Big Day For Goose

All eyes were on Rhonda as she nervously paced inside the barn.

“Come on Rhonda, maybe they’re having turkey this year or even going out to dinner.” Rhonda stopped in her tracks, turning to face the pig.

“Daniel, when have you ever known the farmers to do anything on Christmas day but eat goose? Huh?”

Daniel looked around the barn for some support but the other animals stood quietly. They’d been sharing this barn for a long time and the pig considered them all family. He hated seeing anybody down, especially around the holidays.

“Farmer Tom is going to get an axe,” Rhonda said shrilly, “take me out of here and lop my head off.”

“Maybe you could tell the farmer that you’re a special goose,” the cow chimed in.

“Finally,” Daniel said. “I was running out of ideas over here.”

“Special? How so?” Asked the horse.

“Well,” said the cow, “maybe tell him that you lay special eggs.”

The barn fell silent. The cow might be onto something.

"Or, maybe you could tell him you just got hired as the spokesman for Aflac,” the sheep offered. “You know, because he wouldn’t want to kill and eat you if he thought he had a money maker on his hands.”

"That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, Wally,” Rhonda said and resumed her nervous pacing.

“Tell me more about these “special eggs,” she said to the cow.

Later, you could cut the tension with a knife when the familiar CLACK of the barn latch sounded and in stepped Farmer Tom. The gruff man approached Rhonda with a burlap bag as she made a few feeble attempts to escape the inevitable.

“Say their sir,” Rhonda said, speaking quickly as she knew time was of the essence. “You might want to be aware of something vitally important.” The farmer continued with his task of bagging the bird.

“Now I say good man, unhand me. I am a very special goose and lay very special eggs,” Rhonda said indignantly as the bag moved up over her shoulders.

“Seriously, “ she honked. “They’re very special eggs and you’d be making a big mistake to continue with what you’re planning.”

“He’s not buying it,” Rhonda yelled to the others. In the heat of the moment she expected the others to rush to her aid and overpower the farmer but soon realized that was not to be. The other animals, the horse, the pig, the stupid sheep had all stepped back into the shadows, leaving Rhonda alone. Her heart sank.

“You dirty so and so’s,” she muttered.

As the barn door closed behind the farmer the animals stayed in the shadows and listened. All slightly ashamed but equally glad that it was the goose’s time and not theirs.

Through the barn walls they heard Rhonda made her last ditch attempt to convince the farmer of her true value.

“Wait for it,” Wally said, and smiled in self-satisfaction when Rhonda uttered her final words.

“Aflac, AFLAC!”