Kinish Beach Blues (Pt.1 of 4)

Kinish Beach Blues

By: George Reha IV

Ben tapped second gear on his Honda crotch rocket, smiling as the salty beach air whipped his hair around. The sun was just coming up to his left and he could see it flashing by as he rode past the tall hotels. It was his favorite time to ride, just as the day was breaking and the mid summer morning was still cool. There were a few tourists on the sidewalks, getting an early start so they could stake their place on the sand before the crowds start funneling in.

Ben had been living at Huntington Beach for close to 3 years now. He owned a little single wide in a trailer park on 72nd street. It was a smiple life that satisfied him. Bikini clad women littered Huntington, the weather was either gorgeous or dangerous, and his best friend lived on the other side of the bay. John had been his best friend ever since elementary school and they shared everything together. Every Sunday morning they met at the seaside inlet to ride jetskis into the ocean and enjoy the sunrise.

When Ben was in 7th grade, his parents were involved in a 3 car pileup, 4 miles from the school. From what the police could gather, the car in front of his parents car had a teen couple, that were somehow distracting each other. The inexperienced driver suddenly slammed the brake at 50 miles per hour and Ben’s father didn’t have enough time to react. Their car slammed into the rear of the stopped car, sending his father’s head into the steering wheel with such an impact that his forehead was cracked in 3 places, instantly knocking him unconscious. Ben’s mother did not have her seat belt on and the collision sent her up from her seat, through the windshield, and halfway through the teen car’s back glass. There was a pickup truck in back of Ben’s parents car, and that too, ran into the back of Ben’s parents car.

Ben’s father was rushed to the E.R. and pronounced in a coma shortly after emergency surgery put a plastic plate into his forehead. Ben stayed by his father’s bed side for 3 weeks until his heart stopped beating at 2:47 AM., January 12. Ben woke up to nurses rushing in and pushing heavily on his father’s chest. To this day when Ben tries to remember that night, all he could remember was the nurse, in all white, stepping on his foot accidentally and knocking over a flower vase on the bedside table. Ben stared at the broken glass as the medical team ran around, furiously tring to revive his father. Ben didn’t say anything the whole time. Later in therapy, Ben’s psychiatrist explained that he was in a state of shock and his brain couldn’t comprehend what was happening. His brain couldn’t understand losing his parents in such a short amount of time. He said that Ben was in a sort of a dream state from the day of the accident, and the 3 weeks that followed. To this day, Ben couldn’t remember when the school nurse came into his math class to tell him what happened, he couldn’t remember being at the hospital, or even his parent’s funerals.

Around that time, Ben met John. Ben was eating lunch alone when John sat down next to him.

“Are you Ben Brock?”
Ben nodded, staring down at his brown plastic tray.
“I read in the paper what happened to your parents. Sorry, man.”

Ben just stared as his tray.

John put his hand out, “I'm John”
Ben looked at John, and shook his hand. They ate the rest of their lunch in silence.

5 minutes before lunch was over, the local bully, Josh, an overweight redhead with horrible acne, plopped down next to Ben. Ben’s tray still had his chocolate pudding in the little square next to his spaghetti, which he barely touched. Without asking, Josh took his spoon and dipped it into the chocolate pudding, and shoveled it into his mouth. John stood up without saying a word, drew his tray behind him, the contents being thrown on the floor behind him, and swung the tray as hard as he could on the top of Josh’s curly red hair. When the tray connected, what was left on the tray shot up and back down on Ben. Spaghetti and little bits of corn rained over Ben as John repeatedly hammered Josh’s head. Josh let out a high pitched scream, spitting out the pudding on the front of his shirt. He fell backward onto the floor as John then slammed the back of the tray in the middle of Josh’s face, smashing his nose flat and exploding blood out of both nostrils. Several lunch ladies ran to Josh’s aid, snatching the bloody tray out of John’s hands. One of the old women wrapped her arm across John’s body and dragged him away. Ben didn’t even look at Josh’s sprawled body on the floor next to him, but he did look back at John. John’s face was twisted in a fury as he shouted exploits at Josh. Ben didn’t say a word, but his eyes welled up and slow tears rolled down his face.

From that day on, Ben and John could not be separated. It was easy for John to be away from home, he lived with an alcoholic father who was rarely home anyway. His mother left John when he was 8 years old, after his father came home drunk one night and decided to start beating on her. John knew how it was to have no parents and that characteristic alone cemented their relationship. Everyday after school, they would walk home together, back to Ben’s grandmother’s house. John would help Ben with his homework, teach him how to ride a skateboard, or go swimming in the ocean together. They both had no one, but each other.

Some nights they would build a fire on the beach and look into the flames, talking about whatever came into their adolescent heads. Those night talks helped Ben out more than a psychiatrist ever could. John listened to Ben, offering advise when he thought it was appropriate. When the subject of Ben’s parents came up, Ben felt comfortable enough around John to cry in front of him. John never mentioned Ben’s parents, he always waited for Ben to bring it up. When Ben would talk about his mother or his father, his voice would start to stutter, then slowly crack up. John would look over at Ben and see tears start leaking from his eyes. He would get up, walk over to Ben, sit next to him, and just hold him. Ben would bury his face into John’s shirt and let everything go, sobbing and screaming. The orange flames flicker, lighting up John’s somber face and Ben’s head, shaking and flinching with each ratcheting wail.

******

On the ride over to the inlet, Ben thought back to when he lost his virginity.

******

Along with everything else, Ben and John were open with one another about sex, or lack of. When they felt tough, they would sit around that night fire and say filthy things, what they would do to certain girls at their school. At that time, John had a steady girlfriend. With each passing day, the enevitable was bound to happen as John was progressing from kissing, to feeling her, and she was beginning to do things to him. Ben didn’t have a girlfriend, John was the only person he talked to. John had a feeling that if he had sex before Ben, it would push Ben away, make him feel alienated, like he wasn’t as cool as John. Ben was his best friend and he would be damned if he was going to score without his best friend getting laid too.

One weekend John called Ben and said that they were going to have a night fire on Saturday night. This was no surprise to Ben and he agreed. When Saturday came, Ben was the first one at the fire site, and he got the fire started. When the fire was in full force, and the stars were all out, Ben heard footsteps and laughing coming towards the fire. Ben looked past the fire to see John approaching with his girlfriend under his arm. Next to his girlfriend was another girl. Ben recognized her from school, Emma. She was a quite girl who had never said anything to Ben before. The three of them sat down and John pulled out a bottle from his short’s pocket.

“I swiped this from my dad, and saved it for a special occasion.” John said as he twisted off the cap and took a small swig. His face tensed up as he swallowed the sour drink. Both girls laughed at John and covered their faces. “Aghhh, good stuff.”

John passed the bottle to Ben. They had never drank before but he didn’t want to seem like a ninny. Ben took the bottle from John, looked down at it, then back at Emma. Her blonde hair seemed darker against the night sky. She smiled in anticipation. Ben tilted the bottle up and filled his mouth. It burned his throat as it went down, but the bitterness didn’t phase him. He swallowed it without a pause.

John laughed and slapped Ben’s chest, “Big man!”
Ben smiled and passed the bottle to Emma. John got up and pulled at Ben’s shirt, “We will be right back,” and they tripped away from the fire into the night.

John threw his arm around Ben, and when they were away from earshot of the girls John lowered his voice to a whisper, “Hey man, Jessica brought her friend for you.”

Ben looked up at John, “Huh?”
“Look, I know I am going to score with Jess, and you are going to score with Emma.”
Ben looked surprised, “Does…Is….Well…Is she cool with it?”
“Yeah man. Damn. Don’t ask so many questions.”
Ben thought it over and lowered his voice too, “John… I’m…nervous man.”
John took his arm from Ben’s shoulder and leveled with Ben. “Look, there is nothing be nervous about. Just do what we talk about. Remember? And just relax, its supposed to be fun, right?”
Ben nodded and looked back at the fire in the distance. The waves were crashing onto the shore and soaking their bare feet. Ben could see little figures next to the fire, playing around and laughing with each other. The bottle reflected the fire light, like a beacon.
“You ready?”
“Yea, let’s go.”

Ben and John walked back to the fire. The pint was almost empty and the girls were laughing, bumping into each other. They looked up as Ben and John approached. John walked over to Jessica and helped her up. She stumbled a little, letting off a giggle as she fell into John. Without a word, they walked away, leaving Emma and Ben sitting cross-legged in front of the fire. Ben avoided looking at Emma, but he could feel her looking at him. Eventually she got up and sat down next to Ben. Her perfume was carried to his nose by the ocean breeze, making the situation a reality to Ben. He felt like he should say something.

"So... Emma. You lived here all of your life?"

The night turned out to be a success for both of them and Ben was forever grateful for John’s thoughtfulness. It turned out that Emma was as nervous as Ben, maybe more, but everything happened they way it was supposed to. Much to Ben’s surprise, afterwards, he felt relieved. Walking away from the fire that night, Ben and John had wide smiles on their faces, they were now men.

******

Ben flicked on his right turn signal and turned into the parking lot. John, like always, was standing by his black jeep. He had it set up where his top was off of it and the interior was open. A surfboard strapped to the roof, and wet suits in the back seat. Ben buzzed into the parking space next to John and cut the engine.

“Sup, brother.”
“Hey.”
“You ready to hit the water?”
“Yea, I gassed up the ski’s while I was waiting.”
“Right on, let's do it.”

Ben threw his leg up and off the bike, and took the key from the ignition. John reached into the jeep and grabbed the wet suits. As they suited up, Ben could feel the sun already heating up the black asphalt under his bare feet. They slipped on their mesh water shoes and started walking towards the dock.

“You know what I was thinking about on the ride here?” Ben said.
“What?”
“That night we first got laid.”

John let out a laugh and shook his head. “Seems like forever ago, huh?”
“Yea, hard to believe it was about 15 years ago. We are getting close to 30, man.”
“Yea, I know.”

The wake was slapping against the dock and swaying their jet skis. They sat on the skis and started them up. The water rushed from the dark green bay, to the engine, and out the back. John revved the engine as he yelled over to Ben, “last one to Kinish Beach has to buy lunch.”
“Your on, hope you brought your bank card.”
With that, Ben maxed his engine, tipping the front of the jet ski vertically, and ripped through the ice cold tide towards Kinish Beach, about 5 miles away. John just smiled, watched Ben speed away about 50 feet, then thumbed his throttle as far as it would go.

Chapter 1

The bay foam slithered to Ben and John’s feet as they sat with their arms on their knees and toes in the sand. It was their Sunday morning ritual ever since they were old enough to drive. The past couple years have seen a big change in John’s life due to his long time girlfriend, now wife, Rachael having their first child, Caroline. Her 5th birthday was coming up in August, and John was debating what to get her for her birthday when Ben spoke up.

“How is Rachael?”
“She is good”
“Come on, I known you too long. I can tell by your voice, that something is wrong.”

John reached into his wetsuit and pulled out a plastic zip lock bag. He split it open and pulled out a perfectly rolled joint. Setting the bag back in his wetsuit, he put the joint to his lips, and lit it. Ben watched him as he puffed the smoke, inhaled, and blew it out of his nostrils. Taking another hit, he passed it between his two fingers to Ben.

“I don’t know man. It seems like, as Caroline is getting older, me and Rachael... seem to be growing further apart.”

Ben puffed on the joint and let the distinctive taste roll over his toungue. “What do you mean? You guys are about the best couple I ever seen.”

John shook his head, “Its more of a show than anything. Sure, when you are around, or Caroline, we make it seem like we are the happiest married couple this side of Huntington, but when we are alone..” John trailed off, taking the joint back.

Ben had never heard John so down about Rachael. He looked at their jet skis where they left them, run aground on the shore.

John had met Rachael during his Junior year of high school. She was a junior too, and John, being the outgoing guy he was, asked her out one day, right in the middle of their English Literature class. It seemed like love at first sight. Once they started going out, John never pushed Ben aside, much to Ben’s surprise. He just brought Rachael wherever they went. Ben would even ask them if they wanted to be alone sometimes, and John would always speak up and say that it was cool. So most of Senior year, it was Ben, John and Rachael. Whether it was the beach parties on the weekend, or going to the movies during the week, Ben was always invited. For Rachael’s sake, most of the time Ben would say that he was doing something and just see John when Rachael wasn’t around.

When Rachael found out that she was pregnant, John asked her to marry him, and they wed 3 monthes before Caroline was born. It was no surprise when John asked Ben to be his best man. At the time, John and Rachael moved in together in an apartment on 53rd street. It was a 3 room, single story place right on the beach, with a wooden deck overlooking the Oceanside. Ben and John were on the deck, drinking a beer when John spoke up.

“Hey man, I want you to be the first to know. I asked Rachael to marry me”
Ben grinned wide and laughed a loud “Ha! Congratulations man!” He gave John a big hug, slapping his back hard. “It’s about time you settle your ass down, bro”
John laughed with him, “Thanks man. Really. I just thought about it, you know? With the baby coming, and hell, I’m not getting any younger. Why not?”
Ben, still smiling, “Absolutely. Hey,” He touched John’s arm, “Rachael, she is a good girl. I think your making a good choice.”
John nodded and looked down at his feet, “Yea, thanks Ben. Listen. I want you to be my best man.”

Ben didn’t say anything at first. He was thinking about how lucky he was to have a good friend like John. “I can’t”
John’s face instantly broke. He crumpled his eyebrows at Ben. “Why not?”

Ben looked down at the floor. John raised his voice, “Why not?”

“I don’t have a suit.”

Ben smiled as he looked back up, John let a look of relief flush over him, “Of course I will, dumbass. Congrats man.”

A tap on his arm snapped him out of his daydream. John was passing the joint back to him. “Oh”, Ben said, gripping the quarter left between his fingers. The weed was starting to fog his head now and he tried to remember what John said while he was daydreaming.

“So anyway, we barely have sex anymore. When I lay next to her, its like Im lying with a stranger almost. I put my arm around her and no emotion." The John paused. "I think she is cheating on me.”

Ben hit John on his chest with the back of his hand, “Stop it, John. Don’t even think that shit. She is not cheating on you. Rachael wouldn’t do that.”
“Yea? How would you know?”

Ben didn’t have an answer. The joint was beginning to burn his fingertips, so he placed it between his fingernail and thumb, and flicked it. John got up and starting walking inland. Ben got up and followed him.
Looking at John, Ben noticed little things that showed that they were getting older. John’s once flat stomach was beginning to evolve a little bump, his thick black hair wasn’t growing as fast as it used to. The many bumbs and cuts they got from doing stupid things when they were younger were more visable on their legs and arms. Ben noticed his own eyes were looking a little more tired in the mirror, his once long shaggy blonde hair, now cut short.

They walked past the blackened fire pit, nestled in the sand just off of the dunes, where many nights they sat together. Sometimes with Rachael, sometimes with one of Ben’s girlfriends. He saw John looking at the pit as he walked past.

John spoke up, "Remember the nights we would sit here and just talk? God, Life was so much easier."
“What does she say when you talk to her?”
“She never wants to talk about us. She always says, Not in front of Caroline. And she has been going out a lot more than she normally does. She says she is going for drinks with her girlfriends. Bullshit.”

Ben thought to himself that it sounded like a textbook case of her cheating. He had been through it too. But he was never married, let alone a child in the mix. As they walked along the beach, the air grew warmer. It felt so good on his bare chest, like a soft blanket. They had their wetsuits down halfway, tied around their stomachs, getting a tan in the mid-morning sun. Although it was a gorgeous day, the conversation was darkening the sky, like a storm. Ben didn’t like where this was going. As the sand conformed to the arches of his feet, he remembered what happened to the last guy that crossed John and his girlfriend.

Before John had met Rachael, he was dating a girl named Chloe. They had been dating for a few months when John started talking like this. Unlike Rachael, Ben knew that Chloe was cheating. One night, John brought Chloe to one of their beach parties with a group of their friends. Everyone was having a great time, drinking beer, smoking weed around the firepit and John like always, was drinking too much. Eventually he passed out as the party began to thin out. Before Ben knew it, John was sleeping next to him and Chloe was sitting across from them, looking into the fire.

Ben was lying down, on one elbow and sipping a bottle. He had a nice buzz and was enjoying the night air, listening to the fire crackle and pop. Chloe began to converse with him

“So how long have you known John?”
“Since 8th grade.” Ben looked at John sleeping. “He is the best guy I know.”
Chloe was a gorgeous girl. The fire lit up her big blue eyes and her bare chest was sporting a blue bikini top. She had her dirty blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail, with mirrored pink lips. Ben watched her as she stretched out her long tan legs, and leaned back on her hands. She was letting the fire warm the bottom of her feet as she dipped her head next to her shoulder and looked up at Ben. Ben knew that look. He broke the gaze and took another sip. Chloe exhaled exaggerated and looked at John.

“I’m bored. Figures that John passes out on us.”
“Yea, I guess it is getting late. We better pack it up.”
“Hang on.” She whined.

Chloe quietly pushed her feet up under her and got on her knees. She slowly crept past John on her hands and knees, staring at the Ben the whole time, with a little smile. When she got close to him Ben sat up straight and pushed the bottle between them.

“Here, drink while I pack up.”

Chloe took the bottle and instead of drinking it, she ran her tongue around the opening. It was impossible to find her unattractive. Especially with the warm buzz going through Ben, she was very tempting. He watched as she closed her eyes, and let her thick, wet, pink tongue circle the bottle. Slowly moving her head and neck in a way that Ben only seen in porno movies, he felt something in his pants. She lowered the bottle, and flicked her eyebrows up and down at him.

“Want to go to my car for a minute?”

Ben’s chest started to flutter. He imagined what amazing oral she could give and for the first time he was in a debate. A debate of loyalty to his best friend. God, he wanted to. Before he could answer, she stood up quietly with John snoring in the background, and outstretched her hands. Ben looked back at John, then up at Chloe. She was looking at his pants and biting her bottom lip. He held her hands, and she helped him up.

They walked to her car in silence. As the sound of the crashing waves got softer and softer, her car came into view. She parked on one of the avenues, in front of the darknened windows of the Bayrunner Hotel. She pulled the keys out from her cutoff jean shorts and unlocked the car. Ben sat in the passenger seat, and Chloe got in the drivers seat. The overhead light was still on from the doors opening, and as it dimmed out Chloe fumbled for Ben’s zipper .Her hand snaked into his boxers. She leaned in close to Ben’s ear, “Mmmm baby, I want you in my mouth.”

Something snapped in Ben and he painstakingly pulled her hand out of his pants and zipped them back up. Without saying a word, he opened the door and got out. Walking back to the fire, he heard the other door shut and saw Chloe following him. “What? Are you going to tell John?”
Ben turned around and grabbed Chloe’s arms, hard. “Now you listen to me.” Ben gritted his teeth as he hissed. “We are not telling him anything, because we didn’t do anything. You don’t hurt him.”
Chloe seemed surprised by the sudden aggression in Ben, and she nodded, “Okay, Ben, Jesus”
“You hurt John, you will need Jesus.”

Ben realized how hard he was holding her, and he let go. He started walking back across the parking lot and saw a figure approaching them. John was stumbling and rubbing the back of his head. Ben’s heart started to race, he had no idea how much John saw.

“Hey, I was wondering where everyone went.”
“Yea, Chloe was getting ready to leave, so I put some of her stuff in her car. We were coming back to get you.”
“Oh, ok” John looked around Ben at Chloe. “ Hey baby, you okay?”

Ben looked back at Chloe. She had a confused and hurt look on her face. Still, she nodded. “Yea baby. I'm fine. You ready?”

Ben always remembered this because a week after that, John caught Chloe in her car with some other poor guy. John pulled him out of the car, grabbed him by his hair, and slammed his face into the concrete 6 times. It took 3 guys to pull him away. The guy had to have reconstructive surgery for a new nose, both cheek bones, and 5 of his front teeth. Ben figured it was his one get out of jail free card. God or something told him to get out of that car, but he still wonders what would of happened if he didn’t.

“Looks like lunch is on me.” John said. Ben didn’t even realize that they walked back to the jet skis.

“Yea, Gino’s?”
“Sure bro. You lead the way.”

Ben started his engine, and started to worry about the poor soul that could be sleeping with Rachael. He looked over at John. The saltwater was drying on his stubbled face and leaving salty streaks. His eyes were narrowed and his jaw was clenched. John was lost in thought, looking back at the fire pit.

Chapter 2

Tuesday night, John invited Ben to his house for dinner. He said that Rachael was making her specialty, Rotisserie Chicken. At first Ben refused, “Na man. I already called in delivery.”
“Delivery, what Mr. Wongs pork lo Mein? You would rather eat that cat meat than good down home cooking?"
“Its not cat meat, dickhead, and I don’t get pork Lo Mein. I get General Tso's chicken with the shrimp eggroll.”
“Oh yea right. Oh, wait, I have someone that wants to talk to you.”
“No, No don’t put Car…” Ben chased him with his voice.
“Hi Mr.Ben” A slow soft voice came over the line.
Ben exhaled and gritted his teeth. He softed his tone, “Hey honey. How is my girlfriend?"
“Good, mommy’s making chicken tonight and daddy said that chicken is your favorite.”
“Well, your daddy is right. I love chicken, don’t you?”
“Yea. Why haven’t you been over in a while?”
“Well honey, I have been very busy but I was going to see you soon.”
“Tonight?”
Ben hesitated.He could never turn down little Caroline. “Sure honey, Ill see you in a little while.”
“We going to color?”
“We sure are, get the coloring books ready, okay honey?”
“Okay Mr.Ben”
“Okay, put your daddy on for me.”
“Okay”
Ben could hear Caroline call her daddy, and then John’s deep voice came back over the line.
“Yo,”
“You’re an asshole”
“Maybe so, but you are not going to be alone in that trailer another night.”
“I like being alone in my trailer.”
“Just get your ass over here.”
“Yea, Il be there.”

The warm night air was filled with the smell of carmel popcorn, pizza, and saltwater. Ben was in a white beater and blue jeans as he rode down Ocean Gateway. The sun went down about 20 minutes ago and the sidewalks were filling up with clubbers and other patrons of the night scene. Ben passed the neon lights, the parking lots filled with cars. At a red light he balanced the bike between his thighs and sat straight up, stretching his back. Next to him a red convertible with two females were shouting cat calls at him.

“Hey! I like your bike”
“Thanks”
“You want to take me for a ride”
“Sure hop on” Ben smiled, joking with them

The girls laughed out loud as the light turned green and they sped away. Ben smiled and hit his clutch in first gear. John lived on the other side of the bay. The bay that separated Huntington Beach from Kinish Beach, where they grew up. North of Kinish beach was Bayoaks. It was a nice little beach community with lots of kids and families. The ideal place to live. Ben always wanted to live there but couldn’t see himself around all of the happy families and not having one of his own. He just never found the right girl. Ben believed that was all up to luck. You could always be one second too late, or one second too early. Or maybe you could be right on time but in the wrong place. He figured if it is supposed to happen, it will happen, there is nothing you can do to rush it, or force it, you just have to accept it.

Ben had his share of hopefuls. Plenty of girlfriends, but none that he was content enough with to spend the rest of his life. He felt like it should be easy. You get some people that say, you have to work at it, or nothing worth while is easy. That may be right with some things, but not love. Love should be easy. It should be unanioumous, it should be undoubtably. When it is right, there will be no other way.

Ben hit the Hayberry Bridge, riding over the checkered steel, the bike made a hollow drone and the handlebars vibrated in his grip. Coming off of the bridge the front wheel bumped up slightly and then his butt bumbed up shortly after. Now he was on Bayside Highway, riding north, entering Kinish Beach.

He could of rode this way in his sleep. This is where he spent his childhood and he couldn’t think of a better place. The hotels on this side of the bay were a little cheaper, mainly 4 or 5 stories, but still very nice. Each one had a different color neon sign, pink SeaCoast Inn, teal Baycomber Hotel, lime green The Seafoam Inn. Everyone had an in-ground pool, lit up with underwater lights. Palm trees linned the highway and looking up the avenues, toward the beach, he could see cars parked perpendicular to the buildings. It is tourist season so many of the hotels were filled with little squares of dull light, behind a pulled curtain, but in the off season, all of these hotels are dark and deserted.

Ben passed the sign that said, Thank you for visting Kinish Beach”, and another sign that read, “Welcome to BayOaks” with a painting of a white swan. The sky was full on dark now and being away from the main drag, the streetlights were becoming sparse. Ben’s headlight cast a single beam, cutting through the darkness like a yellow dagger. Ben made a left off of Bayside Highway on Bunsen Boulevard. John lived in a two story cottage about a mile of off the highway. Coming up to John’s house, he could see the light on outside the front door. He turned on the paved driveway and parked in back of John’s black jeep and cut the engine.

The house smelled of peppered chicken, so much so that Ben’s mouth watered. The hallway was lined with family pictures. John, Rachael and Caroline holding one another in the snowy mountains, another of the three of them in a water raft. One of Caroline eating a burnt marshmallow by a campfire, smiling with little bits of marshmallow on her face, another of John and Rachael on their wedding day. John smiling from ear to ear in his black tux, and Rachael feeding him a piece of cake in her white wedding gown. As Ben was looking at the photos, Caroline came stamping on the wood floor, into the hallway.

“Mr. Ben!”
“There is my girl.”

Caroline had on light blue jeans that stopped at her calves and a white t-shirt with a flower on it. Her thin brown hair had two pigtails, wrapped with red ribbons. She ran to Ben and he stooped down to pick her up. She wrapped her arm around his neck and gave him a big kiss on his cheek. After, she put her fingers in her mouth and smiled, giggling.

“Thank you honey, I needed that.”

Ben carried Caroline into the kitchen where John and Rachael were finishing cooking dinner. There was a large stainless steel pot on the flat-top stove, along with a few little pots for the side dishes. John was whispering something to Rachael and she was shaking her head as Ben walked up to the counter. John turned around,

“Hey brother, didn’t hear you come in.”

John had on a light blue thermal top and dark blue jeans. Rachael dried her hands on her apron and turned to look at Ben. She was a very attractive woman, thick brown hair, brown eyes outlines in black eyeliner, full lips, her hourglass figure outlined with a while skirt and a black thin strap top, and a creamy beige complexion. Perfectly tanned from the beach sun.

“Hey Ben. How are you?”
“Good Rach, and you?”
"Fine." She leaned towards Ben and they both gave a hug and a peck on the cheek. Ben’s nose was filled with sweet perfume.

Ben could tell by her eyes that she was not good. She had something on her mind. The kitchen got quiet and Ben looked at John, John was looking at the floor, and Rachael was pretending to wipe off the counter with a wash cloth. Finally it was Caroline who spoke up,

“Come on Mr. Ben, color with me.”
“Okay, honey”

Rachael said, “Dinner will be ready in about ten minutes guys.”

Ben picked up Caroline with a grunt and carried her to their spacious parlor where the coffee table was prepared with coloring books and two boxes of Crayloa crayons. As Ben colored in the lines with Caroline, he thought about what John had said, about them putting on a show. It made him look at Rachael and John differently. Now he could actually feel it in the room, it was like a thick cloud, a cloud of indifference and negativity. But only feelings, never verbalized, Ben respected them for that, not wanting Caroline to be exposed to that. Caroline colored a big duck, yellow.

“Oh, that’s beautiful honey.”
“Thanks, I like your frog.”
“Well I learned how to color from you.” Ben gave her a big smile.

“Is your boy Adam coming for dinner?”
Ben smiled as she gave a big yelp.
“I don’t like boys!”
“That’s not what I heard.”
“Boys are dumb!”
Ben laughed, and nodded his head. “Your right honey, we are dumb.”

Ben looked over to see that John and Rachael were back talking in low tones over the stove again. Every few words had a little hand gesture. Ben leaned in close to Caroline and whispered,
“Hey honey, how has your mommy and daddy been?”
Caroline stopped coloring and looked up at Ben, then at John and Rachael. She then whispered back, “They have been fighting.”
Ben nodded sympathetically, “a lot?”
Caroline nodded.

Ben looked down and pushed his lips to the side, thinking hard. He looked back up at Caroline.
“Caroline, sometimes grown-ups have to work some things out, but don’t ever think that anything is your fault, okay?”
Caroline continued coloring, and nodded.
Ben tapped on her hand with his finger, “Hey”
Caroline stopped coloring, and looked up. Ben made sure to make eye contact with little Caroline.
“Okay?”
Caroline looked Ben back in the eyes, and nodded. “Okay”
“Come on honey, lets go get some food.”

Caroline set her yellow crayon down and walked over to Ben. It surprised him when she wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed him tight. In that moment, it made Ben want a child of his own, he felt alone in the world. Then happiness filled him. This little girl was so innocent, unaware of the realities of life that everyone has to eventually face. The things that he had seen, he had heard, he wished that he could protect her from any bad thing in the world. Ben guessed that was what being a parent felt like. Wanting to protect your child from the inevitable things that everyone must experience. Ben wondered why life had to be like that, why cant we just sit and color, forever? Ben patted Caroline on the back, but she didn’t loosen her grip. Ben almost felt like crying. It would have been the first time he would of cried in a long time. He wrapped his arm around her and returned her hug.

With Ben sitting on the floor, and Caroline standing in front of him with her arms around his neck, they hugged for a good minute. Perhaps it was their way of communicating without talking, or just blocking out all the bad things in their life, just for a little while. John stood silently, partially blocking himself behind a wall, watching Caroline giving Ben a big hug. When they finally split, Ben stood up and took Caroline’s hand and turned to walk to the kitchen, and John disappeared behind the wall.

Rachael set up dinner on the back deck. There was a tempered glass table with four white dinner plates and 4 bowls of food in the middle. The chicken looked splendid, a rich dark tan, a bowl of mashed potatoes, flimsy green beans, and brown baked beans. The table was illumined by three red, fat candles letting off a soft glow. Ben sat at one end of the rectangle table and Caroline sat across from him. John and Rachael filled out the rest of the seats. The dinner conversation was upbeat, mainly about what Caroline wanted to do this coming week, about John’s side projects, particularly him fixing up a vintage car. Once everyone finished eating, Ben was the first to get up and collect the plates.

“Ben, your our guest. Sit down.” Rachael protested.
“Rach, please. You cooked this excellent meal, the least I can do is help clean up.”

With that, Ben collected the plates and took them in the kitchen. As he scrapped off the remaining food in a plastic container, Ben heard the sliding glass door open. He looked up to see Rachael walk in and shut the door behind her. Ben continued to clean the plates and put them in the dishwasher.

Rachael walked over to the refrigerator. “You know, Caroline has got a heart for you.”

Ben felt somewhat relieved that was what she wanted to talk about.

“Well, the feeling is mutual. You two are very lucky to have her.” Ben said, still cleaning the plates.
“Every night, she asks if your coming to dinner. We have to tell her, that you have a life too.” Rachael let off a little laugh as she sipped a small glass of white wine.
Ben looked sideways at her and smiled, shaking his head. “Na, not much of one.”

Rachael took one of the plates and started clearing it off.

“I was thinking the other day, remember all of those times in high school, it was always me, you, and John. God, we had fun. We didn't have a care in the world.”

Ben smiled and shot out a breath, “Yea.”
Ben noticed a slight hint of sadness in her eyes, John was right, something had changed. Ben felt like he had to say something.
“Hey,”
Her eyes connected with his, she was waiting for him to say something.
“Rach, What's up. We known each other for a long time. I can sense something is off.”
Rachael bit her lip and looked down. Taking a deep breath, she looked back at Ben, then up and away, and Ben could see that her eyes were beginning to water. She opened her mouth and said “Ben, I..”

The sliding glass door opened, startling the both of them and they went back to cleaning the dishes. Ben shot a quick look, hoping it was Caroline. John was looking over at them, suspiciously. Ben put the last plate in the dishwasher and washed his hands in the sink. John’s heavy footsteps crossed the kitchen and to the refrigerator. He opened it, Ben could feel his eyes on him, glass clinked around, and John put a green bottle of beer in front of Ben. Ben raised his eyebrows to look at John, and he nodded towards the beer. He took the beer and followed John out to the deck. Before walking out the sliding door, he looked back. Rachael was looking at him, biting the inside of her cheek, she looked down and turned back towards the sink.

Caroline sat on her father’s shoulders, her hands on top of his head, as they walked down the deck stairs and onto the sand. Ben followed close behind, sipping on his beer. The crashing of the waves became louder as they walked on their little sliver of sand. It was no Kinish Beach, but it was quiet and comfortable. John sat down in the damp sand, and let Caroline off his shoulders. She ran down by water where the tide was lapping slowly, in and out. Ben sat next to John. Both of them had their pants rolled up below their knees and they sat, nipping their beers, looking at the moon, which was as bright as a setting sun. There are fewer sights more mesmerizing than a full moon, casting its reflection off of a dark ocean. The dark water looked like a sea of black, with a thin strip of white coming from the moon.

No one said a word, until footsteps were heard behind them. Neither one turned to see who was coming and a body sat down next to John. Rachael was already halfway through her beer. The three of them, sitting together, just like the old days. But now, instead of watching a fire, they are watching a beautiful 5 year old, playing in the moonlight.
Ben quickly finished his beer.
“Well, It’s getting late. I guess I should be heading back.”
“Where are you going” John asked monotone, still staring ahead.
“Home." Ben answered quickly, "I'm going home”
“Sit down Ben, Come on.” John looked up at Ben, and gave his old familiar smile. Ben could see Rachael behind John, she was looking up at him too.
“Well, I guess I can stay for a little while.”

Ben didn’t like this. He didn’t like the way it felt. The two people that he felt the closest too, he felt like they were strangers. It wasn’t the same, he didn’t know exactly what it was, but something was different.

Out of the corner of his eye Ben could see Rachael draining the last of her beer. She got up and walked down to Caroline, hugged her, told her something, and gave her a kiss. Caroline continued playing in the sand, and Rachael walked back up to Ben and John.

“Well honey, its Tuesday. Me and the girls are meeting up at Red Hot’s for drinks. I won't be long.” Rachael bent down and waited for John to turn his head for a kiss, when he didn’t, she gave him a peck on the cheek. Standing up she looked at Ben, “It was really good seeing you, Ben.”

Ben nodded once, “Same here” He gave her a concerned look that she caught before she left. He watched her walk back to the deck, up the steps, and into the house. Caroline ran up to her daddy.

“Mommy is going out again tonight?”
John sighed and ran his hand in her hair, pushing it behind her ear, “Yea, honey. Mommy is going to see her friends for a little while. She will be back later.”

Chapter 3

Before Ben started up his bike, he sat and looked at John’s house for a moment. In every window there was a single electric candle letting off a dull yellow shine. Ben sat straight up and started his engine. He could tell that a rain had just fell. The concrete was still warm enough to evaporate the water and the dampness hung heavy. Beads of sweat started on his forehead before he even got out of the driveway.

As he passed the streetlights, he would look up at them and see a fog surrounding the glow. The air passing through his hair was thick, but kept the sweat away. He made the right onto Bayside Highway to go back home. As he passed the place where there firepit was on Kinish Beach, he looked over down the avenue into blackness. Maybe they were the only ones who ever used that pit. Ben began to think about the what Rachael was going to tell him before John came in. She wanted to tell him something.

Once he got on OceanGateway the crowds got larger. He could see lines outside of the hipster clubs. Drunk patrons strumbled out to their cars. Ben smiled as he passed by. In the distance off to his right, a deep red neon shone through the fog. As ben got closer he could see that the sign read, “Red Hot, Bar and Grill”. He debated in in head whether he should get involved in this. What if he did find out that she cheating on John, what would he do? Ben then thought if he even wanted to know.

Ben was one of those people that was content on not knowing certain things, even if they seem like they need to be known. Ben lightly squeezed his brake and slowed as he turned into the busy parking lot. Red Hot was a local bar that brought in some big crowds. The bar boasts having a live raggae band every Tuesday night. Ben had dropped by the place once or twice, but he preferred the rock and roll bars. He found a parking space close to the door, where a few toasted teens were having a smoke outside the door. Despite the large revenue that Huntington gets from tourists, the nightclubs were notorious for being very strict with underage drinking, but that didn’t stop the teens from trying to get in.

Ben took his key from the ignition, slid it in his pocket and walked passed the smoking teens.

“Hey man, we have a twenty if you can get us a few drinks?” One of the guys said as Ben walked past. Ben stopped and turned around. He looked at the three of them. Two boys and a girl. The guys sported surfer haircuts, curly around the ears and shagging in their eyes. The girl, who was holding a cigarette, blew the smoke up and away from her long straight brown hair.
“Ill see what I can do”, with that Ben turned and opened the wood and glass door.

The bar radiated the funky Raggae music and was standing room only. People were holding their drinks in their hands and talking loudly over the music. Ben looked in the middle of the room, for the bar. Every seat was taken, but he still approached the bar and up to the bartender.
“Johnny walker.”
The bartender yelled back at him, “Red or black?”
“Red.”

The bartender, a middle aged man with a long ponytail then went to the other side of the bar to get the drink. As Ben waited, he looked around the room. The floor was almost dark besides the faint lights overhead the small square tables close to the windows outlining the pub. There was also a mix of red, green, and yellow stage lights whipping over the crowd. There was a few black man with long dreadlocks on stage playing impressive raggae beats. Everyone seemed to be having a great time around him.

The bartender cam back with the drink, and slid it in front of Ben. Ben paid the man and took a long sip of the burning medicine. He closed his eyes and felt the fire down his throat, through his chest, and finally at his core. He didn’t realize how much stress being at John’s really brought him. As the room got a little blurry, the music seemed to radiate through him now. A slim blonde stood next him, and yelled her order to the bartender. She looked over at Ben, who was smiling, looking down at his drink, bobbing his head to the beat.
“Hey!”
Ben seemed to wake up and look over at her. The first thing he noticed was her earrings. They were long black cut stones, dangling and catching the light. Hypnotizing him almost. They really brought out her face, the black against her pale, but pretty skin. Her pink thin lips parted slightly to form a smile as she looked him over. Her blonde hair was pulled back in the front, but hang at the sides. She was a sexy woman.
“Hey”
“Whats your name”
“Benjamin” he held out his hand, “Benjamin Brock”
“Sarah,” she then shook his hand. Her fragile, damp hand felt small in his grip, “Sarah Roberts”
“Nice to meet you Sarah Roberts”, the smile on Ben’s face made her smile.
“Are you alone?”
This question made Ben think. He thought about if he really was alone. Every night he retired to his trailer in the court, and watched tv until he fell asleep on the couch. Most nights he would order out, either at Mr. Wongs Chinese take-out, or Bobby’s Pizzeria. He spent most of his days on the beach, watching families take their kids into the ocean to swim, or on the boardwalk, watching couples, hand in hand, visit the various shops and attractions. Ben spent many days on the boardwalk bench, just watching life happen before his eyes.
“Yea, yea. I am here by myself.”
“You don’t say”, she watched him as she tipped her glass and drank a pink icy drink, with a green umbrella coming out of the top.
Ben cracked a smile enough to let out a little laugh. “Yea, it’s a shame huh.”

*******

Little did Ben know, that in less than 12 short hours, he would experience love, the murder of one of his close friends, the ensuing detective, and a little addition to his life.