Silent Knight

SILENT KNIGHT

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring except for the spouse.
From under the duvet I started to swear,
As the sound of loud snoring filled the night air.


I crept from the bedroom, descended the stairs,
Stumbled into the kitchen to examine my wares.
I knew there was something, somewhere the right fit,
That would muffle the snoring and not hurt a bit.


I raided the cupboards and emptied the drawers,
Till I found a device that I thought would stop snores.
Crept back to the bedroom, my God what a racket.
Then in the dim light I opened the packet.


I couldn’t remember where my glasses were,
So the instructions inside were a bit of a blur.
I groped in the gloom for the nose on the face,
But fear in the darkness I found the wrong place.


Not a clue about fuses is one of my faults,
So I’m afraid that I used the wrong number of volts.
And having no knowledge of electricity,
I wired it up wrongly; how careless of me.


But then there was silence, no tossing and turning,
And the night air was filled with the slight smell of burning.
Then out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.


St Nicholas came flying from out of the night,
Looked down upon Kirkby and saw my red light.
I felt quite elated by the absence of snores,
And spent the night raving with old Santa Claus.


As the morning light dawned he leapt on his sleigh,
Harnessed his reindeer and went on his way.
But I heard him exclaim, “God bless you my dear.
Hang on to your stockings and I’ll see you next year.”