Dietary Standing

It’s the pangs of a diet all due to my waist;
there are so many goodies that I should not taste.
Yet my mother-in-law gives a party this eve
in the spirit of Christmas with joy to achieve.

So I’m here at the buffet and what can I do?
If I cede to my wants then more waist will accrue.
But my mother-in-law has a pretty thin skin,
so I pass by pizzelles and I take a few in.

Can I look to my wife and call kindness a draw
without risking upsetting my mother-in-law?
Must the sugar-baked wafers and delicious fudge
interfere with my diet and give nosh a nudge?

Thus I’m holding a Diet Coke next to my lips;
it’s my goal to lose weight and to lessen my hips.
Yet a mother-in-law is a delicate bird
when there’s so much to eat and dessert is the word.

On the tray oatmeal cookies and gingerbread man;
I resist taste bud lusting the best that I can.
But if calories could be absorbed through the eyes,
before we leave this party I’d increase in size.

O she’s coming my way and I see by her fret
she’s unhappy I’ve not eaten baklava yet.
I look quick to my better half--“Help me please Peg!”
“There is no time to waste, I have no hollow leg!”

And the room is revolving with frosting galore;
as I look for an apple I’m met with a Smore.
My dear mother-in-law has let baking abide;
as all good guests devour, she bubbles with pride.

It’s a delicate walk when your mother-in-law
gives a party and you have to limit your maw.
So I wear cargo pants for some sweet stowaway,
and my standing stays good at this festive soiree.

32 Lines

soiree: \swä-ˈrā\ a party or reception held in the evening.