Indian Joe

         He knew that they had almost caught up to him. The game was almost played out, the other characters exhausted but still coming strong. They were going to catch him tomorrow, no matter where he hid, how clever he was. This round was over and they had won.
         He still didn’t know why he was coming back here of all places. Here was the worst location to come back to, the one place he should never set foot in again. And yet the car, seemingly of its own volition, was traveling down that same stretch of highway he had passed down so many times before. This was folly, madness. She wouldn’t want to spend another second with him, let alone a night, but he had to try. She was the only thing left to him after it was all over, and if he only had one night left, he wanted to spend it with her.

         A bar. Not the typical spot for the start of a romance, but there you had it. It was a one-night stand gone sour, a fluke in both their lives. She was a hard-core bitch without any sensitive side that anyone knew of; and he was just passing through and looking for a good time. But somehow the sex wasn’t even the best part of it, or an intrinsic part, after that first night. Somehow they brought out the best in each other.
         He had left in a hurry that first time. He had just started the game, and hadn’t yet discovered that you could spend days on end without a sign from any of the Hunters. But he learned quickly, and any time he passed through New Mexico he would make a detour to see her. Gradually he had stayed for longer and longer periods, weeks on end if he had the cash and the time. She showed him things he didn’t think he would ever know…love, affection, the feeling that there was someone out there who cared if he lived or died. And he taught her things too, though she wouldn’t admit it unless he pressed her.

         He brushed his hair from his eyes as he passed landmarks that used to show him the way to his little piece of Paradise. He didn’t know what he’d find when he reached his destination tonight. She might be dead, in the arms of another man, moved away… It had been four years since he’d last traveled into this part of the country. All he knew was he had one night left, and he wanted to spend it with her.
         Joe glanced at the clock and sped up. No worries about cops or troopers out here. There was no one on this interstate, there never had been.
         He wondered again why he was coming back here, back to Leigh. She had said she never wanted to see him again. The pain of that statement struck him once more, and he knew why he was returning. Because even if she turned him away, and he spent his last night on Earth driving aimlessly, still alone, at least he would have seen her face one last time…
         In what seemed like the greatest cliché on Earth, it began to rain, great giant drops that drowned out the sights and sounds of the night, drops that caused his wipers to speed faster and faster as he peered ahead, trying to remain on the road. He hoped this wasn’t an omen of things to come. There was only so much he could take when he knew he had only one night left.
         "Where do you go, Joe? Why can’t you ever just STAY?” Perhaps tonight I’ll be able to tell you Leigh. Tonight I won’t have any reason to hide.

         He pulled onto the off-ramp into the city. Joe noted the small changes that had taken place in his absence, the new cracks in the pavement, the businesses under new ownership. McAllister’s had a new coat of paint, and was looking little worse for wear than when he stopped in a few years ago, and Bourbon Street now had no sign. But all seemed as usual. Well, as much as you could tell through blinding rain, but there you had it.
         He drove randomly for awhile, taking in the sights and sounds of the city he had once wished to call home. There was still time to turn around. Humiliating himself on the last night he had might not be the best idea…then Leigh’s face rose again in front of his eyes. What the hell. I only have one night left. I wont feel the pain after sunrise as it is.


         The hotel hadn’t been grand. He’d been underpaid for the last job, had only enough money for a Holiday Inn instead of the Ramada or a Four Seasons like he normally got her. But she hadn’t cared. It had been enough to just be together. The phone had rung.
         ‘Hello?’ A pause. ‘Joe, its for you.’ She’d sat up in bed to pass him the phone, her long brown hair covering what the sheet hadn’t, and there was a note of fear in her voice. He had been frightened too for a second. Not for himself, but that he might confide in her, drag her into the mess that he had gotten himself into. ‘Joe. Uh huh. Not tonight. I cant have one more night? Fuck. Um-hum. Bye.’
         ‘You’re leaving again, aren’t you?’ Those brown eyes had been so accusatory, so pleading. She was saying with her eyes what she was too proud to express in words, and there was so much hurt there that he had been tempted to just stay and damn the consequences. He couldn’t though. There had been no way.
         ‘Yeah, I am.’ She’d lain back down and now she turned her back on him. ‘Leigh…’
         ‘You’re always leaving, Joe. When are you just going to stay?’ He could read the sub-text. Is there someone else, Joe? What’s out there that is so important that you have to leave now, in the middle of the night? When is this all just going to end?
         ‘Leigh…’
         ‘Don’t give me that.’ She’d mimicked him ‘Leigh…Leigh…Why cant you just stay here, with me. Where you belong?’
         ‘You know I can’t or I would.’
         ‘Would you, Joe? Sometimes I wonder.’
         The tension in the air had become thick enough to cut with a knife, and he had almost wished he could. He would cut through all the pain and secrecy. Maybe then he could reach out and touch her, tell her all the things that he wanted to say.
         ‘I always come back. You know I do.’ He’d been out of bed by this time, pulling his boxers and pants on, searching for his belt. It hadn’t been the right thing to say, but he’d never been good with words. He began to pack his clothes.


         That had been the turning point right there. The warning bell had gone off, but he’d been too involved with trying to figure out where to go once he left to pay attention to what was in right in front of his face. If he’d been paying attention he would have seen the hardening in her eyes, the way her mouth had become thinner and longer as she pressed her lips together. Maybe if he had said something different he wouldn’t have to worry about spending his last night alone.
         The rain let up enough for him to really see where he was, and realized he had been driving on reflex. He was a block from her apartment. The listing in the phone book had read still read Stillwater, Leigh; so she must still be there. He saw the light was off…that was odd. She was never in bed this early. He had a flash of her in another hotel, in someone else’s arms.


         ‘So that’s it? That’s all you have to say?’ A long pause. Another chance to salvage the situation lost. ‘“I always come back?” Joe. Answer me.’
         ‘I’m sorry. I would change it if I could. I’ll try to be back within the month.’ He was hurried now. They’d given him an hour. He had to be gone in an hour.
         ‘I can’t believe you.’
         And then he’d screwed up again. Screwed up big-time. Enough to make her tell him to never come back.
         He’d turned away from her and walked to the door.
         ‘There’s nothing I can do, Leigh.’
         The sudden rustling of sheets had made him turn around again. She was standing by the bed now, with the sheet pulled tightly around her as if she could use it to steady herself against a giant blow. Her eyes flashing sparks. ‘You know what Joe? This is it. I’m done. I cant do this anymore.’
         It was then he saw it coming, when the warning bell finally started to peal. When it was too late.
         ‘That’s right. Is it finally starting to click now? You’re a smart man. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand this one. I cant take this anymore.’ She’d drawn herself up even further till her slight 5’5” seemed to tower over his 6’1”, reminding him of one of those vengeful Indian goddesses, and yet there was such a vulnerability there. ‘We’re through, Joe.’ All through the speech her voice continued to rise. It was almost a shriek by the time she got to his name, and he remembered cringing at the way she made it sound like the worst word in the world. Then she began to cry. Leigh Stillwater never cried.
         The voice that had been so loud a second before was now a whisper. ‘Just leave. Leave and don’t come back. Ever.’


         He’d stood by those orders till tonight. He’d called many times, mailed many more. No one picked up the phone when he called, the emails were returned once the receiver blocked him, the ‘snail mail’ was never answered. He hadn’t seen her or heard from her in 4 years. And yet she was the one thing that mattered now, the candle in the darkness of his last hour. All he wanted was to see her again.
         He parked in the space next to the fire escape, same as he always had, got out of the car, and closed the door softly behind him, jumping when he pushed the button on his key-chain and the lights flashed on and off. Deep breaths, Joe, deep breaths.
         The effort it took to place one foot in front of the other to make it to the door seemed to cost him more than this whole night had so far. To push the buzzer required even more.
         BZZZZ BZZZZ! He jumped again at the sound echoing down the flight of stairs. A light went on in the upstairs window. He could almost hear her muttering to herself as she went to the intercom, cursing whoever dared disturb her rest, wrapping her robe around her. The light on the intercom came on.
         “Who is it?”
         Long pause. Deep breaths. In, out, in, out. “Leigh, its Joe.”
         The pause was so long he wasn’t sure she had heard him at all. Or maybe she had just gone back to bed, leaving him to stand in the cold and wait endlessly for something, anything at all…
         And then the door beeped, signaling that the occupant had unlocked the door. And suddenly, no matter what she thought of him, it was all ok. He was going to see Leigh, and it was all going to be worth it in the end.