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Rated: E · Short Story · Contest Entry · #2312753
George tries out a new product, hoping for a miracle.
Breathe Right
WC 174

I affixed the Breathe Right strip to my nose before going to bed. I'd never worn one, and it felt weird. But I had worked hard all day shoveling concrete (we are adding a patio), so I fell asleep almost immediately regardless of the claustrophobic mental response to the alien gizmo attached to my snout.

My wife has threatened divorce more than once because of my snoring, or at least moving to the sofa, me not her...of course. I love my Hildy and hate our lumpy sofa, so I felt my best recourse was this remedy I saw advertised on TV.

"Wake Up! You're snoring!"

I sat straight up. It was 2 am.

"Huh? What?"

The adhesive strip had come unglued from my nose and was stuck to my pillow.

" George, what did I tell you?"

So now I'm dragging my blanket and pillow down the hall, banished to the lumpy sofa.

Life is not fair!

And those Breathe Right people are going to hear from me! You better believe they are!
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