Dubious Phones Calls

Dubious Phones Calls with Dubious American Citizens in the Eastern Caribbean


         Many years ago, when I was doing fundraising calls to support the US Embassy's July fourth parties in the Eastern Caribbean, we had to call American businesses in the region to solicit donations to the party funds. We were going to hold seven parties in two days in the seven countries of our region. The first time, we had done such an ambitious undertaking. Our official representation budget provided almost nothing to support an official July 4th party so we were required to solicit funds for these events. We raised over 45,000 US dollars to support these seven celebrations.


         Sometimes though it seems that our telephone calls were routed to an alternative universe = almost a film noir alternative universe filled with dubious characters, doing dubious businesses, many of whom did not want to be associated with the USG for varieties of reasons, some sinister, some for tax avoidance issues, or to avoid publicity, or in some cases to avoid tangling with ex-spouses as some of the characters were on the lam. The Caribbean can be that kind of place at times.


         It made for some interesting conversations.

         “Hello is this Mr.?

         “Yeah, who’s calling?”

         “I am calling from the U.S. Embassy in Barbados. How are you doing this morning?”.

         “Yeah, so what do you want?

“          We want to request a donation to the July 4th party fund”.

         “Are you with the IRS?”

         “Nope. I am calling you to make a donation to support the July 4th celebration.”

         “Is this being recorded?’

         “No, Sir.”

         “How did you track me down?”

         “Oh the local government gave us a list of American-owned businesses registered in the country.”

         “Okay, I am an American citizen but I can’t make a donation due to political reasons. And well, I don’t want people to know my business, particularly the IRS and my ex-wives.”

         “ I can assure you that we won’t report you to the IRS or to your ex-wives. Can we count on you for a donation?”

         Sometimes we got a donation. other time the phone caller hung up.

         True story. As an US diplomat, we would often meet Americans overseas who were of dubious character, many of whom did not want to be associated with the U.S. Government. a law firm answered several phone calls as the company was registered as an off shore business as the region had long been a tax loophole haven. And there were several firms doing “animal testing” on monkeys who did not want to divulge anything to the US government including the name of the company. They preferred to remain in the shadows so to speak. Most of the people I called, did donate something and attended the party.


There is a new prompt up in "The Writer's Cramp" - and if you write the best story or poem (and follow all of the rules) you just might win 10,000 GPs like "Not Hans Christian Anderson" by Fraught-With-Safety (110) did today!

" WINNER and NEW PROMPT - Due Thursday, Mar 7" 18 hours 21 minutes 20 seconds
On March 7, 1876, Alexander Graham Bell received a patent for his new invention, the telephone.

For tomorrow, write a story or poem in which telephones suddenly start connecting callers to unexpected and unanticipated recipients.

Be creative! Maybe they start connecting you to the dead (horror or spiritual genre), or aliens (sci-fi), or your one true love (romance), or your ancestors (family), or the home number of telemarketers (humor), or the person who will cause your death (suspense), etc.