Talk About It Vol. 4

Here we are at a cross roads.

Stuck between making it work, or letting it burn out.

Lashed out at you over past discretions.

That still bother me to this day, wow.

Never stuck in the past, just analyzing why I act the way I do.

All the pain, tragedy, & suffering...............

Brought me back to you.

Comparing me to a man I had no choice of being related to.

Anything negative about men, you'd spew.

Angry at the world for your poor choices, that you couldn't realize the common denominator was you.

Apologies that you gave towards me for your audacities you casted upon me.

Though just like the indoctrination of weakness for 10 plus years that was instilled in me,

It'll take just as long to cleanse my soul of the energy.

Makes me disappointed that we have any sort of relation to one another.

The world tells me if I pray to the most high, I'll be covered.

But my faith in myself has gotten me through more time pragmatically than I can count the times I've repented to a being that may or may not exist.

You came to make amends, assisting me in my self isolation in another world I had to exit.

Mind is healing, heart is bleeding, but my volition is strong.

All the mental failures I've exhibited has helped me to find myself all along.

& now the lash out has got you thinking I'd cause you harm.

Like I'd sacrifice my freedom to bring you alarm.

My self control is higher than most.

Never choosing to take a life, even if it is worthless, & find healing processed in these words I wrote.

Pushing forward with my agenda, yet the words & visions tend to haunt me.

Folks asking what's wrong, but who do you become vulnerable to when your weak spot has been abused by an army?

An army of people who you thought were on your side, but only used you for their personal benefit.

Knowing you'd never do them how they did you, leaving you with a hurt so vivid.

& I'm not a victim, don't think this is a way for you to feel pity for me.

I just write what's on my mind, before the thoughts start mentally killing me.

Helping others so much, so they never have to experience the pain I've felt.

It puts a smile on my face, but who do I call when I'm the one who needs help?

The only person I've had since my conception.

The super hero I see in the mirror that I can say is an amazing reference.

The man who is victorious from his past, thriving to reinvent his bloodline.

Crafting powerful words that freeze me in an amazing portion of my time alive.

- Maãlík