If you know, you know.
| the ocean was warm that night.|
it welcomed us in like Grandma.
it smelled of salt and was sweet like your lips.
I remember bear-crawling the shore,
flirting with the waves
my blood running hot
reliving the aggression of a thousand years.
the spiders came quietly
they shifted just around my hands and feet
their eyes radiantly dark,
like a moon soaked in clouds.
I listened to them dance.
panic wanted to seize my body
and for a moment, I caved to it
I sensed their intentions
and in the next moment
I showed them mine.
seconds later I was punching sand.
and then realized the silliness of having such horror
I hadn't laughed so deeply at myself in a very long time.
it was good.
I returned to the chairs and felt time re-running,
skip-jumping or just plain fucking with me.
I had to continue without it.
we sang something, my group and I
or someone sang and the world listened.
later, I remember a hot shower -
shouting in such confined spaces with Raquel
at myself - trying to reel my thoughts in
but in my wild tangent I learned something unabashedly simple
about who William was then.
something that cast more darkness over us that intended.
what followed was loud and lust-y... No,
skip ahead weeks now and I am sitting on a coach
coaxing you to partake with me, gently I would hope
but who am I to be gentle.
after you agreed, I doubled up so that
we, Us, could tumble down the rabbit hole together.
we went for a jog in your neighborhood,
or more aptly we attempted to keep pace withRaquel.
we fell short of that so you taught me to skateboard
and surprisingly, you taught me well -
given our states of being.
at the park a little ways away,
we found a cool bed of grass
that rivaled the most darling of fields.
Hank Hill would be proud of the landscape,
what trailed this discovery was hours of playground antics
have you ever done so many cartwheels, handstands
and dance moves in one sitting?
the whole scene plays like a blur
I just remember the fondness of it all.
the Love behind it all.
sometimes we do things that make us giggle,
sometimes we do things that make us ashamed
sometimes we do things - and in those tiny things
sleeps something momentous - which make us conscious and at peace
with our history, our choices.
and that is Love.
Love. Love, Love, Love, Love.