Little Angel

An old woman slowly opened her eyes as the sun's light warmed her face. Another normal day for her, she would be wheeled around this home and have younger woman screaming into her ear as if she was deaf. She just wanted to pull the covers over her head and fall asleep again, it was hopeless to keep on eating, or try to become stronger when her legs refused to work. Her old age was slowly taking its toll
on her frail body and she was becoming weaker and weaker everyday. The woman's only daughter hadn't seen her for months and she had no other family. She was widowed and her parents died when she was very young. The old woman was awakened from her thoughts as she listened as soft footsteps made their way towards her door.

"EILEEN? Are you ready to go downstairs for breakfast?" A teenage girl nearly screamed out as she walked towards her bed. Her name was Sofia, and she was like much of the staff at the nursing home, screaming at her because they thought that she couldn't hear a word they said. While, in truth, she could hear fine, and clearly understood everything. Her body was what was going, not her mind.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm going, I'm going." Eileen mumbled as she tried to get her arms to work so that she could push herself to the edge of the bed. The woman's body didn't comply as she placed her hands on the bed and pushed herself up only to fall back down to her bed with a soft grunt. Frustration was building within her body and she tried again and again to move her body to the edge of her bed. So that she could scoot into her wheel chair but it was to no avail.

"I can't do it." Eileen whispered softly as she closed her eyes in frustration and allowed the girl to move her from her bed to the wheelchair. She could feel her young arms underneath her body trying to lift her. After several attempts the girl succeeded and the older woman was safely within the wheelchair. Eileen placed her long fingers on the wheels of the wheelchair and began to roll them forward
ever-so-slowly. She didn't want help from any of the staff. And she didn't care how many whispers she heard about how she wouldn't make it to the elevator without help. The old woman rolled down the long halls and looked forward. She already knew there was nothing new to look at and merely listened to Sofia's footsteps which were behind her.

"EILEEN, do you know it's Halloween today? There'll be children coming here to trick or treat in a few hours, and we just decorated today. What do you think?" Sofia's cheery voice echoed threw the long halls.

"It looks fine." Eileen mumbled as she continued to roll down the halls and didn't even glance at the walls which were decorated with Halloween posters. She didn't even notice one large poster which had a black cat with an orange hat and an orange bow, with 'Happy Halloween' printed in large letters above. She didn't care for Halloween, or for anything else in that matter. She hated being taken care of like a baby; changed, fed, and told when to eat and sleep, it made her crazy. The old woman was used to being independent, and having that independence taken away from her was like taking an arm or limb from her body, or her eyesight taken away from her.
She felt immediately lost and angry, and didn't
know what to do anymore.

"Would you like me to move you around now, Eileen? You're looking pretty tired." Sofia said as she didn't even wait for the older woman to answer and took the handles of the wheelchair and wheeled the woman forward. Eileen didn't object as she allowed the teenager to guide her towards the elevator which loomed in the distance. It seemed like the elevator came to them as it took only a few moments. She envied the teenager, how she could move so quickly, that she didn't need someone to push her forward. The girl pushed the button for the elevator and it immediately opened and she backed Eileen into the elevator.

"Hey, Christen. Don't you think you should get your hair fixed and get a new wardrobe?" Eileen asked to another old woman who was in a wheelchair next to her. Christen smiled a toothless grin and gave Eileen a small wink.

"It amuses men like a halloo down the well." Christen explained in a
scratchy voice as she winked. Eileen had heard the ancient expression years ago and gave a small smile in return. It was good to know that the old woman could still remember things so far back, even if she had problems with short term memory. The elevator door opened and squeaked as they arrived at the downstairs dinning room. Eileen sighed inwardly, her dinner companions were Christen, and an older man named John who had lost his mind years ago to Parkinson's disease. His distant gaze broke her heart every time she saw him, a look of longing always played across his withered face. She would have the same look if she was him, a number of other diseases and illnesses had taken everything away from him. His voice, his eyesight, his ability to walk, and his mind were all taken away.

Eileen's eyes traveled across the room and rested on a woman in particular who had her eyes closed and a look of bliss across her face. She turns on her internal radio, mouthing the words to the songs that fill her mind. This is what Eileen guessed this woman was doing. She was another who had lost her mind many years ago. There was very few who still had their wits about them. She guessed that she was the only one who still had them. Eileen ate her food in silence and played with most of it. She wasn't very hungry, and had lost her appetite along with many pounds since she had been admitted to the nursing home. She soon placed her fork on the plate and wheeled herself towards the elevator. No one noticed that the old woman left by herself.

It seemed to take hours as Eileen rolled her wheelchair inch-by-inch down the hallway towards her room again. It took every bit of strength within her to keep her arms moving, to keep on pushing forward. But, she did, and finally arrived at her small and musky room. The old woman dragged herself onto her bed and crawled towards her pillow. She felt like she was in a pit of despair, and she couldn't crawl out towards freedom. But to despair was to wish for something already lost. And she decided that her pit of despair was because of her lost independence. It was also her want to get it back and be free from those who told her what to do and when to do it. Eileen felt herself drifting off to sleep's comforting embrace as she laid sideways and closed her eyes to rest her exhausted body.
**
Eileen quickly awoke as she heard screams of, "Trick or Treat!"
and retreating footsteps. She looked towards the nearest clock and read the time. It was 7:30 PM, the exact time when the children are rounded up to leave the nursing home to head back to their own home. The woman felt a solitary tear roll down her face as she remembered the many times she had taken her daughter out on Halloween.

"Lady, why are you crying?" A young girl asked with small blonde pigtails and an angel costume. Her small hands held onto a plastic black handle which had an orange pumpkin bag. Eileen didn't know how to react to the little girl's question. Though, she couldn't deny the child an answer as she stood there innocently staring at her.

"I'm sad, little girl. I miss my daughter." Eileen explained softly as she looked at the young girl and gave her a sad smile. The little girl timidly walked toward the old woman and stood beside her bed.

"Please don't cry lady." The child said as she looked down at her bag and handed it to the older woman. Eileen was extremely surprised, the bag was almost overflowing with candy that the little girl had been working all night to get, and now she was giving it to her? The old woman shook her head as she immediately refused to take the candy from the child.

"No, you have worked all night for that candy. You should keep it, it's yours." Eileen told the little trick or treater. The child merely shook her little head and placed the heavy bag on the Eileen's bed.

"I worked hard for the candy, but you need it. Don't cry anymore, I don't like people sad." The little girl said as she gave a bright little smile and left Eileen alone again. The old woman was at a loss for words, she merely looked at the orange bag and smiled. The child was truly deserving of her trick or treat costume, she was a little angel. And Eileen would never forget the child, or the night she was visited by the little angel who eased her broken heart.

This entry was inspired by my own experiences with a nursing home. My grandpa now lives in one now and I visit him everyday. But, I've noticed, many families never visit their mothers or father, or grandparents inside of the nursing home. So many people just sit and wait for their loved ones to see them again, but it never happens. They keep on waiting, and living, going through the same routine again and again, having no one to talk to about what they are feeling. So, this peice is for them, the forgotten inhabitants of the nursing home. Who keep on waiting for their family to visit them.

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