Dishonesty

DISHONESTY

Oh my God
I miss the smoothness of your back
The wetness of your mouth
You've gone again away
I'm not enough its true
I can't keep you on my patch
I can't make you stay
My life is not for you
Only the stolen kisses
Its not enough to grow my hair
Listen, be willing
Give him a hundred blow-jobs
Its not me he misses
Last attempt - do or die
If I were completley me
If I showed myself bare
Would you come to me
Or would you be repulsed
Would you flee?

Anguish is gnawing my insides out
My words are plastic, crap, deceiving
Tricks of light and shadows, mirrors and smoke
So many false gods to believe in
What appears is not real
The future is a lie
Let me find my source.