Escape from Hell Grand Central Station

Escape from Hell Grand Central Station

         One night, Sam Adams had a dream that would haunt him for about a year Every night the same image–his wife was in Hell and was screaming while being tortured by demons wielding whips and chains. She was yelling repeatedly that she was not supposed to be there. Her tormentors, demons wearing red suits and white ties, laughed, and said that she was right–it was a screwup in the computer programs that sent her there. She was due in heaven but hey once she was there what could they do about it? She might as well get used to the idea. And then the torture started again, and she faded away. The dream continued night after night.

         He began researching Hell, and he finally found a few obscure references to the way to hell in some writings in the Necronomicon (Al Asif) by the mad Arab poet, Abdul Aliased, and other longed-banned occult texts and references in various occult publications and writers including Crowley and others. He also read the founder of the Church of Satan claimed he had been to hell and back. After consulting these references, Sam decided he could locate Hell. Sam sat down on Saturday night and did a final re-reading of all his many volumes of material on hell. He filled his apartment to the rim with books, articles, print printouts of web pages. He had found an incredibly detailed map of hell. According to this book, published in the early 30s, Hell had a stop on the NYC City subway line, deep underneath the Hell’s Kitchen area of NYC, that linked to the Hell Subway system. .

         The author also described the details of Hell’s horrific, terribly corrupt bureaucracy. He said everything was for sale, and the currency of choice was US dollars. Many of the lower echelon officials dreamed of escaping Hell and many bribed their way out for a weekend of fun in NYC. That is why NYC has always had strange crimes reported now and then. The denizens of hell while on Earth look like humans but are very wild, violent, and crazy as if they are extremely high, and most of them are. They come out and commit horrific crimes and then disappear in the sunlight.

         He and his team arrive in NYC and in the depths of the NYC City subway system, they chant from the Necormicron and find themselves in Hell Central. They go up to the ticket booth and tell Bernie, the bored demon functionary, that they are on a top-secret Q-level special mission and must locate Maria Lee sentenced six months ago. He looks it up on the computer and hums and haws. We gave him 500 US dollars to not report that this had occurred and promised him $500 more and an opportunity to join us on the other side if he kept quiet.
         He grins and says,

         “You got it, my man. Good luck and all that shit. You will need it. He said to take the train to Hell Central, get off and transfer to the B train and stay on to the central coal pit, then get off and tell the chief super there that Bernie says we are okay. He will help you find your lady, but you have to know that if HE, the MAN downstairs, finds out you will all fry. I Ain’t putting my neck on the line for you guys, not at all. And the super, Mr. Black will need at least five G’s looking the other way…

         We thank Mr. Bernie and enter the next A train bound for Hell Central station which is a mirror image of Grand Central but incredibly crowded, noisy, and smelly as hell. We finally find our way and transfer to the B line, and we take the train deep into the cavernous pits of hell.

          The train leaves the station, and we gasp as we enter Hell. Miles and miles of open pits with fires burning everywhere and sounds of people screaming in endless agony. Desperate-looking people dressed in rag fill all along the streets of the city. Guys in zoot suits dressed like us walk about shooting people for fun. The dead die again but come back to life, so to speak, days later in even worse pain. The train pulls to a stop and an announcement is made.
         “Due to a maintenance breakdown, the train will be stuck on the tracks for the next six hours. “
         The denizens of the Hell groaned and bitched, but settled down. They waited and went over their plans. Finally, the train started up and they got off at station 69 in the lowest section of Hell, underneath a secret passageway to the San Franciso Castro district straigth over their heads. We noted that would be their exit station.


         We met the mine superintend, Mr. Black, and gave him Bernie's name and number.
         “Yeah, Bernie’s cool. We were Hell mates who came together into the service. What can I do for you fine gentlemen and ladies? He leers at the ladies in our group. They glare back.
          Sam explains the situation.
         He says
         “Well, let me see. I need some paperwork. “
         Sam points the gun at him, saying
“          “It is urgent top-secret work, Q-level clearance, covert shit, needs to know and you do not need to know, and you don’t want to mess with the MAN downstairs. We would pay you 3 g’s in Earth money if you just found the girl and looked the other way.”
          He looks at us and says,
         “Make it 10 g’s and you got a deal. “
         Sam slips him 10 g’s, and he smiles and says ,

         “This solves all problems, my friend. I have already forgotten who the fuck you are and do not give a fuck what you do. Just put a friendly word in with the boss man downstairs.
         They rescue Maria and return via station 69 to SF.”