You Don't Scare Me
"What are you doing in my kitchen?!" Shelley held a wooden spoon up to the man crouching behind the table.
"Uh, uh,.." he stuttered, eyes watching the spoon get closer to his face.
"Are you a robber? Cause let me tell you, you're at the wrong house, buddy. There's NOTHING worth stealing. You think I'm scared? Well, think again. You don't scare me! I'm a mother of twins who are now seventeen. And if ANYONE has been to h-e- double hockey sticks and back, it's a parent of twins, not to mention twin girls!" She was now poking the man in the chest. "From day one, when one wasn't crying, the other one was; something that HASN"T CHANGED!
"Um, well...." he stuttered again and started crawling toward the door.
"Get back here! Now you have to come here, interrupt my sleep, the first real good night's sleep I have had in SIXTEEN years. And that was a DARN good dream I was having. So I'm the one who should be scaring you, buster! Now don't get me wrong, I love my girls, but after sixteen years, I start to want a bit of sleep, you know?"
The interloper nodded, now afraid to move.
"Are you thirsty? Need a drink? Well, I sure do. Let's have some hot chocolate, what do you say?" Shelley microwaved some water, got down two mugs. She used the wooden spoon to stir chocolate powder into the hot water. "Don't you move!" she said as she passed down his mug. "Let's see, where was I?"
The frightened robber pulled a cell phone from his pants. He dialed 911, watching Shelley from the corner of his eyes. He spoke softly into his phone, "Please! You've got to help! This lady really scares me!"