The Eastern Western

The Eastern Western
by Magnesiumoid

In a small californian mining town, 10 miles off of sacremento, lived around 90 people who seemed rather cut off from the rest of society. Most were pretty sure they hadn't changed like the rest of the country did, because they had steam engined trains that led in circles around their one town and there were people riding horseback everywhere. You could even say it was one of those 1890s western towns.
One man who lived there went by the name Greenfoot, because he had no shoes on and he had some bad athelete's foot. People could usually tell it was him just from a single glance because he was the only one there who wore a bright yellow mask and had a large "44" painted on both sides of his horse.
Something would happen one day in December that would change his life forever. This is the story, of Greenfoot.

Greenfoot had been riding his horse along the railroad tracks, he started facing the other side. He said to himself "Wonder what's on them other side of thems traintracks?". Of course he thought it over alot, then he decided he was going to find out once and for all. He rode over those tracks I tell ya! And he didn't look back! He rode on for many days and many nights, until finally, he found his sign. "Welcome to Kansas" the sign read, "Well I'll be darned if I'm not in good ol' Kansas!" said Greenfoot.

He had already gone that far!? That just doesn't make sense, know what i'm sayin'? Well anyways, that very day on december 20th, Greenfoot saw his first ever piece of modern-day technology. As he approached the highway, he was just amazed at how many cars there were, little did he know, that most of the people in them were staring at his shoeless, Fungi plagued foot, which was now rotting may I add. After about 3 hours of this, Greenfoot rode on, and on december 24th he made it to Pennsylvania. "Welcome to Pennsylvania." the sign read, "Wow!" said Greenfoot "more of them horseless carriages!"

Greenfoot woke up on christmas day, he found, for some reason, a wrapped gift under his horse. He opened it up, "Its a turd!" He said over enthusiastically. Just then he realized he was still half asleep, when he fully woke up, he found his head under his horse, covered in the brown fudge. "Well this sure be a crappy Christmas." he said. And once more, he rode on, although traveling the roads was much harder on christmas, he still looked rather awkward being that he was the only one on the highway riding a horse, plus with the number 44 written on it and his bright yellow mask, he stood out like sore thumb.

He managed to make it to New York on January 16th, but of course he had trouble getting used to the 21st century, (random quotes from his day in NYC) "This is a nice eatin' place 'n' all, but whers the outhouse?" "Look, I know you is callin' it a cherry picker, but that cat ain't no cherry!" Etc.
When finally the first snowfall came the next day, Greenfoot was more amazed with this than he was with the cars and the toilets and such. "Well i'll be darned, whats that white stuff?" he asked out loud "You idiot! Its snow!" shouted some dude in a purple hat and robe. As we all know, even if it didn't snow in california, Greenfoot never believed anyone about snow, so this came as a new thing to him.
Soon enough, it was absolutely covered in snow, around 5 feet everywhere!
Greenfoot was scared, "WE IS ALL GO'INS TO DIE!!!" he screamed. So in a matter of minutes in which he spent doing that, an ambulence arrived with two muscular men driving. They came out and started dragging Greenfoot away, "Wwwwwwait! What'd I do!?" he screamed frantically, "Pullin' a number 117, failure to communicate!" And the man in the purple hat and robe started laughing,
"Mwa hahahahahahaha, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!" Then the ambulence drove off to the mental home and was eventually taken hostage by Osama Bin Laden, who dropped him off a plane and he then landed on a frate ship. He woke up next to 5 men in orange jump suits, only to find that he had one too.

"Where am I!?" he yelled, "Prison ship 527, this is where they dump all the supporters of Kerry and Gore, Bush's new law!" said a guy in a Black jump suit.
"Supperter of whut?" lastly said Greenfoot.

THE END

778 Words (stupid forum rules!)