daddy issues in progress or out

Having ................... is a better life then having no childhood I say. Growing up I never really had a normal life I had secrets that I had to keep from everyone and "dreams that felt so reall" Watching a mother have no control of a the relationship with a MAN that only thought of one thing that give him desire, angry, and hurt, but not to him self to his 5 children and a wife that was in pain. An alcoholic father ruined my childhood they way I watched him beat my mother and hurt her like she was a pig in the farm how Ironic I say the only pig was a dad who had no self control.... Having my Older sister take care of us while my mother waits for my dad to come home and get beat hearing her shout and cry for help as we stay in our rooms useless knowing we cant help cause we were to young to fight. One time when I was in the third grade was watching TV I remember I was watching a show and my dad accidentally hit me with the metal of the belt leaving me a bruised and bumped on my head next day I went to school and the teachers asked me what happened and I spoke and yes we did get dcf. My mother made us lie to to the African American lady she will come over ask us question and check our body for bruises. I remember my mom telling me if she's asks "if your dad drinks say no" and I made a joke out of it said" I'm say yes he drink water, soda, milk" I got yelled at for joking I guess it was a serious matter. As time passed and many days the same the only thing that changed was our age. My dad stopped drinking and started becoming a better person I was never a daddy's girl or the favorite child of the house hold .I never talked to my dad only when we were done eating to make sure I ate enough food. I never had conversation in a sense I always had a dad but never really a dad to show me how to love or how to treat a guy he was an angry person didn't like when we fell got mosquito bites ,or br.....