part one: your first opponent for celeb feet karate is Ryan Reynolds.
|Manly; if you had to describe Ryan's feet in one word, it would defiantly be manly. |
long toes, wide soles, a little veiny, so muscular, what's not to like?
you were to be the opponent for a number of male celebs to fight you for charity, there is only one rule: they must use their feet
to beat you. this is where Ryan Reynolds comes in, your first opponent.
when the match begins Ryan wears a white gi, you wear blue. the bell rings and you get into fighting stance, he does the same.
you start by throwing a punch, he blocks with ease and brings his sweaty foot up for a swift kick to your face. the first time he does this, you hardly notice the pain because of the pungent stink of the heart-throbs feet, but upon the second kick, you hear a sickening crunch and your nose is in agony you reel back to cradle your face in your hands, before you look up just in time to see Ryan jump up and deliver a powerful spin kick to your chest. you hit the floor in agony and Reynolds delivers a killing smile before he places his 10.5 foot on your chest and keeps you pinned there for 10 seconds.
the bell dings, which means you have to do what all losers of the match do;
Ryan laughs and puts his big, sweaty,smelly foot in your face before giving one command: lick
you sigh and begin to lick all the dirt and sweat off off the hunks strong feet.
"how strange" you thought "to be licking the sole that broke my nose a few moments ago..."
Ryan gets cocky and starts to rub his foot all up and down your face, forcing you to inhale to strong cheesy stink of his bare foot, he then starts to twist and grind his smelly sole into your broken nose. you scream in agony.
he carries on hurting and humiliating you under his stinky foot for a while, before he holds his sole (now covered in your blood) up to your mouth and commands you once more to lick, you obey and immediately regret it as you taste the disgusting mixture of your own blood and the dirt and sweat on Ryan's feet.
the first match finally ends when Ryan's feet are clean, though it doesn't do much for the smell and you have to resist the urge to gag on the cheesy stink of Ryan's foot, you fail and the last thing audiences at home see before the program cuts out is you gagging on Ryan Reynolds foot sweat.
Join us next week the announcer says, for Chris Evans.