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by Jimbo
Rated: 13+ · Poetry · Inspirational · #2289950
A love poem in iambic pentameter, mostly-ish.This deserves a 1 rating so do your duty.
I yearn to be with my true love,
She sours soars through my heart like a dove.
Not like the mourning dove, they suck.
Crapping all over my new truck.
Like Moses and the holy ghost.
More spiritual I think I mean.
Anyway, just forget that part.

What was I saying? Eh, screw it.
So, like my girlfriend died I mean.
Not really like in the for reals.
But like dead to only just me.
(She's a lying, cheating whore who slept with my best friend, and my brother, and two of my exes and even that creep that works at the Circle-K and I think my pastor but not 100% sure on that yet. Also, this is not part of the poem just trying to explain it better and stuff.)
It's not like I went and shot her ass.
She deserved it and all but I
Really miss her and need her back.

Cupid really screwed it all up,
Hitting me at Clem's BBQ.
Knocking me into that waitress,
Spilling baked beans all down her dress.
I think he meant to hit Cody Knox
All handsome sitting behind me.
His daddy owns the Local Ford
Dealership and runs lots of ads
On the radio,but that don't mind
None anyway 'cause I'm over on lines.

So even though my love is lost,
It leaves my heart laden with frost
Like cold and dead and stuff like that.
Yes, though she was a cheating bitch,
That I hated like my jock-itch.
I think now it was all me that screwed up,
And threw away a buttercup (Reeses King Size).

I wonder who else would have me,
Even my dog don’t really care.
I’m kinda short and mostly fat.
And could use more showers-hazmat (GOOD ONE!)
I should have looked over all her faults,
And drowned my sorrows in Schlitz malts.
Or Colt 45 would be cool.

I’m not sure what else I can say.
I’m sad and sad but mad at bae,
And now I wish she would have stayed.
Being lonely sucks shih tzu balls,
(she had one and it was a demon dog that always barked at me or bit me, that is when it wasn’t licking itself, nasty little shit.)
Left alone and staring at walls.
So, if you see my one true love,
(69 South Nympho Drive, just past the holiness church, behind that brand new ABC store and next to Buddy’s Pawn Shop - love that place - and just kidding about the address but she does behind the ABC in a trailer out back.)
Tell her come home back to me please.

I may not be tall and handsome.
I may not be your Prince Charming.
But I will always work for you,
And I will always treat you right.
I will cook and clean and wash clothes,
And make potted meat sandwiches.
Whatever it takes for you to love me back and stuff.

So, Cupid rhymes with polluted,
Which makes sense 'cause my life is shit.
Now I’m thinking I should have rhymed all this ffs! Balls deep bullsit! Sorry, I'm done I think.

         -THE END-

60 lines but only 55ish really count I think, idk.
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