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Rated: E · Fiction · Fanfiction · #2292499
They all had decided to perform a small gift for Stays on Christmas.
The building passes by as Chan stares out of the van’s window with an unfocused gaze, clearly worried about his lover but he also knows their work is more important than anything at this point, the future of seven lives along with his is at stake. Here in the industry debuting was one big obstacle that they overcame but staying in the industry is the real struggle. If he doesn't work hard enough and doesn't produce good enough work they could still think that stray kids is not worth it and turn them all to dust, half of his life effort and the member’s effort will in go down in drain just because he didn't work hard therefore he can't risk slacking now or enjoy the pleasure of a day to himself and as their leader he has to give his thousand percent to this, it's one of his constant fear, all the members are working hard but somehow Chan is even more busier than all of them, especially with their board members breathing on his shoulder to complete a whole-ass album which they’ll be releasing half of it by June. Chan is under a lot of pressure. It's very stressful and he knows they can’t get much time off. He just hopes that the manager understands and doesn't get too angry with a little change to today's schedule.
Changbin, who was sitting next to the leader, sees him lost in his thoughts and nudges him.
“ don’t worry hyung. He’ll be alright“. Changbin assures the leader, unknown to the thousand other thoughts going wild in his brain.

They reach the company and everyone gets to the recording studio, Chan immediately informs their manager about Felix's condition which brought a concerned look to the older but he didn't also look very pleased with it. He told Chan to relay his message to Felix, to get well soon and back to work sooner, to which Chan thanked the manager and promised to inform the younger.
They all went to their respective work. Chan went to his office to collect some of his files, laptop and drive that consist of all the tracks they’ll be recording today and goes back up to the studio to start their day. It was still quite early, only 9:10 in the morning. He hopes he could complete it all soon and go back to Felix on time.

Time skips and Chan could hardly find any time to even take a break and one of his meetings was too long and too frustrating that left him all exhausted. By the time the clock struck 3 and Chan was done with his recording, he starts to wrap his stuff and Changbin takes the command over the recording chair, but soon one of their manager comes in and inform him of another meeting, Changbin was quick to jump up and tell them he could do it but they especially asked for chan.
“ Uh umm no problem, it's okay, I can. the sooner I go, the sooner it’ll end.” Chans tells them all.

But alas the work keeps piling on, that by the time Chan got a little break it was 7 pm already and he was far from being done. He rubs his eyes and pulls out his phone smiles at the lock screen picture of him cuddling Felix on couch with berry in Felix lap, it was the sweetest memory he had and couldn’t get enough of looking at it so he added it his wallpaper, he pulls up his chat with Changbin and messages him privately, that’ll he’ll be late today and can't make it back by the dinner time and ask to take some soup take-out for Felix.
Chan let out a frustrated sigh before going back to work.
“Lord help me “ he mutters silently.

……………………………………
BACK AT DORM
……………………

Felix wakes up to a dead silent house and a dark room with a hint of light coming from the lobby. he feels tired and disoriented and doesn’t remember much
“Where is everyone? Why didn’t anyone wake me “ Felix crocks out before sitting up and he stretches his hand out to search for his phone, which was lying on his left side, with a clammy and tired hand Felix opens his phone the brightness makes him scrunch his eyes and nose, he tries peeking at the light again to adjust and almost drops the phone when he sees the time.
“shit! It’s 5 pm? How can I miss the whole day? Oh my god Chan hyung would be so mad at me !fuck!!.`` Felix shrieks and hurriedly throws the cover to his side and stands up only to fall down with a thump.” ahh damn!!”.
Before he could even try to get up again his phone started ringing. It was Binnie hyung. Felix complexion pales a little seeing his hyung’s number blaring at his phone he struggles to sit up and stretches to the other side of the bed to retrieve his phone and picks up the call ignoring the current going through his phone..
“Hello Changbin hyung!”
“ hey lix how ar-”
“ I'm so sorry hyung, i didn’t knew it was this late, I'm so sorry “ Felix rambles over Changbin’s voice
“lix-”
“I'm so sorry I'll come by the company as soon as possible”
“Felix-”
“I can still record right, I j-just so s-sorry hyung please don't be mad at me-e, I'll get ready-”
“FELIX” Changbin raises his voice and stops the rambling on the other side of the phone.

“ good. Now no one is angry at you or upset okay, let's clear that. You were sick therefore Chan hyung told you to rest, do you really not remember?” Changbin assures the boy quickly before he could throw himself into a panic attack.

The silence lasted for a few seconds before the voice picked up again, “I… I just , now that you mentioned I think I remember the morning when i was sick in the bathroom '' Felix closes his eyes as if trying to remember the event more clearly, trying to grape as he hadn't seen it all happen in his dream.

“ Now, did you just wake up? Or did I disturb you from your sleep?”

“ yes and no I woke up few minutes ago and i guess my leg felt asleep so couldn't get up and thought i missed the whole day of practice”

Felix continues” I can still come hyung, I feel okay, in fact much better after the rest”

“Absolutely not, you got the day off, make the most of it kid and rest up well for tomorrow, I don't think even Chan hyung can hold the manager nim for longer. Felix chews on his lip and with a worried expression.

As if sensing the worries of the younger Changbin tries to distract him and says “ have you not seen the messages in the group yet? Hyunjin and Han are being so over dramatic crying like kids about missing you. They've spammed the group chat”
“ haaa they are so extra but i already miss them!” Felix smiles at the mention of his over dramatic brothers.
“Anyway most of us will be back at home in a few hours, and unfortunately Chan hyung will not be back before so do you want anything?” Changbin enquires.

“ I don't really feel like eating hyung..” Felix replies in a small voice

“Okay I'll bring something on my way and you should be resting when I come back to the dorm understand?” Changbin concludes with a commanding voice.

“Yes hyung, have a nice day or evening and stay safe bye.”

“You too kiddo, bye “ Changbin ends the call.

Felix takes his phone and goes through all the messages and smiles at the pictures in the chat. He doesn’t reply fearing he might disturb and distract others with it. He sits on the bed leaning forward elbow on the knees. He cards his finger in hair , feeling all the sweat and grease making it sticky. He decides to take a long bath to help him relax more.

Felix stands up still feeling a little tired and light headed but thinks a shower might clear his head. He takes a change of clothes and heads to the bathroom. He strips and puts the clothes in a hamper and eases himself into the bathtub. He washes himself up, until he stops at his calf muscles he feels some small stiff spots on his muscles.

“Oww” he pokes it, Felix thought he must have not stretched properly before practicing, he found the same patches of achy muscles in few other places of his body.
He continues to bathe and feels much better and refreshed.

“Maybe it was just stress mixed with a little flu” he mumbles to himself before getting out of the bath and puts on a clean pair of clothes and comfy yellow socks that had a bokkari drawing etched on it.
He returns to his room and sees a platter by his bed table which immediately reminded him of Minho hyung as he is the one who always worries for everyone like mother and this can only be his work, he smiles at it and makes a mental note to thank the elder for this gesture.
He was drinking the water, when he saw his personal manager calling him.

“Hello hyung!” he answers

“What is this disrespectful behavior Felix? Why are you not at the photoshoot? It's been like 3 hours. Do you know how hard it was for me to get this gig? ” his manager rants out.

“Hyung nim I was sick so Chan hyung told me to rest “ Felix tried to tell the older man but was cut off by the other line.
“ oh so now you are slacking off, do you know how hard everyone is working for this album and you are taking days off with such petty excuses like this do you wanna bring everyone down along with your laziness grow up Felix!”

”I'm s-sorry h-hyung” Felix replies, holding back his tears.

“ your sorry doesn’t matter the loss for today, I'm gonna schedule u up for tomorrow be present here on time understands?” the man asked sternly.

“ yes hyung and I'm sorry..” was all Felix could say before the line went dead without any ending greetings..

Felix sat at the foot of the bed with a hot tear dripping down his face, unknown to everyone else, it's not the first time his managers had talked to him like this, he had always been cold to Felix but for some reason his manager's words hurt him more than ever right now as it was not on his hand he got sick. He always envied the other member’s whose managers were all kind and always attentive to them, he has seen many a time how close Jisung is with his manager his manager always lets Jisung cuddle him and always takes care of him and but his manager for some reason doesn't like Felix much and only behaves nicely with everyone else present, he still not used to it though. Maybe his manager was right he is just bringing down his team, he isn't a very important member of the band anyways, Felix minds starts spiraling down the hole and he finds himself lying down on the bed, thinking about all the things that might make him even sadder and cries till his heart content and till all his insecurities was washed down in form of tears he made vow to himself that no matter what he’ll work harder he doesn't want to be the reason the drag his team down or slow them, he’ll work till he makes everyone happy with his efforts as he lays there sobbing the last of the tear out, the outburst must have tired him out and lulled him to sleep cause when he opened his eyes, he felt a comforter around him and a finger playing with his hair as someones talks very softly to someone, it must be on phone call because Felix could only hear to one side conversation and some very vert distant murmur
of the makane in the living room apart from that the room was silent.

“Yes hyung, he's fine, he doesn't have a fever so that's good I think “ there was a small pause in the conversation and the voice which Felix recognized as Changbin hyung replies “ yes i bought the soup …… yes… don't worry I'll handle i think whatever it was it broke down his complexion looks better than this morning…. Yapp okay bye hyung” when the hyung keeps the call Felix stirs a little and turns.

“ heyyy pixie. How are you feeling now?” Changbin was half sitting and half lying down on the opposite side of the bed with his finger lix's hair and smiles down softly at him.

“ I'm feeling really good hyung very well rested,” he smiles drowsily.

“ That's good cause now you have to get up and eat something, eat your meds and then you can rest more” Changbin heavies the boy up from bed.

“ Arghhh hyunuungg'' the younger man groans out but gets up.

They together have their dinner in the room and Changbin informs him about the younger one present at the dorm and the other still getting their work done, with lots of small talks here and there they both finish their dinner. Changbin immediately gives the younger man his medicine before tucking him to bed. The freckles boy was already droopy from the med and did not fused at all but tugged on the hyung’s sweater sleeves when he was about to leave.

“Hyung stay! please , i don't wanna be alone” and who was Changbin to deny such a request knowing the skin ship from his loved one brings the younger great comfort and he would do absolutely anything to make his younger brother as safe as possible and he was getting free cuddles out of it so why not and lix gives the best hugs and cuddles.

Soon they both fell into a deep slumber, the door creaked a little as it opened slowly and a figure entered the room.
Chan had a soft smile on his tired face and heavy dark circles under his eyes as he looked at his boys sleeping peacefully, he noticed the color back on Felix's face and felt relieved. He reaches out and stokes their head gently and snuggles the comforter around them and leaves the room but not before dropping a soft kiss on both of their heads. He checks his watch, it says 4am, he heads to his room to take a small nap before he has to wake up for work again, and closes the door behind softly.

………………..

It's been way over a month since the incident of Felix falling ill. Everyone has been so busy with all the work and all the preparation for the comeback, so much so that they almost forgotten their personal life and were working day and night, it was December already and it had been hard to keep up with their health as they all had to stay healthy for their comeback and not fall ill. And everyone had been doing a pretty okay job at it as well apart from a certain young aussie, time hasn't been easy for Felix the most,
Felix didn't feel any better since the last time fell ill but he kept that to himself so as not to worry other with his troubles they had been pretty busy and if anyone did ask him about his pale complexion he would blame it on the cold weather and on the comeback stress, he didn't wanted to draw others attention from their work to him and he remembered how worried everyone got the last time so Felix didn't want them to know and worry and sabotage their own schedule for him but he was just so sick of feeling sick all the time.
Even in the practice he was trying really hard but was failing miserably, he had been feeling really tired lately and no matter how much he wanted to sleep he couldn't fall asleep, more than often he would wake up in the middle of the nights with coughing fits that leaves him feeling breathless and his limbs aches in a very pinching manner and when he did eventually falls asleep he’d still wake up feeling as if he hadn't slept at all.

Practice had been gruesome for him, he was known in the group for his good stamina and energy but nowadays he feels winded too soon like he’s hardly able to keep up with the normal routine practice and even the simplest of the task tires him out so much that he is left to gasp for air. His endurance to work hard was reduced frighteningly.

He knew everyone’s patience was running low as it was with how tired everyone was and Felix was not helping with his clumsiness and an outburst was just looming over his head. They all had been very tolerable with him till now, even Minho hyung who was known to be very strict and would rain thunders on the person if they messes up the choreo, he ran down the entire step to Felix almost ten times during their practice as he keeps forgetting the steps, he was taken down from most of his solo screen timing just so that he won’t catch much attention with his mistakes.
Felix was frustrated with himself, he couldn't understand what was happening with him, he stayed over after practice ended and went through the entire choreo again and again till his limbs crumbled and he fell splat on the floor, he had so many bruises covering his body he lost the counts. he started worrying about them when the makeup noona have been giving him off glance when they have to cover his bruises. The problem is that they don't seem to fade away if anything it looked like they were spreading more, it turned deep blue and black with a hint of red and a disgusting green at the edges, but those bruises didn't hurt much so Felix didn't pay them much attention. The cold weather was certainly not helping Felix's case, he had been getting headaches and a runny nose so often that it had been too casual for him to avoid it and carry on with work, his voice also seems to be a lot more rougher than usual and he has to put a lot of effort to sound natural. Recently he’s been so sensitive to almost everything around him, the slightest thing easily makes him cry and feel agitated, his emotions have been all over the place and most of all he misses Chan, his boyfriend.

Things haven't been going well with Chan and Felix lately. Felix is sure that Chan is trying to work himself to death. Felix doesn't even remember when was the last time he had a proper conversation with the older, apart from the times when he is directing him in the recording studio.
Recently Felix feels detached with his boyfriend , like the older is avoiding him, which did not sit well with him. He likes to confront the situation head on, if he has any matters to settle with the members but Felix cannot find the right time to go up to Chan and talk to him. Felix tries to hold back his tear whenever Chan avoids him in practice room or neglects him in order to work in his studio and not to mention how much it stings Felix when Chan ditched him on their dates for seventh time already, he tried to come up with several excuses to console his aching heart, knowing most of them are true, he understands that their leader is working hard for the team and managing a relationship is not really up on his list. Felix knew what he was getting himself into when he first accepted Chan’s proposal, they had a long conversation about Chan's workaholism and how he tends to forget other important stuff in his life when it comes to his work, they talked how they would always keep their team before their own relationship if it even comes to situation like that. Both of them agreed to it as well because no matter how much they love each other they love Stary Kids even more, as it being the reason they came to know each other and it's not just them its about the dynamic of the other six members in the band that they have to look out for as well.
He remembers that one night Chan promised the freckled boy that he’ll be home sooner and then they could have dinner together at the terrace like a mini date. Felix got so excited over it and made Chan's favorite dinner, set them a date worthy décor on their terrace, Felix waited for a long time but Chan never showed up. Felix lays there on blanket, cold tear streaming down his face, he stares blankly as the sky loses its darkness and blue lights spreads on the horizon, he gathers himself up off the ground ignoring all the pain in his joints and dizziness, he goes back inside their dorm to find chan asleep on the couch with his laptop on his lap, he stares at the sleeping figure sadly before going to Chan's room bringing a duet, setting the laptop to the table, trying to make as minimal sound as possible and covering him up before going back to his own room and crying himself to unconsciousness. Felix stopped expecting them to go on a date since then, and it was like Chan didn't even remember that he had stood Felix up again which hurt Felix even more at the breakfast table that morning when he behaved so oblivious to it all. But still he just wanted to be close to his boyfriend and it hurts him a lot that as simple as the task is he is not able to do so.

Today they all gathered to practice dance choreography at the company. It had been a late night practice as they had just finished the final shoot for their new mv that morning. Christmas was just around the corner. They all had decided to perform a small gift for Stays on Christmas VLive that was just a week later. Despite the pressure of the work and tiredness everyone was feeling excited about it, everyone except Felix. Felix was not really feeling good right now let alone share the same excitement as the member in the practice room, he woke with a stuffy nose that morning and garbed few tissue to wipe it when he saw specks of red on the tissue which was accompanied by a ringing headache he went to the bathroom to clean up, it wasn't uncommon occurrence for him he had been having lots of bloody nose from past few weeks,
”It must be the dry air, try using some nasal drops. It helps Chan hyung all the time,” Han told him once when he saw him in the bathroom cleaning his face and he went along with the excuse.
Felix was practicing his step sequence, still having trouble going through it correctly therefore they couldn't run down the group performance one last time before calling it a night, he was absolutely exhausted. His nose had bled so much throughout the day that he was now feeling a little light-headed which was coupled over by the fact he hadn't eaten anything since morning of their shoot. He was exhausted and just wanted to curl up on the floor and pass out but still continued practicing.
The tension in the room was thick, many members started groaning as they had to start the whole sequence again and again but were shut down by a glare from none other than Lee Minho himself. Chan had been utterly silent standing in the corner of the room.

“ You first go like this and then like this, here you spin one and two and then like this” Hyunjin took pity on the poor soul and tried to slow down the step sequence for Felix to catch up on where he was missing his steps when he how much the younger was struggling with all thing, which was very shocking to see cause usually it's always Felix who would get down the new choreography at lightning speed, ’he looks so pale’ Hyunjin thought to himself and continues to observe the younger.

“ okay..” Felix imitates Hyunjin step and stands in position when Minho comes from behind and corrects his positioning
“ set this footing straight here and twist or else you'll get it wrong again”.

Felix does that again, but unfortunately twisted a little off beat which landed him a few seconds late to the song. Within a millisecond he stumbled back into the position to try again but was stopped by a loud voice.“ STOP IT!!”.



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Heyyy again I hope you all enjoyed it and thank you all for the wonderful response to the very first chapter hope you'll stick with me together throughout story !!!! thank you all and if you liked this fic don't forget to leave kudos !!

Bye bye warm hugs to all!!!!
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