My Thoughts, My Life

Most people do not understand this poem of mine, so I'll try to explain what was going through my head at the time. I was sitting in my class and was listening to everyone gossiping about their friends who they just saw. I find that so hypicritical, I don't believe in talking about people behind their backs, it's just wrong. So maybe now you might understand because I hear the gossip about myself and that is why I am paranoid, and sick of everyone around me.

Fallen Angel



So sick
And paranoid,
Of all this
Bullshit.

ﻷﻷ

Never-ending,
It leaves me
Weary and in
Disgust.

ﻷﻷ

Secrets spread
Around like fire.
A blaze that burns
Away my skin.

ﻷﻷ

All that is left is
Bone of my history.
Memories that
Haunt me.

And forever will.





This is for my father... and other things


All In a Days Work


I try to hide it,
but can't deny it.
There's something inside,
that even I
don't understand.
Thought it would help
but always goes away.
(Or comes back)
Why is it a lie?
Why can't it just go away
leave my heart alone.
I know it'll keep beating
on its own.
I watch you leave,
but don't cry.
I will always have the memories.
Though I do wish I could change all this.
But as winter comes,
I know
that nothing will exist.
Take it away,
I don't need that shit,
but always crave it.
So misleading,
this fantasy I believed in.
Should've known better.
Throw me off,
kick me down,
Go on, push me around.
I don't feel you
anymore.
I reach to the sky,
but no reply
She needs a savior
She feels herself
almost fading away.
She sees daylight
in the distance
All erased, ready to
begin a new day
Night is still long ways away.
Grip my hand,
I'll make you feel
at home.
Or let's just go,
drive until moonlight shows.
My heart is pure,
I swear.
Please forgive me,
I know not of what
I am doing.
Don't know if
I will let go.
My other half,
my shadow that
pulls at me.
The fading light
from my eyes.
Why can't it
just make sense?
Why don't you
Give it a rest.
Until we meet again
Babyluv





***



Coloured sky,
starlight eyes.
She's in a daze
Thought it'd be different.
A senseless hypocrite,
The tragedy queen
The whore next door.
Raise your fist,
listen to the rift.
Does it even make sense?
You're the smart one.
Can't tell,
if it's day or night,
wish it were a dream.
Then it'd be right.
I see all the store bought smiles,
don't even try,
to lie to me.
It's like a disease,
This feeling it gave me
Too late for me anyway.


***


Fly Little Butterfly, Fly


A whisper caught in my ear,
screams left in darkness
no fear.
All along, I thought I belonged.
When I just lied, cried
to be so alone
to observe my desires
to believe they actually cared.
Is it even worth understanding?
I create what I want,
what the seed grow,
feel my energy flow
until there's nothing left.
You could have lied,
left me guessing.
Too hard for you to do
It doesn't matter,
if the butterfly can't fly,
It's too beautiful for the
world anyway.
Did it even matter,
that her heart came forth,
that she cared.
Pages fly off my page,
history erases itself again.


1,2,3 Karma Release

Everything around feels so unreal,
as though, their holding me here.
I know what's right, but
Sometimes you gotta give it you all,
and take what's yours.
They all want you,
But no one can have you.
Though, I always seem to want
What I can't have,
The feeling still lies deep.
A craving, my addiction.
Feel it in your sleep, restless
As you remain, Oblivious
can't seem to feel me.
But it's mine, can't take it away
Go fucking ahead and just try,
and you'll see, I'm not so sweet.
Retreat, Inside me,
Scream, Now you see?
Believe, You're nothing and shit.
Stop acting like you're all it.
Fuck it, not even worth my time.
Soon you'll see, just what I can be
It'll all come in time.
Remember, I take what's mine,
Show others the light,
and realize the Laws of Time
(Don't forget the Laws of Three)
But you stand in my way,
Pick a fight, Hell breaks loose
Cuz I never lose, Nows
My time.