This is the end of The Most Optimistic Tragedy 1
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And yet the thoughts about bloodthirsty sinners, and moreover, about the just retribution did not give me rest. So, at our next meeting with the angel, I blurted out without any introduction, "What about the hell? I mean, murderers, tyrants and sadists must carry a fair punishment somehow.
The dedicated villain himself will hardly ever repent so easily and yearn to atone for his sins with his blood. Because, he has committed villainy consciously.
"You're right," – the Angel agreed quietly: "By the way, good morning!"
I nodded quickly, not very politely, looking forward to a response.
"Initially, the choice depends on the person entirely, but, over time the person gets completely dependent on his or her choice," - the angel said pointedly.
"And can’t you go into detail?" - I asked: “Or it looks too much like a pre-election political slogan."
"Of course," – the angel answered readily: "Any person has to make a choice periodically. However, no one is immune from mistakes or a bad mood. And so, he makes the wrong but decisive choice, just without thinking. "
"And how can you know that this choice is decisive?" - I tried to find out.
"The exact criteria do not exist." - He explained calmly: "Sometimes any little thing can change the fate drastically. However, a person can feel the importance of the moment, if he is attentive, of course".
"Oh, is it again this sort of things; listen to your soul?" - I asked sarcastically.
The angel looked at me reproachfully and continued: "One wrong choice will not become fatal necessarily. It is much more dangerous that if the person is continuing to move in the wrong direction so thoughtlessly, he starts to change himself, and typically not for the best. Thus, the next time he chooses a bad way just out of habit, for convenience, because everyone else is doing the same". - The angel concluded.
"So, to the next crossing, he comes as a completely different person, perhaps capable of a serious crime!" - I picked up, trying to atone for my tactlessness.
"Yes," - the angel agreed: "After all, with each successive wrong choice, it is easier for the person -to stifle the voice of his conscience and more difficult to understand what he is doing."
"And in the end, these people fall into the abyss of sin forever, where, God's wrath catches up with them for sure! Well, I mean, devils fry them in pans and poke them with forks "- I asked hopefully.
The angel looked at me with suspicion, and I felt ashamed of my bloodlust.
"And now we will go together and will see who rolls where and why ..." - the angel chilled my righteous anger: "It’s quite close." He gestured toward a small aspen grove.
At a distance, the inferno that was promised to me looked as quite a nice place. However, the closer we approached the more clearly muffled sobs, groans and some vile champing sounded.
The stench, that enveloped us more and more, was impossible to describe! You could think that someone was frying scrambled rotten eggs, herring and men's socks.
We waded through the thick undergrowth of young aspens and junipers and found ourselves on a large meadow. The wide pit gaped in the center. Its almost perpendicular walls presented dirty-brown, looking like dried blood, rough stone teeth, it was densely overgrown with wild thorny dog roses, thistles and nettles. Above, at the edge of the pit a group of angels were located. They were talking easily, they were bored obviously, but sometimes they threw curious glances into the pit. I looked down too but recoiled in horror! All the bottom of the deep pit was covered with thick stinking muck that moved spewing nasty champing, heavy mud splashes and curses to all things!
Looking closer, I realized that those were human bodies, which wriggled and writhed as if they had been tortured with sharp stakes.
Suddenly there was a bloodcurdling scream: "I am not guilty! They made me! I had no choice! "
An exhausted dirty man with angrily burning eyes climbed on the back of a fat woman, crawling nearby. He pushed off from her and tried to jump on the shoulders of a hefty fellow standing near, but he dodged deftly, and our hero dropped with a groan of despair into the stinking muck where he disappeared immediately trampled by his own neighbors.
Thus, the whole of the mass was a crowd of dirty evil people who tried to use each other as stepping stones to get to the surface. But every time they slipped to the bottom where, they turned into building material for their fellow sufferers immediately.
"Are these the real sinners?" - I asked with disgust.
"Yeah," - the Angel confirmed: "These are the sinners unrepentant in their grievous sins. Here are murderers, and major frauds and maniacs, and child molesters, and suicides, and traitors ...”
"And are the lobbyists, too?" - I interrupted the Angel curiously.
"Well, of course, I said: the big crooks and traitors" - the Angel reassured me and continued, "Each of them believed that they had no choice, they blame their difficult childhood, bad weather, bad mood, the government, the neighbor, the mother-in-law, whoever else but not themselves. "
"And so they feel entitled to go on other people's heads to get the goals?" - I asked, with "understanding."
"Imagine, that’s so" - the Angel smiled ironically: "And while they believe that the end justifies the means, and that they have no choice, they will writhe at the bottom of this cesspool."
"And why do they wriggle in convulsions, as if the devils fried them in a skillet and poked forks into them?" - I asked my favorite question.
"Maybe devils and forks seem to act to very impressionable sinners. In fact, God's punishment is executed by the universal law of divine energy, however, as everything in the universe, "- explained the angel.
"The law of energy? This is physics, isn’t it? "- I asked disappointedly.
"Of course, the law of conservation of energy, the law of the exchange of energy and others" - he explained easily: "To put it plainly, if you had the strength and desire, that is the energy, to accumulate and pour out the evil to life, so be kind to accept the evil back. However, it can already be multiplied many times. But these are details. "- The angel said.
I suddenly found myself on the fact that I feel triumphant gloat, and in order to stop this low emotion, I imagined that it was possible that after one of my not very successful past life I was so desperately floundered in this puddle, too. And maybe more than once... The feeling of petty revenge was replaced instantly by deep sorrow and pity for the unfortunate.
“But do you think that if they can feel all the pain they caused to others, they will want to make amends? They rather become even more embittered. "- I said incredulously.
"They have eternity in store. In the end, they will realize that no one else is to blame for what they did, because the final choice had always belonged to them. Sooner or later they all get out". - The angel waved casually.
"Wow - an eternity in the swamp!" - I was seriously concerned, when suddenly I noticed an active commotion at the bottom near the wall.
"Oh! I seem to see one of the repentant! "- The Angel said gladly and pointed to this action. The figure of a man separated from the bad brown mush and began to rapidly climb the wall. The dirty hands of the unrepentant ones clung to him, trying to draw him back, but he fought back successfully, grabbing hold of the branches of the bushes. Tearing the body in the blood on the sharp rocks and thorns of plants, he moved up slowly but steadily. It was impossible to see his appearance beneath the mud. Just his eyes burned with fierce fire, and the sonorous voice sounded confident: "I have done all this, I am guilty, I have to redeem, I must fix it urgently!"
Then the angels, standing at the meadow perked up noticeably, and started to cheer him and pull their hands toward him. They were so excited with joy, that if they were not angels, I would suspect that they had made a bet on the penitent. But the angels were happy for him sincerely, literally glowing with happiness! Seizing him by the arms, the angels soared to the heavens and out of sight behind the tree tops.
"Where are they taking him? To the reforging? "- I asked with interest.
"You could say that," – the angel nodded, "But he has still much work to do some to earn a new chance in a new life," - he said, looking after them thoughtfully.
"Therefore, if that maniac, well, the son of our indecisive old woman had repented sincerely before his execution, so after his death, he would have turned out not at the bottom, but somewhere on the wall, on the way up, where he would have been picked up by the angels?" - I wanted to clarify all the details.
"Most likely," - agreed the Angel: "There is no greater joy for an angel than a repentant sinner." I nodded fervently, although I was not an angel.
"But I wonder if Hitler or Stalin had floundered here in their time, too? They had already crawled out to the surface? "- I asked, cautiously looking around.
“No, actually, the tyrants of this magnitude get their personal hell in specially equipped premises”.
"Are they here in a special position, too?" - I was outraged.
"But there is nothing you can envy them now. More terrible place does not exist! "- The angel said sadly. I did not understand what upset him; the harsh fate of sinners, or that low feelings still overwhelm my immortal soul from time to time.
"This is done solely for humanitarian reasons in relation to others, because even the most hardened and brave soul cannot endure such a spectacle "- continued the angel.
"Why?" - I asked naively.
"For example, take Hitler who is blame that millions of people died or were doomed to suffer. All their pain, every drop of blood, every tear, merging into a whole sea, came down on his mean little soul, corroding it like sulfuric acid. And fear, despair, hopelessness of all those unfortunate creatures bombard the tyrants soul, burning to ashes all its evil and filth. Later, however, this is completely purified soul is atomized into fine initial particles that flow back into the ocean of the universal divine energy. They lose their personal identity completely; however, each of them carries a strong lesson learned: no evil ever goes unpunished! "- The angel concluded solemnly.
"However, the current" lords of the world "who identify themselves as untouchable and imagine themselves supermen. Once here, they will be all hugely disappointed, won’t they? "- I was not appeased.
"You do not even doubt it", - the angel assured me: "All those who unleash wars and organize political upheavals, who are to blame that famine, epidemics torment and kill innocent people, who fancy themselves the arbiters of mankind and who manipulate the fates of the entire peoples and countries for the sake of money and power. All of them, and first of all those who, in their turn, direct and manage them, whoever they are and whoever they fancied themselves to be, all of these eventually come here. And before God, as you know, all are equal! "- The angel said simply.
"You mean to say that the anger of the Lord will inevitably overtake them." - I said ardently.
"Not really," – the Angel cooled my righteous anger: "God is not a petty-minded vindictive executioner. He is the only Wisdom, Love and ... "- he paused, giving me the opportunity to finish.
"And I got it, Wisdom, Love, and the Universal Law of Divine Energy! This is like the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit! "- I was delighted.
"You can say," - the angel nodded approvingly: "In general, no anger, revenge, nothing personal, just the Universal Law of Divine Energy!"
I left this terrible place with mixed feelings. There were disgust and horror, barely suppressed malicious joy, pity and significantly strengthened faith in the triumph of divine justice!
Next morning we were to meet on a park bench. I was there first. It was very early. The sun was just beginning to rise further over the horizon. The nature is slowly waking up, still wet with dew, delicate, like a kid who just woke up and found you, smiled and held his tiny hands to you. And you tell him, "Well, sleep a little more, well, at least five secs or so. It's too early!" - You're trying to extend your morning sleep. "People are selfish. However, these attempts never work. Neither for nature, nor even for children "- I concluded.
"What are you thinking about early in the morning?" - I heard the cheerful voice of my angel just in my ear.
I hesitated: "Oh, about nature, about humanity, about our powerlessness" - I said quite honestly.
At this point, the sun's rays seemed to have touched even the most secret of birds' nests.
Waking up, the birds all at once raised such a ruckus that I heard the ringing in my ears!
"Well, let's go to a quieter place, or shall we wait when this hymn to a new day is over?" – the angel asked me a little cynically.
"Let's wait" - I asked.
We were sitting stunned by the bird hubbub. Each bird, even the smallest dickey pipes her personal warble, a song is known only to her. All together, it sounded like a cacophony that rends the air! But it had such might and excitement that we literally were covered with a powerful wave of happiness of knowing that we are part of this grand divine concert!
When everything calmed down a bit, the angel said: "You know, life is like a school. You come into this life as a class. You learn something new. Studying, reading, trying to understand it. You make friends and enemies. Sometimes, you change them to new ones, someone is your friend or enemy for a long time. Like in the school, they give you a task that you need to perform well.
If you failed the exam, you still have to retake it, maybe at once, maybe in many years, maybe in another life. When you are bombarded with difficulties and tribulations, you invoke with indignation to the sky: "For what?" Maybe it's time to retake that your "tail", that your exam that you failed in a previous life? And when the school day ends (the one of your earthly lives), you're going back home, back to your source. Here you are resting, doing work on the bugs”.
"Some people have a rest in a cesspool" - I said, but then quickly corrected, "it's deservedly so, of course"
“The most of you are resting, doing work on the bugs”, - the angel said calmly and continued: “ With the help of the older, wiser men you go on doing your homework, preparing for a new school day. You define the main objectives and the steps that will be expected in the future life. In all its areas: family, career, love, and creativity. It may also be political or religious principles. Goal of a successful solution of these problems is a spiritual growth, improvement of your soul. Incarnated on earth, you can't already bypass or change the main, basic tests. ‘Cause they were planned in advance, by the way, with your active participation and consent. This is called destiny, fate. But you can and should change yourself. It’s on this that all depends directly how your life will flow, how you will solve your problems, take your exams. Of course, this will affect your next lives. Everything is connected, everything is united”
"Wait," - I interrupted the monologue of the angel: "We know that schools are different.
And what if the school may turn out to be too difficult for a person? "
"Nothing happens by chance" - the angel hastened to reassure me: "Of course, on the advice of your senior colleagues, but ultimately, you yourself define milestones (items that you decided to take this time) and by what time you have to take the exam. Including the country and the family where you're going to be born. "
"And what types of schools are there?" - I asked with interest, "what does it depend on at what school you study?”
"Let's look at the main types of schools," - the angel began to describe in detail: "For example, a kindergarten or elementary school. There all surrounding people are usually kind and caring, Education passes in game. However, you still have to adhere to certain rules. Otherwise, you may suffer physically or psychologically. You surely know these people. They tend to be friendly and nice. They are generally relaxed and comfortable all their life. Whatever it was, it does not mean that they are on the low or the initial level of spiritual development. It is possible that this respite is the deserved rest between more complicated lives.”
"That is, more complex schools? " - I said.
"Relatively speaking, yes." - the angel nodded: "For example, the lives comparable to high school. Suffice it is to recall yourself at the age of 12-18 years. You know much more than before, but this knowledge is unsystematic. You hardly know the cause- effect relationship. And there is a teenage hormonal storm in the body. Apparently, the majority of law-abiding, more or less educated people pass their lives lessons in such schools. They are not stupid, and not evil, that's all. They are not consistent in their decisions, they constantly question and doubt and mix up actions. If they are successful in society, they tend to have problems in their personal life. And vice versa is. They think that if they can’t get everything at once, they are doomed to choose only one. However, this is a mistake. If they're making the right choice at the right time, as a result, be sure the missing part of human happiness will come. In these schools, first of all people learn, the ability to set priorities in life correctly. When they are faced with a serious choice in life, they need to break through the storm of their emotions, sometimes even through their former beliefs and principles so that they could hear the soul, hear the slightest tip from the above. It’s clear, however, such people do not achieve harmony easily because the hormonal storm in a teenage body has not been canceled yet " - the angel smiled.
I thought, "You know, really, it's all about me and many of my friends. Among them, there are no obvious, overt villains, but it’s true wholly positive people are not so numerous. As a rule, they constantly doubt and vary from side to side. And, as a rule, they are not satisfied with the result of their actions. Although, on the whole they are good and not stupid people"
The angel continued: "As you know, there is a much more serious education. For example, there are institutions and academies, with the most complicated exams. Or there are so-called schools of survival in military camps, or in the army. In the end, there are schools for troubled teens! People who participate in hostilities or criminals, people who lose their family or die of hunger and poverty, as well as prominent politicians, military leaders or movie stars, all of them solve their tasks just in such schools. Again, this does not necessarily indicate any particular level of development of their souls. Type of school depends on what tasks and penalties they have to solve either to suffer in this present life. The purpose of any punishment is not to hurt a person, but let him feel the pain that he knowingly caused to others, let him understand and never do so."
"But what about teachers who teach in the school?" - I interrupted the angel,
"By the way, they are not always very good. Each school has a director, head teachers. In the school of life – who are the teachers – are they some higher beings?”
"Not always," - the angel stopped me: "Usually, these people are just like you. You live next to them or meet by chance, as you think. Not necessarily, they are better and smarter than you. Rather, on the contrary. But you must choose for yourself the right course of action, even in the most, as it seems, unfair situation! All of them are your teachers. In fact, they just take their lessons in close cooperation with you. You are also their teacher. Everyone must learn to rise above the situation, above his momentary emotions. Everyone has to understand what is urgent and what is really important in his life. This is not always the same. Do you remember: ask the right question at the right moment? "
I nodded uncertainly. But after some thought, I remarked, "It turns out, people always have complete freedom of choice. And simultaneously they always bear complete responsibility for their choice? It is fair actually"
"Of course!" - The angel confirmed: "There will be no balance, nor equilibrium in the universe without fairness. And then the building will collapse irretrievably.
So, from lesson to lesson, from choice to choice, you move forward slowly," - the angel continued, "sometimes, you slip back quickly. But I know for sure, every human immortal soul irresistibly strives for excellence, to become like God and merge with him together, with its source, as it was originally. Then there will be peace and harmony on earth." "Well, judging by what I've seen here, this would take ages" - I said a little disappointed.
"Maybe it's not so bad" - the sly angel said: "After all, when this finally happens, the meaning of life, such as “schools”, disappears. And if the school is not required, it can be completely removed, as unnecessary. It turns out that the promised end of the world will come only when the last irreclaimable person reaches perfection. "
"Thus, do not worry" - I picked up with enthusiasm: "It will happen in the best case through infinity".
"Yes" – the angel laughed: "It sounds cynical, but optimistic."
"And yet it's fine, fair and honest!" - I clapped my hands involuntarily. My Angel bowed ceremoniously. I decided to be frank: "But I think I knew it. I grew up in the Soviet era. In my childhood, I knew the word "soul" more from proverbs. I didn't invest in it any sacred meaning. But I felt that there was something eternal in us. I remember I was six years when I began to ask adults, "Behold, I’ll die. Where am I going? I myself? ", They replied:" You will rot in the damp earth. "I objected: "This body will rot, it's understandable. But, I myself? I knew exactly that I couldn’t disappear altogether. It is the fact that we live many lives, and our soul is eternal, I was explaining as a child, but quite reasonable: "I'm for myself – it is the" I ". Everyone else around - is "you", "they", "other" ... Next time, I'll be born again, as a boy or as a girl. Maybe, in another country, at other time. But I myself will feel the same "I". And all around are "he", "she", "you" and "other."All twisted their fingers to their temples. I gave up trying to convince someone of what I knew for sure. As if I had always known. Perhaps I remembered it from my past lives? Only when thirty years old, I heard the word "reincarnation" the first time and realized that it was not only my personal belief.
One day, my elder daughter Eva asked: "Mom, do you really believe that?"
I replied that I do not believe, but I know. And not from anyone, but by myself, and I know and that’s it. Therefore, it is exact! And Eve had not believed. Shortly before leaving, she suddenly said she did not want to live till her old age, to be sick and ugly. I was so scared of these words: "What do you say, my daughter! Here we are me and your dad no longer young, but life for us is quite beautiful and interesting. We are happy with you all”. "But this can be only up to forty ..." - she said thoughtfully. And she was only twenty! I always feel guilty. Was it not my fault that she was not convinced? She was so happy in recent months. She even told my mom, "Grandma, I'm so happy, I'm scared! It can’t be so, it can’t last long. "And what a beautiful and happy bride she was!”
And then the accident …
Tears welled up in my eyes! A cry of despair burst out of my breast: "Eve, my daughter, where are you!?""Mom, I'm here! Hi! "- The clear voice of my Eve rang out. Right in front of me I saw my baby!
Quite real live, dear! So beautiful: long black hair, a slim light figure in lilac silk! Her large brown eyes sparkle with laughter, and in depth - the wisdom of the Ages!
She laughs and takes a step forward. We hug each other. I feel like in my chest something bright and hot shrivels into a small nubbin and then flows freely directly to her, my dear daughter. And the harder I'm holding her in my arms, the more pronounced this feeling is!
"It's exactly you! And the mole on your cheek and the smell - all yours! How I miss you, my darling! How much all of us miss you! Why everything so terrible, is not fair? For what? It is impossible to reconcile with it! "- I asked, sobbing.
"Don't grieve so much. I love you all, my family! I am always with you! "- She comforted me warmly.
I took her hand. These are her long, thin fingers. Here is a small scar. "Do you remember, as a child you broke the glass accidentally and cut yourself with it? We had to call the ambulance". And still not believing my great happiness to the end, I asked in whisper: "Is it exactly you, or just my memory of you? "
"And this, and another thing, and everything else," - she says, laughing.
"I will stay with you forever! I can’t leave you again! "- I say firmly. And again, I touch her, hug, kiss; I have not got enough of it!
"Mom, do you not think about Erica and dad, and grandparents? One more blow! They will remain miserable till the end of their life "- my elder daughter has cooled me got immediately. "I'm all right here. It is good and very interesting here. From here everything seems to be different, increasingly clear and quite sensible."
"And do you probably know our future? How will we live, and what will happen to us? "- I asked a vital question, and then broke off," I'm sorry for selfishness and practicality."
"Come on, it's okay" - she smiled and waved her hand. Lovely dimples shone on her cheeks. She looked at me warmly, somehow, as an adult. Loving parents look so at their children, who ask stupid questions, "I can only say that, in general, you'll be fine. And it will not end very quickly. Much depends on us ourselves. It's possible to predict just what we chose before birth. All the rest - is a consequence of our daily, small choices. Therefore, we must be careful, there are no trifles! "
"My baby, could it have turned out differently? Would we be able somehow to affect your destiny?" - I asked with a mixture of hope and fear.
"By and large, only himself a person can affect his fate. God gave man the greatest gift - the choice. I chose my fate. I went through all that had been conceived before my birth. I think I passed my tests well. It was to be done so. Now I'm moving into my new life, new goals and adventures.
"Her eyes were fixed to the tops of some unseen future. It was clear that she was itching to plunge into a new life stream.
"Wait" - I interrupted her: "So, if I am back to live out this life, we can meet with you in your next earth life? Though briefly, not long? Will I recognize you? And how "- I asked hopefully.
"Certainly by my eyes. And the mother's heart will tell you! "- Eva said with mock pathos. We laughed.
"Stay more with me please, Eva, if you can" - I asked and suggested: “Next time let me be your mother again. I've gotten better, and I will get even better, I promise you! "
"When we meet here next time, we'll agree. Maybe I’ll want to be your mother. "- Eva said with a smile.
"I guess you want to take revenge on me, for not having bought an ice cream for you at that time?". We laughed again.
We talked for a long time, joking, recollecting things, and making plans for the future.
Then we sat in silence, embracing each other. Tears of joy were streaming down my cheeks! My heart was full of love and despair In my soul something rang subtly, painfully, but sweetly!
My little girl put her head on my shoulder. I cradled her softly like in the happy past: I'm twenty-three again, our baby is a year. We are waiting for our dad from his job. Already it's dusk, the cloudy, gray sky glows. Outside the window raindrops plop on the leaves, it’s dark and damp. And my baby is in my arms. Her wet nose sniffs to my shoulder. We are in peace and safety.
The happy countless moments of our lives! Why do we not appreciate them when we are in them? Stupid people!
In the morning inexplicably I found myself in a large bright room. It’s strange, I never remember the night and cannot understand how I happened to be in the next place. Looks like I was just transferred there without any effort and intentions. The angel said that I would read about it in the library. But now I have no time. I should do something without delay. I have to see my daughter! And what if, I am able to return home with her, to all of us? They all will be so happy! After all, miracles happen? If not here, where else?
"Let her go!" – The angel’s quiet voice sounded: "Everything happened as it was supposed to happen. I'm sorry, but …"
I interrupted him with tears: "How could I choose for myself the loss of my child! How could I wish for me, what I couldn't wish even to the worst enemy? Was I a very bad mother in my past life? I didn't love my children and tortured them? Didn’t I? "
"It is not necessarily so" - explained the angel trying to calm me down: "Maybe in your past life, you could not endure such grief the way you should. Instead of supporting your family and helping them to continue to live you've immersed in your suffering. You mourned and wept continuously. You were drowning in your sorrows and ruthlessly pulled back your loved ones to them! Thus you ruined their lives and had created a new grief and suffering on earth. Not for nothing, despondency is a mortal sin."
"Besides," - continued the angel: "Thereby, it's created enormous difficulties for the departed soul. Instead of going on, it remains close to the earthly life. It is tied and burdened by your suffering. So it can stick in the astral for a very long time. And there it is really scary because of the presence of other lost souls. And if they are burdened with their sins, it is a very unpleasant neighborhood. But what is worse, the astral teems with some beings who are created of the most powerful scary, evil, despicable human passions and emotions. It turns out that you doom the light bright soul to grave, undeserved sufferings! "- The angel cried with emotion:" Just think about it”.
"It turns out" - I tried to digest the angel's words: "in my real life I had to find the strength to live with the awareness of the terrible loss? And by all means try to make happy my loved ones who are alive, who are close to me? "
"And you yourself must continue to live as happily as possible. Life - is a great gift. The task of each person is to live it fully, with joy and interest in spite of all difficulties and hardships. Do you understand? "- the angel supported me.
"Just like in school," - I said, "Losers, lazy whiners perceive school as a God’s punishment. A successful workaholic and inquisitive optimists love the good school with enthusiasm and inexhaustible interest!”
"Of course!" - The angel exclaimed with a smile: "But what happened specifically in your case, you will know for sure only next time. When as the saying goes, a full debriefing of your flight will take place. No doubt, it is a very thorough, fair, wise and compassionate process. Besides, we have a wonderful library here, "- he began to enlighten me with the tone of the guide, but he stopped suddenly," But that's for another time. "
And, ahead of my question, he said cheerfully: "Now, you are given a choice, make up your mind, are you staying or leaving?"
I looked at him dumbfounded: "And how about the scheduled date of death? Something does not really fit. Are there any exceptions yet? That is, miracles? "- I asked suspiciously.
Looked like it hurt him, "Your suspicion" he said emphatically official: "is very insulting. I explain on the fingers for particularly curious people. In some moments of life, a person can make an unpredictable, risky move. That, in turn, can lead to such controversial situations like yours. Performing your action, you immediately jumped to a higher level of soul development. This can be compared to an exam externally. It is optional, but encouraged. From time to time, such opportunities are available to people, and from time to time people use them."
"But I did it unconsciously, automatically" - I tried to justify myself with downcast eyes modestly.
Not appreciating my posturing (again, damn pride!), the angel explained patiently: "In fact, what is unconscious is stronger, firmer. So it has already become your character, your essence. Someone is automatically, unconsciously kind and considerate. Someone is as automatically and unconsciously rude and selfish. If you want to change yourself, to begin with, you should at least understand what is wrong with you. "
"But now we’ll speak about a different thing" - the angel switched abruptly:
"I should explain that if you are staying here now, the level of your soul will remain higher. But if you go back, no one can guarantee anything. "
"You want to say that I will have a chance to become a bastard?" - I clarified directly.
"Well, why is it so rough?" - the angel grieved sincerely, "sliding down is not so simple, either.
But no one is immune from mistakes, reckless and shameful acts. On the earth, there are many temptations! "- His tone sounded notes of dreaming, but he immediately pulled himself together: "In other words, if you've done bad things there, you’ll come here again with different outcomes. Of course, maybe on the contrary you may get extra points "- he added not very confidently.
"It turns out interesting" - I was not appeased: "Suppose I am selfishly worrying only about my precious soul. By my death I have done absolutely miserable all of my family. So I consciously multiply suffering in this, that is in that world "- I was bursting with anger and doubt:" And does it deserve an award? "
"Do you want to confuse me?" - the angel cried hurt: "Do as you know yourself. I just had to explain the nuances. You led us into this maze! In the end, what follows from that, and where it flows, only God knows! "- he grumbled in the hearts.
"I'm sorry, please forgive me unreasonable!" - I repented sincerely: "Once it is known to God alone, then I'll probably be back to be good to somebody. Thank you for everything! "
"Yeah, okay" - the angel mellowed quickly, confirming the widely known opinion about the angelic patience.
We were silent for a bit, looking at the blue sky. There was not a cloud. It seemed deeper and more infinite than on the earth. Suddenly, in the loftiest height, a tiny silver airplane flashed. Perhaps it seemed to me? "Rather, it was a flying saucer" - I made a logical conclusion.
I turned to the angel with another pressing issue, but it looked like my time was up. He almost broke me: "I think everything went well" - and he asked busily: "What do you think?"
“It’s just amazing!" - I exclaimed gratefully: "Even too awesome for my imperfect mind, it still can't break it down."
"However, there was a sensation of some unsystematic incompleteness, or something" - I added cautiously, being afraid to offend the man again, I mean, the angel.
"At this time, you got the answers to those questions that troubled you most of all. Of course, if you visited our library ... "- he was about to strike up a favorite song, but, as usual, broke off," But that's for another time, later, later. Let's say good-bye! "- He said warmly," See you next time! "
We embraced cordially, slapped each other on the shoulder. "Well, I am go-oooo ..." - I flew down somewhere at breakneck speed!
I appeared (again appeared!) in a hospital ward. When I opened my eyes, on the right side of my headboard sat Erica. Her dear pretty face was all puffy from crying! Her gaze rested stubbornly on TV on the wall. Her whole appearance showed that she would not budge until her Mom returns!
I looked below. Artie was sitting at my feet. He was whole dusky with upset. But his expression was as stubborn as Erica’s.
"My God! He's got a bad heart! How much suffering I brought to my family! "
Then, my eyes fell even lower in the leg region, and for a moment my heart sank, "Why is the blanket so flat, where my feet should be!?"I twitched slightly, and Erica rushed to me with a cry of joy! Artie – from the other side! They looked as if they had just retreated from the terrible brink
How much happiness and joy! Mommy! Honey, Honey, why do you scare us so much!?
We laughed and cried! "Oh, my dear! How good it is to be with you! How much I missed you! What happiness that I’ve come back to you! "
Between hugs and kisses, I still sneak a glance at my feet again. The feet were there they were supposed to be. "Greetings from the dead? Well, these are your jokes, Angel! "- I muttered to myself.
When the first emotions subsided, Artie said, "Here are guests for you, dear. They have been here with us all night. The boy said that he must meet you. "Artie and Erica parted to the sides and the swarthy boy from the subway came to the bed. He took my hand and said simply, "Thank you for saving my life." Behind him a beautiful woman in a green sari and a short man, apparently, her husband and the boy's father appeared. They thanked me heartily. And I nodded humbly and said it was not at all, it came out on its own, everybody would have done it in my place.
"Unfortunately, we're leaving today," - they said: "We are very pleased that we were able to see you." We said goodbye warmly. The whole family went to the exit...
I was continuing to bask in the love and happiness, when we heard Eva's voice: "Bye, Mom!" I rushed to the sound, and stared between Erica and Artie! It was the boy; he was standing at the door waving goodbye to me. I sighed in disappointment: Obviously, I just misheard "Mom" instead of "ma'am." Then he turned back and said, "See you in the next life!" I met the look of his eyes. These large brown eyes sparkled with laughter, and in depth - the wisdom of the Ages …