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Rated: 13+ · Other · Comedy · #1968310
When a New Jersey born college student decides to go her separate way.
Fulton Street 8th floor meeting: Attention Jersey Shore kids
9:00pm Wednesday night:

Dara: So I’m sure this is going to be a tad bit awkward, espically because I am not completely sure what it is exactly im trying to accomplish by calling this meeting. I’m not quite sure if I even know what it mean’s to throw a meeting or that I should be throwing one at all, but I rarely think things through, I’m very much about immediate gratification. I’m hoping that this is something I will eventually grow out of, but for now it’s something I can’t help.
So since a lot of you have already shared with me whether you realized it or not some of your deepest, darkest insecurities. So, I thought I would have all the Jersey Shore kids on the 8th floor come over to my dorm, hoping that no one had anything really important to attend to this evening, personally I believe Wednesday to be the most uneventful day of the week. “Is it the start of the week or the end of the week? Is the glass half way full or half way empty, I do not know I just was trying to accomidate all of you based on my own personal beliefts and I hope it worked out.
I’m going to try to explain myself to the best of my abilities, I already know that what I am about to say might confuse most of you, ill be confused as well. You are not in this alone.

Before I start, I want everyone to take notice of the entenmans crumb cake and napkins I have set out to the left of my sink. I don’t really know what im doing here, I am not sure if food was necessary at all, there is one thing I do know though cheese and crackers is out of my budget. I also have tap water and im not sure if we have any clean cups but “whats mine is yours circumstantially at least.”

I don’t know if anyone else feels the same way that I feel about these dorming arrangments. I think it is a little odd that pace university decided to place 8 people from the jersey shore on the same exact floor, it seems as though it was done purposely. I don’t know if any of you are aware of what people on other’s floors of this dormitory buiding refer to the 8th floor of this building.
It doesn’t matter because I know,
1. 8 ball hall
2. “Whatever the situation” floor

As you all know, the 8th floor has the most jersey shore kids per floor out of all the dorm building’s, including Clarke, St. George and John Street. This can’t be a coincidence. I feel like a caged animal, I feel like I am being generalized and I can’t handle this sort of situation. I don’t really know who leaked my personal information, but since iv been outted, I thought id let you all know that iv decided to continue to pretend that I have no idea what you people are talking about. I am sorry its not you its me and honestly, we aren’t the same and I will tell you all why.
1. most of you are from either colts neck, Marlboro & Freehold, lets get real. This is not the Jersey Shore, your parent’s are sell out’s they traded their beach view to live in a developmental housing community build on old farm land, in which every home looks the same and you can get more “bang for your buck”. Your parents opted for a longer commute to the beach for high cielings, an extra half bedroom and basement with home gym potential. We do not come from the same sort of situation so I don’t think it is fair that we have to live on the same floor.
I know this might sound insane but really it isn’t . If we were in NJ we would not be considered the same. You all seem to think your all so bad ass, but I have seen your facebook pages and we have no mutual friends and I almost positive that I know every really truly bad, fucked up individual on the Jersey Shore. Also, none of you seem to remember a party in which someone from my high school robbed either your parents jewelery, your little brothers playstation or took your parents car for a joy ride into the next door neighbors shed. So, this means we really are quite removed. If we don’t have one mutual friend of a friend that robbed someone from your highschool at one time or another, we couldn’t even possibly be connected.
My school was known for their bad party manors and I find it hard to believe that no one has judged me for the high school I went to already, if you all really knew who I was the attendance wouldn’t have been so good.
However, I wont entertain any of this behavior, I wont co sign any stereotype made in regards to my hometown. I have decided to go in a different direction, I hope everyone can respect this.
Don’t feel like you need to offer me Xanax if you run into me on the elevator late night, its okay i'm awake because I was studying. Studying to achieve something better than this. A lot of you seem to be making up for your lack of participation in social circles in high school, you didn’t miss much.
Kim you said you didn’t talk much in high school, well I have no idea why you started because its really bad and I don’t know if its because you held back for so many years but everything that comes out of your mouth is very bad. The things you say out loud are the type of things I refer to as “inside thoughts”, you opened Pandora's box and it wont close. It’s just actually such a big mess. I can’t be associated with the words that come out of your mouth.
I am not New Jersey, I am Dara Low and as of right now dara low lives in the financial district in New York City. I am embracing this and only this.
Do not give me any unwarnented high fives, people will start to take notice. Do not offer me Xanax as a peace offering on the elevator. If any of you have a seizure do not, DO NOT have it outside my door. I have to remain off the grid, this cannot get out.
I refuse to go down with this ship, we aren’t the same. It’s not you its me I am experiencing a hell of an identity crisis and I want nothing more than for all of this to disappear and it wont. Don’t talk to me about windmill, don’t pretend you aren’t afraid of Asbury Park and last but not least do not try and thrill me with your knowledge of my high school sport’s NEVER accomplishments.

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