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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1881823-Reasons-2-Explain
Rated: E · Poetry · Family · #1881823
a thought on what's been goin' down...hurts me inside...
It's like watchin' another family
fall apart
and I can't help it
no, I lost it
I cry myself to sleep again
I need to find myself a friend
but who wants to be a friend
with someone growing up in a war zone?

I'm just watching the fighting
and the arguing
and I can't do anything
I can't help
so I run
I run away to my room
my safe-place
my only shelter

It hurts me so much
it only makes me cry
I can't lie
and I try and I try to walk away
I feel myself pull away.
And I cry and I cry and I run away
all I have left of them is a picture to go by
and I don't even want that
I rip my face free of them
and I throw the family portrait away

cast away
yesterday
ran away
can't get the memories out of my head
wonder if I could end this with lead....

Same story, different life.
Walk away before I cry
cos sometimes I can't hold it in
no matter how I try, I will cry.
They still fight and yell
emotions swell
can nothing quell
this eternal fighting?

No, it's just like before
but now there's 2 more
they get mad cos they had 2 stop playin'
they keep sayin' it ain't fair they had 2 stop
mom and dad ain't playin'
am I the only one....
that understands why they told them to leave?
They don't know
how it scars
they don't understand
that they're trying to save them from
seeing what all I've seen
from hurting like I do
but why didn't he ever
do that for me...?

did he know, somehow
that he'd leave her
and need someone to explain his actions
or maybe
more likely
he just didn't care
that I say it and got hurt....

but there's no time to cry
so I'll wipe the tears out of my crying face.
So lost in space...

so u ask me no!
why I'm so cold
so hurt
so lost
so broken
stay hidden
black shroud
no positivity in my life
all a game
shrouded in mist
black hole
hide forever
no, run forever
because I can no longer stay...

Broken family portrait
broken glasses filled my ears.
Things breaking
people yelling, screaming
so broken...
can't we just pretend this is working?
no...

I shield myself from it
won't let this thing called emotion take hold
left so cold inside
I know some sort of warmth should be
but I have shut the world away
this world has left my soul frozen
cold-blooded and callous
emotionless...
and when they do stir, they're quickly suppressed
so paranoid
and I will never change.

So how can I believe
this could be any different?
Shut the world away
and I will leave today
because I know you never loved me
I know you never will.
carry meaning?
Here it is...
humans are cold
they're greedy
they're vein.
They think nothing of hurting others
or each other.

So I'll kiss my faith goodbye
try to fight another day
and I will walk away.
© Copyright 2012 Sussie Sapphire (zerina4eva at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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