by Dr Gonzo
The first thing I wrote I thought might be good. And it began this journey.
I have just emerged from a dark tunnel.
My eyes were shocked at how brightly the light shines.
For three years, I had only seen that light, as at first a tiny pinpoint,
So far away, that at times, I thought,
Why am I pushing forward towards something so distant,
It could be years before I see that which my heart so desires.
But, I would not be stopped by fear.
In fact, the only fear I had during those dark days, was of failure.
Because to fail, would be to let down the two I love most in this one life I have been given.
So...I put one foot in front of the other.
Some days it was easier than others,
Especially when those girls smiled at me, with all the love and joy they feel, when I look at them and smile.
I didn't think of my heart.
It was a shattered mess.
Tangled and torn to shreds,
By a love that was so hot, it would melt skin,
And so cold, nothing that touched it could survive.
I had to learn who I was again.
I had lost myself in a place that knew no mercy.
That saw tears as weakness...and forgiveness as defeat.
Cold steel walls, impenetrable by one so lost,
Would never yield to my embrace again.
Then, as I felt the warmth of that glow so high,
I had thoughts of hope.
That I might deserve to feel love again.
To be more than just a father.
To be that which I know I am,
A man, who has come in from the cold, looking for a place to rest...
And to just be.