Loner Rockstar {Nirvana Fanfiction}

Chapter 1
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There was a weird sickly cold. A blond male sat against the harsh blackness, his body flat on the ground. His eyes were shut, his skin pale, lips stuck together. A yellow cardigan sat within his skin.


Everything. Hurt.


A groan left his lips. He was deciding if he should get up or lay there forever. If there was a forever. He decided to get up. He didn't like being cold and lonely. He looked around slowly and blinked.
"Hello?"
Coldness effortlessly ate him, and he shuddered. The cardigan that stuck to his skin didn't really help, as it was in a frost. He stood there and sighed, letting himself get trapped in the cold walls of the void. He couldn't get far, so he just slowly sat back down.


He probably did something cowardly, like he knew he would. The holes in his arms didn't say anything more, neither did his aching head. He closed his eyes as he had gotten tired, and he felt himself fall into a sleep.


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"You really gave us a scare, Kurt." A muffled voice said.


He looked into the blackness before his eyes opened. Soft, warm blankets covered the male's body while he laid against the comforting bed. He blinked and looked around, his vision coming to. Two males sat by him in dingy chairs, looking at him. He looked back into their eyes before letting himself upward.


"I guess I did..." He laughed softly, rubbing his hair before looking at them. Krist had a sad grin over his lips. Dave was quiet.


There was more of that quiet. Kurt knew he messed up badly. He didn't want to remember, but he did. His friends were eerily quiet, which wasn't something usual. Courtney wasn't there. He didn't think she'd be, knowing she didn't like Kurt's friends.


Though, he really wanted to see his daughter.


"I'm sorry." Were the words that exited his mouth. He knew they weren't true. If they were, he wouldn't have made repeated attempts to hurt himself. Tears blotted his eyes, but he felt terrible. He couldn't cry. He deserved their anger for him.


"We're worried, Kurt...I was worried, Dave was worried, Courtney, Frances, your mom-" Krist said before stopping.


"I know." The blond looked down. He messed with his sleeves.


"Please don't hurt yourself again. Please don't, Kurt. I can't see you like this anymore. No one can. We want you to get better, Courtney wants you better." Dave whispered.


"Okay." Kurt said before going quiet once more. The trio continued this quiet, the blond letting himself lay on the soft pillow. Krist and Dave gave each other looks before looking around unsure.


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Kurt didn't know how word got out to everyone, but his life was never a secret. That was one thing. He sighed, trying to ignore the television blabbering about him, rumors and whatnot. He knew that somewhere there was paparazzi waiting to get their shit signed, people waiting to shove cameras at him all at once.


He groaned when it was time for him to be checked and take medicine. It didn't help that he had a stomachache, but he felt slightly better with the cookie and note given to him.


He took the note and read it. Krist and Dave.


Dearest Kurt,


We hope you feel better. We know you like cookies. Don't worry, it's chocolate chip. We know you are picky about things. This is a very shitty letter, but know it's because we love you.


Krist and Dave


Kurt snickered and took a bite of the cookie. What would he do without those two? He sighed. The cookie didn't really soothe him at all, and his stomach hurt terribly. He groaned and laid down, looking up. He'd taken so many pills in his life he was started to get very sick of it. His stomach never got any better. So many problems, but so many others had as many problems as he did. He frowned. He felt bad when he thought about it.

Every often the doctors would come in and check on him. He wondered if Courtney would ever come, and if would ever see Frances. Maybe it would be best if he'd waited. He sighed. He didn't know what he'd say to her, but he knew he had to make things right. Get the help he needed. For Frances. For Courtney. For his family. For his friends.


Kurt would be home. He would see his daughter. His wife. His friends. His family. Everything would be okay.