Just Leave

Don't
be
afraid
to
leave

i h a v e t o l e a v e
mk (please don't leave)
that's fine (why do you have to go)
f o r i n e e d t o c o m p l e t e m y p r o j e c t
that's totally fine (I don't want you to leave)
s o r r y b y e
you can go (just x out of here then. X out of this chat. Leave me like everyone else has. Why not?)
b r o
y o u s u r e
yeah jeez if you have homework then go (I'm probably bothering you anyway)
y o u s e e m l i k e y o u w a n t m e t o s t a y
well do what you want to do I'm not partial either way I guess (stay stay stay but if you're going to go then just leave me to my misery)
d u c e s t h e n


I'm rethinking.
I'm rethinking.
I'm rethinking, I swore I wouldn't rethink.
I swore I would stop it, that I wouldn't anymore, and even if it was just an oath to myself I intended to keep it.
I told myself that I had friends, that I was still someone people wanted to be with, that I could live with.
I made myself a motto. Not the last one.No rethinking my decision. I can live like this, more than half a life, more than almost committing to what I knew the few people left for me wouldn't want me to do.

One by one, they left.
Left me to myself. Left me to my thoughts. Left me to the scars that I can't admit to everyone I have, inner and outer.

And if they return I can't decide whether to reach out or collapse in.
And if they ask I can't decide whether to tell or keep it all secret.

I'm rethinking it.
I'm rethinking it all.
Don't be afraid to leave like everyone else has.
It'll probably be easier for you that way when I finally give up.