’s and took a step back. As I stepped away Christian turned to look at me, but then Amy was standing next to him pulling at his sleeve. She was complaining because he was late and they were going to lose their table at the restaurant. Amy turned to look at me, I must still have had some make up smudged under my eyes because she asked me what was wrong. I looked at Christian then back at her. There was no way I was going to tell her what I heard our parents talking about. I just hoped that Christian would not tell her that he saw me here crying.
Thankfully Amy was too concerned with losing her reservations to question me about what had happened. She ran back up the street pulling Christian behind her. I stood and watch as he turned back to look at me just as they turned the corner.
I should have known then. I should have figured it out and put an end to everything right then and there. If I had Amy would have been by my side as I approached the alter, she would have been there to help me pick out a dress and shoes like she always did when we were younger. Then again if I had put a stop to it all right then and there I would have my sister, but I would not be getting married.
The weather that night was just as wonderful as it was earlier, the sky was clear and there were several sparkling stars hanging above me as I laid on my Father’s hammock listening to my I pod. The light from the kitchen was shining through the window. I could see my Father sitting at the table with my Mother standing next to him shaking her head. They spent the entire afternoon arguing about how to pay for the house and whether or not they should tell my Brother and Sister.
There were just a few more months before my tuition money was due and they needed to pay all this money out to keep the house. My Mother hoped that by re opening my Grandmother’s shop she would be able to make some extra money to help pay for the electric bills, but the store was not making enough. If anything it was only adding on more for my Mother to stress about. I was glad to be outside and away from the tension that was obviously building in the Kitchen.
Swaying slowly back and forth I turned my music up and closed my eyes. It was calming and peaceful. Until Amy came running out the door, “Olivia your friends Elizabeth and Alexis are here.” Elizabeth and Alexis were my friends from High School. We were extremely close, but once I left for school it made it difficult to stay in touch. Alexis came and gave me a huge hug, and Elizabeth sat down on the hammock next to me. We all sat together talking and laughing. It was as if we had just seen each other the day before. Alexis who was a senior in High School updated Elizabeth and I on all of the drama going on at High School. Elizabeth was a sophomore in college. Once Alexis finished telling us who was dating who and where she bought her new outfit Elizabeth began talking about her finals and how she joined a new club at school. It was great being able to spend time with them again. When the three of us were together we had so much fun. Alexis was the energetic fashionistia, Elizabeth was the smart one in the group. She was the most logical out of all of us, and I was the quiet writer.
After about an hour of non- stop laughing and joking around Amy reappeared outside. Elizabeth, Alexis and I all caught our breaths as Amy walked up to us.
“Olivia, can I borrow your long silver earrings? The ya know.. the ones you never wear?”
“The ones Mom gave me for Christmas?”
“Yes! Don’t you think they would match perfectly with my dress?”
“I don’t know, but yeah sure take them. What do you want them for anyway?”
“Christian is taking me to the fair!”
I had forgotten that every year there was a huge town fair held the week of Thanksgiving. I never actually had been to the fair, but supposedly it was a really nice event. The fairgrounds covered a good portion of town, and the streets were lined with booths that sold things like jewelry, scarfs, decorations and food. There were carnival rides for children, cotton candy, and games where you can win giant stuffed animals. There was also the famous music contest that was held every year. The winner would get a day in a record studio and 200 dollars. Amy had told me that Christian was rich, so it surprised me that he wasn’t taking her out to some big fancy restaurant or to some Broadway play.