by Bruce Myers
A comedic take on my school experience. Profanity possible.
Before you read this, I'd like to warn you that there will be profanity and some aggressive comedy through out this, so no young babies or teenagers unless you feel you are brave and are a big man who can handle hearing the F-word and some other...names. Let's begin!
Hello. I am Bruce Myers, a high school freshmen. I enjoy high school and I am excited to see what they offer to me and what my future will hold thanks to a little number that has a name...GPA. It is very fucking important and is a big deal. They want you to have a 4.0, but I find that impossible for myself. But some kids can do it, so congrats!
You know what? College is weird. I don't know everything about the college experience, but I feel that college is just High School: Part 2: Were Adults Now? Also, I want to say this, but I am not sure if going to college right after high school is an amazing idea, as my parents have said, "I went to college, but I've got with my love of my life, were divorced now, and I had some sex and Boom! a baby!" It is quite common for that to happen...to your parents. Who knows, maybe it's intentional so they can get you to actually try in school because you MIGHT complete college. I was thinking you should go to college a couple years after high school, so you can have your babies, maybe get a babysitter, then head out to college.
Now, your first college tip is to try and find one in your area you like. Like none of them? Fine, go to crazy Texas or the fuckin' paradise of California. Actually, let's call it the land of fire. There's been a lot of forest fires down there and it isn't fun. Oh yeah, there's heat waves too! The sun is talking to you, saying: Fuck you. Just screw you. It's not my fault, I'm just high on that heat and I want to make the world as happy as I am so here, 120 degrees Farenheit. Good luck!
Anyways, LET'S TALK ABOUT SCHOOL!
LET'S START WITH ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. IT WAS QUITE GREAT FOR YOUNG BRUCE. HAHA BRUCE, YOUR BONES LOOK LIKE PENIS, damnit!
Let me get this straight...southern kids are weird. A lot of them are exposed to a lot of things, like porn, memes...cum. You know, it's great that the children of today know what cum is, aka sperm, aka white stuff. I was mostly an innocent boy and I still am. I don't expose myself to that shit often because I don't want to become the annoying kid because all I do is recreate memes and talk about cum.
Most of the kids in elementary school I saw or knew were all either dicks or actual nice people because they would make me look stupid or not even try. How did they get to high school or even middle school? These kids were partial brainlets but I probably thought of it that way because of the fact I had superpowers and payed attention and was smart. You can all get to a point where you are like me, but it would take some effort and different thinking so that you can get to that point.
Some of the kids were the big bullies who bullied people and made them look like shit. I was bullied, but not often because I didn't talk a lot because I did what they would expect of a typical student. I studied, read, payed attention. I had some friends. One of them was a boy who was like trigger happy and was practically a girl once I entered the 6th grade. By the way, the elementary school went up to 6th grade. It was halfway through 6th grade I entered a county school and so the middle school journey began....
MIDDLE SCHOOL! DO YOU LIKE CAPS LOCK? Middle school was a big change because of...Band. I love band. I loved the concept, but I done it one year in 6th grade but didn't do so well because the teacher didn't teach shit. I had a clarinet without the thumb ring, so I couldn't really hold it properly. Some days were suffering, others were fun. I personally enjoyed the class, but I came to middle school and I wanted something else that was my secret talent.
I asked about switching over to percussion, full. One of the directors took me in and realized, "This kid needs something else! Something big...something loud...something low. A euphonium!" So, there began the journey to the ultimate euphonium player, the best player, the only player. I got into a lot of stuff in my band time. I got into All-Star Band, Mid-State, All-County, you name it.
How did that happen, ladies and gentlemen?
1. I had a talent. I could play that thing good and that meant it was a natural talent. My first year was insane.
2. I practiced. I asked for help when I needed. I followed my director's advice.
You have to try to succeed, you have to challenge yourself to get better, or you won't. I practiced my scales, music, became more specific with what the music wanted...you have to be dedicated and want to do what you do.
There's also friends. Everyone in the band is nice and respectful and they'll become your closest friends in the end because they have the same passion you do. They want to be as successful as you are and even better. That's it for that.
I hope you enjoyed this little comedic deal. Who knows? I might add more to this in the future when I advance in high school, but I hope your experience is as great as mine was, because it was a damn train wreck.