Everyone Loves Pac-Man

Is there anything more boring in life than sitting at a bus station in Worcester, waiting for the final embarrassment of returning home from one of the worst week-ends known to man? All I have for entertainment is my idiot friend Rocco having an argument with a vending machine and watching the line continuously grow to play an old Pac-Man arcade game while replaying in my mind the torture that has left a black mark in my heart like I’ve never felt before.

It was supposed to be one of the best week-ends of our lives, just me and my buddy Rocco loose for three days on the city of Boston. It was early May, the Red Sox were in first place, and there was a special price on taking the Peter Pan bus from Hartford to Boston that we just had to take. Why shouldn’t we expect this to be the best days of our lives?

Rocco returned to where I was sitting with the spoils of his victory over the evils of the vending machine, munching away happily on a bag of chips. “Oh cheer up for once. You’ve been moaning like this since last night Doug.” I keep staring aimlessly at the line for Pac-Man trying not to acknowledge him. “You know what you need? A large Del’s Frozen Lemonade. When I was a kid, no matter what happened, that used to always cheer me up.”

“Roc, not all of us grew up in Rhode Island,” I finally muttered back at him. “Del’s never made the expansion out side of the state.”

“Yeah so, we can catch a bus to Providence from here, grab a couple of large ones, and we’ll make it back to Hartford from there. What’s stopping us?”

“Please, I just want to go back home and start over again.”

“Oh just stop man,” Rocco spewed out with a mouth full chips. “What are you going to do? I’ve listened to you for years now complain about how you can never find what you have come to think as your dream girl, as if life owes you it. Now I’m going to hear you complain about how life took that girl away from you. Well you know what; we had a great time until you ran with your tail between your legs.”

“I did not run with my tail between my legs!” I snapped back quickly. “She chose someone else over me. That’s the real problem with my life. No matter what I do there is always someone else who’s better than me at everything.”

“So you’re going to be complaining to me about how unfair this week-end was to you? Can we at least catch that bus to Providence first? It’s only humane to allow someone who will be suffering at much as I will to enjoy some Del’s while I do it.”

“Enough about Providence, I just want to go home.”

Rocco wiped chip crumbs from his face and slapped my back with a greasy hand. “Well at least let me buy you a game of Pac-Man. Remind you of the good old days before you realized there was a conspiracy that the whole world was out to get you.”

“Well thanks for your attempt, but look at that line to play. Our bus will be long gone before we’re even half way through.”

“Yeah, I guess everyone loves Pac-Man. What’s it been, 25 years since that game came out, yet look at that line to play it.”

“Here’s to wishing that someone still loves us after 25 years.”

“Oh give it a rest Doug! You had the time of your life. I have never seen you happier than that first moment you met Lise. The way you two started arguing over everything like Benedict and Beatrice, everyone in the bar could tell you two were actually hitting it off.”

“Yeah, well we ended like Romeo and Juliet.”

“Please, no one’s dead.”

“Well I wish I was, at least I wouldn’t feel this badly.”

“If the Capulets and the Montigues lived in Providence, they’d all have a couple of frozen lemonades and everyone would have made peace. Or at least share a couple of games of Pac-Man.”

“Okay, okay… so maybe we weren’t star crossed lovers. But…” it really hurt to even get the words out of my mouth, no matter how many times I ran what happened through my head, “she was so perfect. It was so much fun being near her, even if it was just playful arguing with her. Her laugh, her smile, her eyes… I just can’t take it any more. Can we please not discuss this?”

“Yeah well, she was infatuated with you too. Trust me, not everyone can stand arguing with you for that long without at least seeing something in you. Heck, you’d have to bribe me with frozen lemonade. It could be our first date if you want?” He laughed at his own joke. I probably would have found it funny if I wasn’t so depressed.

“Well a lot of good it did me. The most wonderful girl I’ve ever met in my life, teases me by actually showing interest in me, and then trots of with a guy whose richer, smarter, and better looking than me.”

“And what were you going to do about it? Figure that you’d complain about it the rest of your life? You finally had your perfect meeting so what else are you going to be able to complain about for the rest of your life?”

“Do you think I wanted to be going back home empty handed and broken hearted. She was everything I had always thought about, everything that I never thought a girl would ever find in me, and just like that reality decided to rear its ugly head.”

“Yeah, reality seems to have a grudge against you.”

“You’re really getting some enjoyment out of my depression aren’t you?”

“Well I’ve got to laugh about something or else I’ll end up like you. Sad, lonely, and no frozen lemonade or Pac-Man. What did that guy have that you didn’t where you would just give up on Lise?”

“How would you like the order? Alphabetically, chronologically, or spatially?” I snapped, still in a fowl mood. “The guy looked like a model right out of pages of some summer clothing catalog. Did you see the looks on every woman in the place when he first walked in? You could see that they were walking on air trying to catch his eye.”

“And Lise?”

“I can’t compete with that guy, not even to her.”

“What happened to the arguments that you two hit it off so well with?”

“They were stupid petty discussions. I’m sure she cares about more things than debating the ups and downs of Ernie Hudson’s career.”

“Aww… it wasn’t petty, it was simple.”

“Trust me it was petty.”

“Yeah, well that’s how you operate, with petty discussions… at least until you run away because life is so unfair. You could get sucked into a debate about what’s better, Pac-Man or Ms. Pac Man.”

“You really wish you could be playing that game right now don’t you?”

Rocco took a survey of the line, still judging that it was too long to even give an effort. “Everyone loves Pac-Man, including me. At least it’s something to do than hear you go on and on about not winning Lise’s heart. Please, you had it! You just have absolutely no faith in yourself. At least I could have fun with a digital hero who has enough faith in himself to go chase after something… even if they are multi-colored ghosts.”

“So you’re saying given the choice, Lise would have picked Pac-Man over me?”

“Stop trying to keep digging your hole deeper and deeper Doug. You think Pac-Man has ever complained that he’s too simple? That he isn’t the best looking video game hero? That he isn’t the smartest video game hero out there? All he does is go in one direction and munch away at anything in his path.”

“He’s probably too busy eating to say so.”

“Damn it Doug! Look at how many people there are over there in line waiting so patiently to let Pac-Man munch his way to victory. The game has been around for 25 years. We’ve got video games in 3-D, video games in millions of colors, video games that are so realistic that you couldn’t tell the difference between fantasy and your cruel reality. Yet everyone still loves Pac-Man so much that they gladly wait in line for his simplicity.”

“What does this have to do with anything?”

“Everyone loves Pac-Man for how simple it is rather than the complexities that reality-like games possess. Maybe you should give yourself credit and take a shot to think that perhaps Lise would be in that line to play a simple game that still brings a smile to her face.”

“How do you know she would want to play Pac-Man?”

“She was having a great time arguing over Ernie Hudson.”

As depressed as I was, and as angry I was, I couldn’t even argue with Rocco. He was right. “So what, I’ll probably never see her again so what does it matter. She’s back at that bar in Boston, I’m on my way to home to Hartford.”

“There’s another bus heading back to Boston in twenty minutes. Give it a shot, what do you have to lose besides years of moping at the expense of my insanity.”

“But what if she really just wants this other guy? I mean I can’t even hold a candle with him.”

“She was so much happier to be talking to you than this other guy. It was you that let her get away. Try thinking the other way around for once. Pac-Man wouldn’t have allowed that.” He shook his head at me almost in disbelief. “Well you’ve got to make a decision Doug, our bus just pulled up.”

I gave another look to the line that seemed to keep growing and growing. Everyone loves Pac-Man, but I don’t want anyone, I just want Lise. “Why don’t you get on that bus, I have to go buy a ticket back to Boston.”

“For once man, you’ve finally turned a corner.” He smiled. “Would you rather I sit here and wait for a call from you? I’m sure you could get to Boston and find her by the time I get a chance to play a game.”

“Nah, just go back to Hartford. With a little luck I’ll convince her to join me on a bus to Providence tonight.”