Flash Fiction |
Talking the Talk I walk around my house trying to picture it from a stranger’s perspective. I’m putting it up for sale. “This is crazy,” I say out loud, “I’ve lived here all my life!” That actually irritates me. I try so hard not to talk out loud, but when you live alone in a huge house... well, this is one of the reasons I need to sell it. I am obviously alone too often... It isn’t just talking to myself out loud. I’ve been known to have lively conversations with my dog, who has passed on however. I also talk to the mice (need to get rid of those mice...) but worse! Inanimate objects! I apologize to furniture I bump into... I rotate my glassware so every glass ‘gets it’s chance’ to be used... I have an ongoing disagreement with my vacuum cleaner. I have been known to actually swear at it when it gets stuck, or heaven forbid, sucks up the edge of the rug! And then, I have heated conversations with tangled cords. I have been known to rip their little ends practically off when they refuse to untangle! But I digress... I need to sell my house, I need an apartment somewhere. I need to live near people. It’s not that I’m so fond of people. Though, not fond of the amount of work, I’ve read, to get a house ready to sell. But the biggest issue is the talking. This morning I apologized to my sponge because it was falling apart and I had to let it go in favor of a new sponge. My sponge! This can’t be good... My kitchen table seems not to have an opinion... well, pffft, I get it, it knows it’ll go with me when I move. Time to call the realtor... |