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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/991144-Tell-Me-A-Story
Rated: E · Other · Comedy · #991144
A short story about the ups and downs of a first date.
“Tell me a story Heather. Tell me something that will make me smile.” Kyle was lying on the couch looking miserable with his mountain of crumpled Kleenex next to him and a thermometer sticking out of the side of his mouth. Sitting in the chair beside him, while scribbling his image on a page in my spiral notebook, I began.
“Do you remember when we first met?” He nodded in remembrance, a dreamy look on his face. I continued.
“That morning my sister pulled my sheets from under me, flinging me onto the cluttered floor, yelling at me to get up. ‘What is it?’ I asked her stunned. She snarled at me, sticking a toothbrush into her mouth. She talked as she scrubbed, and the foam that came around the corners of her mouth made her look like a mad dog. ‘I have a date tonight.’ She said this very stiffly as if it was none of my business and I should already know. ‘Well…’ I said. ‘I don’t see what that has to do with me, Mrs. I-like-to-wake-people-up-for-no-good-reason!’ Without skipping a beat, Jamie sniffed and slashed back at me. ‘Don’t get sassy Heather. I’m not in the mood! Richie has to bring his brother along and we need you to accompany him!’ I gawked at her. ‘Me? Why me? I don’t want to go escorting a stranger around who’s probably a complete doofus just like Richie!’”
Kyle almost rolled off the couch in fits of laughter. For a second I thought he was going to have a heart attack!
“You thought my brother was a doofus!” He wheezed in, trying to catch his breath and then blew his noise again sighing.
“Yes, for a matter of fact, I did.”
“Wait a minute.” He looked irritated. “You didn’t want to go out with me?”
“No Kyle. Dating, and especially blind dating was not something I did much. It was normally forced on me by Jamie.”
“Yeah, but by the end of the night, you changed your mind, didn’t you?” Kyle had a smirk on his face, looking rather mischievous indeed!
“Kyle, don’t ruin it!.” I smiled as he sunk deeper in the couch, pouting slightly.
“On with the story.” I said. “All day my sister badgered me until I agreed to go. As soon as I did tell her I’d come, she badgered me even more.”
“How so?” Kyle asked, intrigued.
“Well, I gave in by saying, ‘Fine! I’ll see if I can put up with this knuckle head you’ve found me,’ and from that moment on my day was full of, ‘You are not seriously going to wear that are you?’ and, ‘Aren’t you going to fix your hair?’ and so on.”
Kyle smiled sheepishly, as if I was mad. I ignored it.
“Then the doorbell rang at 5 o’clock PM. It was right on the dot! Jamie screamed to me from the bathroom to get it, so, I opened the door. Richie swooped past me, greeting my parents, and you stood there on the doorstep, helplessly pathetic.”
“Helplessly pathetic?” Kyle butted in. “I must disagree! I was helplessly romantic!”
“Kyle, this is my story, now hush! As I was saying, you stood on the doorstep helplessly pathetic. After about three seconds, which is quite a long time when accompanied by awkward silence, you threw your hand at me attempting to shake it. But, alas, you were so distracted that you slammed it into the flowers, jamming your finger, and smashing my mom’s pot of petunias to the ground. I remember you sniffling under your breath as you cradled your finger and rushed toward Richie as everyone else rushed toward us to see what had happened.”
Again Kyle jumped in. “Hey! I had all the right to quote, unquote, sniffle under my breath. Heck! I was only, only…” He trailed off.
“Kyle! You were 17! You’d think you’d remember, it being only 5 years ago. My goodness! Let me continue please. You’re twisting the words.”
“I quoted you!”
“Do you want me to finish?” He nodded, again looking helplessly pathetic. “Well, Jamie came scrambling up muttering, ‘Oh dear! Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!’ as she scooped up the fragments of our old planter. Then she turned, staring at your hand and finally snapped. ‘Heather Darlington! You are such a slacker! Can’t you even find an ice pack for your date’s hand?’ Annoyed, I dragged my feet to the kitchen and handed you a fresh bag of ice. As soon as you touched it, Richie ushered us into the car. We sat in the back seat together. How thankful I was then to have an outgoing sister who wouldn’t stop talking! Finally though, we actually said something. ‘Um, I’m sorry for what happened back there.’ I could tell you were trying to be polite, but it wasn’t helping. I just shrugged. ‘I guess we got off to a bad start. I’m Kyle.’ You held out your hand for me. Fortunately your hand came accurately this time. I glanced at it, swollen and pink, and then turned my eyes back to the window.’ You tried to get my attention by grunting, and grunting some more until you got the picture. You kept fishing for a response. “Well, I don’t know your name. Tell me a little something about yourself.’ I didn’t even turn to look at you. Luckily for you, Jamie turned around, flicked me in the ear and told you what must have been my whole life’s story. Oh how dreadful it was! I don’t remember the rest of the ride though, considering it was awfully quiet between the two of us.”
“You know,” Kyle said, interrupting once again. “I remember quite a bit. You see, after that we sat there and…”
“Kyle!” I cut him off. “That’s your story! Let me finish, for goodness sakes! You have no patience! So, we got to the restaurant and I stormed past everyone to the counter. As the lady was asking how many of us there were, you pushed in. ‘There’s three of us,’ you said. I looked at you, dumbfounded. ‘Three?’ I asked. ‘Yeah,’ you said. ‘There’s me, you, Richie, and Jamie.’ I stared at you in unbelief. ‘Are you seriously that much of an idiot.’ You looked hurt, and shook your head, so I told the lady for you. ‘I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with this guy. There’s four of us.’ So we were led to our booth. As much as I tried to end up anywhere other then beside you, I failed. We sat and stared at our menus. You were practically drooling, and when the waitress came to set down our water you began to order. She looked at you. ‘I’m sorry sir, but I’m not ready to take your order yet.’ You gawked at her and shouted, ‘This is horrible service!’ As you said that you swung your arm up in an outraged gesture, knocking one of the glasses out of her hands and into my lap. You watched me apologetically. I began to yell. ‘Staring is not going to fix it you block head. Excuse me, I’m going to the bathroom.’ I jumped over you and went to clean up.”
“I remember you jumping over me,” Kyle added. “I thought it was amazing. While you were gone, and I was muttering about it, you’re sister told me you were the champion hurdler of the West Ridge High School track team.” I smiled at Kyle.
“Yes. She liked to brag about me. Although I annoyed her, she was very proud. Let me get back to the story. I dried my jeans off as much as possible and sat back down complaining. “I think we should call it a night,” I said annoyed. Jamie and Richie both shook their heads and you looked back at me. I remember you saying, ‘Things will get better. I promise.’ I laughed at you and shook my head too. You stared down at the table until the waitress came back. ‘Now I will take your order.’ She seemed frustrated. Everyone got something except me. She nodded and walked off. Concerned, you spoke up, ‘Are you sure you’re not hungry? You’ve got to eat you know!’ I smiled sarcastically and focused on what was out the window. That’s all I did throughout dinner until you tried to force-feed me your fajitas. At one point you got one in my mouth, scalding my tongue. I yelped and you looked back down at the table ashamed. ‘I’m sorry,” you said. Fortunately the rest of dinner went without any mishaps and we were off to the bowling alley.”
“You were very reluctant to continue with the date. It took your sister 20 minutes to convince you that things might get better.” I grimaced at Kyle.
“Are you going to let me finish this, or not?” He nodded.
“Yes. Sorry Heather.”
“Ok. Well, after a 5-minute silent ride, we reached the bowling alley. I begged my sister to let me sit out of the game, but she said that was no fun and bought me some bowling shoes, and found me a suitable ball. I sat on the bench at our lane, and you went up taking my ball, saying yours was too small. You got a strike right off the bat and came to sit across from me. I looked up at you, finally intrigued for the first time that night. ‘Do you bowl often,’ I asked. ‘Yes.’ I was surprised you didn’t say more, but I decided you were tired of trying to do anything because you kept screwing everything up. ‘Are you on a team?’ I asked yet again. ‘Yes.’ I looked you up and down, still intrigued, but now ticked off. ‘Why won’t you talk to me?’ You threw a burning glance my way, then back toward Richie who was helping Jamie bowl. ‘Why are you so inquisitive?’ you replied. That comment made me extremely angry, but I went along with the game. ‘Why are you so immature, Kyle?’ You glared at me. ‘Because I can be.’ I sat back in my chair, furious. Your angry stare soon softened though and your eyes began darting around the room again. ‘I’m sorry,’ you managed to say. ‘I’m just upset that I’m such a lousy guy.’ This felt sorry for you. ‘You’re not lousy. You’re just obnoxious.’ You looked sad. ‘Exactly my point.” You spoke in a whisper. ‘It’s your turn.’ I got up and reached out for the ball, but before I got a grip on it you let go, dropping it on my toe. I bounced around the room on one foot, squealing. You jumped up dramatically, apologizing. ‘I’m done!’ I shouted. Jamie ran up. ‘No Heather! It’s all right! He’s sorry! Come on! Don’t ruin this for me. Please.’ I felt bad about being such a jerk all night, so once the pain died somewhat, I walked to the lane. I stared down the pins and let the ball fly. All 9 pins went down for a strike. I walked back to the bench, strutting like I was the Queen of England. You stared at me. ‘You bowl?’ you asked, excitedly. ‘Yes, I do.’ You grinned and leaned back watching Richie make a spare.”
I paused my story a little while to watch Kyle grin again. It looked exactly like the one I was picturing in my head, that night 5 years ago. His smile always lit up his face. I would never of guessed that he had a fever of 100 if it weren’t for the cold cloth on his head.
“Continue please.” He sounded so adorable, so I did.
“After bowling was over, we walked to the parking lot and Richie was watching you. You studied your shoes as you began your big speech. ‘I know I was a horrible date, and my car is here because Jamie said after the night was over we’d probably want to split up. You know, Richie and her go somewhere together, and we take my car somewhere. But by now you probably don’t want to spend another minute with me, so you’ll probably want a ride home from my brother.’ I looked at your downcast face, and then to my pleading sister. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ You looked up, studying me now. ‘What do you mean?’ you asked, confused. ‘I mean come on. Let’s go. Get your keys and let’s go!’ That was the first time I ever truly saw you smile as you grabbed my wrist and pulled me to your car. I hopped in and you started the engine and turned to me. ‘Where to?’ I thought for a second. ‘It doesn’t really matter. Let’s just drive.’ So we did. We drove to the outskirts of town, finally having good conversations about sports, food, and movies. At one point we were silent though. You seemed collective. I felt like I was at a loss for words. Like I had already known you all my life and I had nothing left to say. ‘Listen,’ you said. I strained my ears. ‘Do you want to know a secret?’ I nodded and you hummed a little and then began to sing in your smooth, strong voice. ‘Doo dah doo. Do you promise not to tell? Whoa-oh-oh. Closer. Doo dah doo.’ At this point you were parking the car. ‘Let me whisper in your ear. I’m in love with you! Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh.’ I laughed. ‘Oh come on Kyle. Let me know your secret and stop stalling with old Beatle lyrics. You smiled even more which seemed impossible. ‘Ok,’ you said. ‘Come here.’ Exasperated I leaned in so you could whisper, even though there was no one to hear it. I waited, and finally you said. ‘Guess what.’ I sighed dramatically. ‘Come on Kyle! What is it?’ I could tell you were grinning from ear to ear now. ‘I just told you!’”
I laughed under my breath, fondly remembering the moment, rolling it over and over in my head. I looked at Kyle who was again, smiling on his couch. He turned to look at me.
“Thank you Heather. That story really made me smile.” I nodded, knowing that it had. “Do you remember what you said after that?” he added, questioningly. I nodded again.
“I said, ‘I love you too.’”
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