Changing Hearts pt 5-8

Heres the next couple of chapters! Thanks to all you who have the stamina to keep reading! :) If you want to read this story in chapter form you can find it at http://www.fictionpress.com/~gypsylowe! I have up to chapter 13 posted there, I just don't have the time to do all the formatting necessary to get them up here yet! :( I'll get them up soon though!

Chapter Five

          Hearing the knock on the front door I quickly check my hair, again, before opening the door to reveal Deegan smiling at me. He looks even more amazing than I remember; his hair has that same spiked look as it did yesterday. He has a black NOFX tee shirt on that is tight in all the right places and baggy jeans, but not the supremely baggy kind that barely stay on.

"Hey" he greets me "You look really great" Good, it took me an hour to decide what to wear. I tried everything from dressy to laid back, but I ultimately decided to go for comfort. I love the dark blue flare jeans and my red Emily the Strange t-shirt that I am wearing; it's my favorite outfit.

"Thanks, you look pretty good yourself" I hope I'm not blushing

"So what movie did you decide on?" He asks as he opens the passenger's side door for me to get in, how sweet.

"Honestly, nothing looked overly exciting." I tell him as he shuts my door "What do you want to see?" I ask when he gets in and starts the car

"Well, I was actually thinking that we could go get something to eat and have a picnic type in Hyde, instead of a movie"

"Yeah, that sounds even better," today is going to be great

         The day turned out to be amazing, Deegan is great to be around. We walked around the city for a few hours talking and getting to know each other. We went to a really small deli, hidden behind tall corporate buildings and skyscrapers, where Deegan bought us dinner. We continued to talk the entire walk from the deli to the park. Deegan was great, he talked about himself, not compulsively, and he asked a lot about me.
         I learned a lot about him as we made our way to the park. The most important fact being he did not have a girlfriend. Yeah! I discover that he was in his first year at the University of Chicago, majoring in Sociology. Oh my can we say score? I snagged a college guy! He currently lives on-campus, in one of the residential halls called Pierce Tower. He looks so cute when he talks about his classes, his eyes sparkle with excitement and you can totally tell he loves college.
         He also told me a lot about his family, it was weird for me to hear that they are so close. No one I know has a close relationship with their family, so I guess I always thought it was just something you see on TV not in real life, but from the way he talked about this parents and siblings it was evident he cared a great deal about them. At nineteen, Deegan is the oldest of the three children in his family, his little sister, Adaleigh, is six and his brother, Shea, is fourteen. His parent's, Gerald and Aimee, both work steady jobs. His mother is a partner in a small law firm and his father works in the sports bar that he inherited from his dad, Deegan's grandfather. They sound so nice and I understand why he turned out being so kind and sweet, they taught him well.
         When we finally made it to the park, he found a perfect spot, in the shade provided by a large tree, for us to sit under and eat. Dinner was a little weird at first, because I always feel stupid eating in front of guys I like, but after a few minutes it wore off and I felt totally comfortable with him. We had a great time, I don't think I have ever laughed so much in my life and I really needed to get out and have fun.
         We traded all kinds of stories, from the embarrassing to life changing, he is so easy to talk to its almost scary how much I revealed. I guess I didn't make to big of a fool of myself because he didn't run off screaming. After we cleaned up the wrappers from our lunch and threw them away, he directed me back towards the car.
         Before he took me home we stopped off at a local Art exhibit put on by the Art students at the University. It was really great, I've always loved going to art exhibits. When I was little my dad's brother, Uncle Henry, always took my cousins and I to them. Being here now with Deegan gave me a whole new list of reasons to fondly remember art exhibits. At one point during the exhibit, as we ventured down the narrow hall containing the portraits that was filled with people, Deegan grabbed my hand to make sure I wouldn't get separated from him in the crowd. He held my hand through the rest of the exhibit and the entire walk back to his car.          I had absolutely no objections to him not letting go of my hand, I was disappointed when we reached the car and he let go. Getting in the car I don't want to go home, this is the best first date I've ever been on and I don't want it to end. Yet as he drives to my house and we talk I know what's waiting for us, the inevitable first date kiss, and suddenly I'm excited to go home.

"So, how bout we get together one night this week?" Deegan asks as we finally arrive at my door.

"Sounds like a plan, I had a great time tonight Deegan, Thanks"

"Yeah, I had an awesome time too" He tells me leaning closer, gently placing his lips to my forehead "I'll talk to you later." And with that he was gone, leaving me feeling excited and giddy. It was definitely the sweetest first date kiss I have ever experienced. Even though it was only my third first date kiss I knew it was the best.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

"Call you me daughter? Now, I promise you. You have show'd a tender fatherly regard, to wish me wed to one half lunatic; A mad-cup ruffian and a swearing Jack, That thinks with oaths to face the matter out" I practice my lines out loud.

"Rowan, you weren't supposed to start without me! I need the practice more than you do!" Sarah's frustrated voice invades my concentration as she appears in my room.

"Sorry, I just wanted to get a feel for my part. You ready?"

"Yeah, give me a second" She digs the script from her bag "Ok, lets get started"

         Sarah and I have both decided to try out for major roles in the play our drama class is putting on. The Taming of the Shrew is one of my least favorite plays by Shakespeare, but I've decided to audition for the part as Katharina. Sarah decided that she'll try for the part of Bianca and Shawn has settled on doing the art for the props. This is our last chance to practice before auditions tomorrow during lunch and after school. Sarah's audition is during lunch, while mine is after school at four.
         The past two weeks have been both enjoyable and unpleasant. Deegan and I have been out numerous times and when we're together he makes me feel important. Shawn on the other hand has been making me uneasy and most of the time around him I feel completely nonexistent. Ever since the incident in my living room he has avoided me like the plague, he practically runs the other way when he sees me coming. When we are together he keeps the conversation impersonal and vague. It hurts to see what we've become, to watch him scurry to get away from me.
         I feel like one part of my heart has been ripped apart, while another part is being filled. I never thought that I had to lose love to gain love. I wish things weren't different; I never wanted them to change. I've tried to get the holes in our friendship mended, but when I try to talk to Shawn about what happened that night his mantra is the same, it was a huge mistake and he doesn't want to talk about it. So what am I going to do? I don't have the slightest idea as how to get things back the way they were between us.

"Rowan? Did that sound OK?" Sarah asks, oh yeah I was supposed to be listening to her

"I think it sounds good, You are ready in my opinion" a little white lie never hurt anyone, I need to pay more attention and stop getting lost in my thoughts

"Good! What's up with you?"

"Nothing, its just…has Shawn talked to you about me?"

"No, I noticed he's still distant. I don't know what his problem is; he's even been a jerk to me! He's being a jerk, at least you have me and Deegan."

"I know, it's just that Shawn's been there for so long it's strange not to be able to talk to him"

"Well he's a stubborn person, he'll get over it! What about our double date tomorrow night? Did Deegan find a friend for me?" She asks hopefully

"Yeah, his roommate, Charlie, is looking forward to tonight. I've met him a couple of times, he's really nice and not to mention cute!" I admit to her

"Good, I can't believe I'm excited for a blind date! Oh, and I get to meet Deegan for the first time. You can't keep him hidden anymore," She teases

"You’ve already met him so I'm not hiding him!" Only, I know that in a way I have been delaying activities that place Deegan and Sarah together.

         I know that it's stupid, but yet I still feel that maybe Deegan will see Sarah as my two past boyfriends did. He'll find her more attractive and interesting that I am and want to be with her instead of me. I've already lost my best friend; I can't lose my boyfriend too.

“Watching him bump into you then scurrying off so you two can talk doesn’t count as meeting him.” she says

“I know, our double will be fun” I say sounding as upbeat as I can with out being suspicious

“Anyways, I have to get home. I'll see ya tomorrow morning," She says as she gathers her stuff and leaves my room

"School, great" I flop into my bed and close my eyes.

         I'm tired of school; it's like a prison that traps me in with Shawn and his looks of irritation. The only things that I have to look forward to are the play, Deegan, and Christmas break. Its pathetic, I have to talk to Shawn tomorrow. I want my best friend back, only I don't know how to get him back. It's not like I hated the kiss and wished it had never happened, I did enjoy it and I even was a little happy that he kissed me. However, I'm with Deegan now and I really do like being with him. Can you be in love with two guys at once? I don't want to be in love with Shawn, I want us to go back to being friends. Sighing I slowly drift off to sleep, dreaming of what may happen tomorrow.

* * * * * * * * * * * *


Chapter Six

         Dropping my bag into the seat next to me, I relax into the auditorium chair and wait for Sarah's turn to audition. Well so much for trying to talk to Shawn today, so far he has stayed out of my path of conversation. This is pathetic; my life feels like some cheesy soap opera! I have to get things back on track; I'm tired of living on the set of 'Days Of Our Lives.' I'm jolted out of my daydream of what my life would really look like on a soap opera, by the sound of someone sitting in the seat next to me.

"Hey" Shawn greets me.

"Wow" I say looking at him

"What?"

"Your actually talking to me, is the plague gone? Am I cured?"

"Ha ha, very funny"

"I'm not kidding, why the sudden urge to stop ignoring me?" Well, so much for talking things out rationally, I'm pissed. Don't I have the right to be mad though? I mean he was the one who kissed me and he is the one avoiding me.

"Look Row, I'm sorry ok? I just didn't know what to say to you and it was easier to run away" He tells me honestly "I'm sorry about that night, it's just some of the guys were harassing me about you and so I tested the waters, wanting to see if maybe they were right"

"So you were a jerk about Deegan, kissed me, and then avoided me like the plague because your other friends were teasing you about being friends with me?" I return my eyes to the male onstage auditioning for one of the female parts; it's scary how good his drag outfit looks on him.

"Yeah I was a jerk. I'm really sorry Rowan; please can we get past this? I don't feel right not having you around."

"I know what you mean, friends again?"

"Yeah" he replies just as Sarah's name is announced for her audition "Hey, it's Sarah's turn"

         As I watch Sarah's audition, I begin to feel like my old self again. I have my best friend back, a boyfriend, and a possible lead role in a play. Maybe I was just over reacting earlier, things don't seem that bad now. I was worrying for no reason, Shawn and I are friends again and the incident is put into the past where it belongs, at least I think so. Sarah's audition went really well, she was really happy with how it turned out, I'm still nervous about mine. Sitting through my last three classes has been torment, I'm nervous and I just want to get the audition part over. Auditions for me are the worst part, I'm more nervous during them than I am on opening night. As the bell rings at 2:15, releasing a mass of students from our last classes of the day, my nerves go into overdrive. I hope I do well.

"So are you ready?" Sarah asks as we walk out of class and towards the auditorium.

"Yeah, I guess. I know my lines, but this is the worst part for me"

"You're going to be great," Shawn, says as we enter the auditorium "don't worry about it" yeah like that's possible.

"Rowan Silverton" I hear my name over the speaker, announcing that the wait is over and now I must audition. My friends usher me to the stage with words of encouragement. Taking my spot in the light I begin reciting my part. Once I get into my role, I forget about the judging teacher and competing students, focusing only on the task at hand. I run through the dialogue flawlessly and rather well, if I do say so myself. As I finish I take my bow and exit the stage, giving access to the next competitor.

"See you did great" Sarah says as soon as I step off the stage.

"You looked awesome up there Row" Shawn says while wrapping his arms around me, pulling me into a hug. It was nice; it felt like things were normal again.

"Well, mister cold shoulder it looks like you have melted" Sarah tells Shawn as he lets go of me.

"Sarah." he begins, irritation evident in his eyes

"Anyways," I cut him off before he can finish that sentence "Sarah and I are going out with Deegan and one of his friends tonight, you want to come?"

"Um." he hesitates "Yeah, it'll be fun. Would it be ok if...I mean do you guys mind if I bring someone?" What??

"Uh no, it's fine" I try to wipe the shocked expression off my face. Since when has he been interested in someone? Who is he interested in and why?

"Shawn? Have you been keeping someone from us? What is it with you two? Jeez, I'm beginning to think that you both are embarrassed to have your significant others meet me! First Rowan keeps Deegan hidden, now you Shawn! Who is she?"

"It's no big deal Sarah and I haven't been keeping her hidden, we haven't been out on an actual date yet." Shawn replies, finding his shoes fascinating.

"Who is it?" Sarah asks, emphasizing each word

"Zandra Lewis"

"Zandra? As in the 'I'm so much better than you and I live my life to make yours miserable,' Zandra?" I asked stupefied, didn't he tell me that Deegan was just a rich, preppie? Zandra is one of the richest girls in our school and she thinks that she is the queen of the world. When she got in caught drinking and driving last year, her punishment from daddy dearest was the removal of her personal condo and she had to move into the family home. I mean come on, her family lives in a twelve-bedroom house, yeah that's really a punishment. I can't believe this!

"I know, I know. Zandra isn't my usual type but hey, I'm in the mood for someone different and besides she's not as much of a snob once you get to know her"

"Can we say cliché?" Sarah tells Shawn "What are you going to tell us next? She has a heart of gold and it's not the real her that we see in school, it's just an act she puts on? Give me a break!"

"Whatever, I'm not in the mood to debate it with you. You can see for yourself tonight. What time?"

"Seven at my house" I tell him, before turning to walk off.

         Well I guess I was wrong when I thought things were getting back to normal. Shawn has obviously developed a new type of girls that attract him. I don't understand, why is it ok for him to date someone like that, but he didn't want me to date Deegan and Deegan is nothing like he thought. Suddenly I find myself irritated once again. I don't know what's going on anymore, one day I think I am falling for Shawn and the next day I want to smack him. Things are not going well, I hope that they don't get even worse when Deegan meets Sarah. I'm probably worrying for no reason, god I'm becoming a pessimist.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

"Hey, do I look ok?"

"Sarah, you always look great," I tell her, trying not to sound pissed, but I'm nervous. I shouldn't be jealous of her she's my other best friend, but I am. I just want something to go correctly in my life and I'm really not in the mood to lose another boyfriend to Sarah. I know that Sarah would never do that, but still I worry that there might be a chance it could happen.

"Yeah well, I don't see it" She replies as she checks her reflection in the mirror for the millionth time. "Where are they? It's Six-thirty, didn't you tell Deegan to meet us here now?"

"Yep, they're two minutes late Sarah"

"Five by my watch" She says teasingly as the doorbell rings

"Ready?" I say reaching for the doorknob

"No…ok…yeah"

"Hey" I greet Deegan as he and Sarah's dark haired date enter the house

"Hey Sunshine," Deegan greets me, kissing my head and slipping his arm around my waist.

"Sarah this is Deegan, Deegan this is Sarah" I introduce, Carefully observing Deegan as his eyes settled on Sarah. I half expect his eyeballs to register 'Gorgeous Girl' in dark black letters, like the Sevens on a slot machine, but to my surprise his eyes don't bulge out of his head like I had dreamt they would.

"Nice to meet you" he tells her "This is Charlie" He introduces the six foot, muscular male lingering behind him.

"Hi" He greets, holding his hand out to Sarah. "Rowan's told me lots about you" he says with a sly smile, a smile that makes even me wonder what I told him.

         Charlie is normally a fairly reserved person, but spending time around him and Deegan has revealed that his shyness wears off after awhile. Due to the fact that he keeps to himself a lot, it took me about a week to get him to agree to the date with Sarah. Seeing the tension and nervousness hidden in his dark green eyes, which is mirrored in Sarah's awkward glances, makes me wish I knew to way to break the ice.

"This is uncomfortable" Deegan announces, after a few moments of silence

"Yeah" Sarah agrees

"So what do you guys want to do?" I ask, ushering them into the living room.

"How bout we go to Club Rave?" Deegan suggests as he drops onto the couch, pulling me into his lap.

"Yeah, sounds good" Charlie says, while Sarah nods

"So, when's you other friend and his date going to be here?" Deegan asks as Charlie and Sarah begin talking quietly.

"At seven, so what do you think of Charlie and Sarah together?"

"You did good. Come on" he pushes me up and towards the back door "I think they need some alone time"

"They need some alone time? Looks more like you wanted some alone time" I say as soon as we step off the porch and into the overgrown backyard.

"Damn straight" he tells me before closing the distance between us.

         As his arms wrap around my waist and he pulls me closer, all the feelings I had of inadequacy go flying out the window. The passion and hunger in his kiss reveals something to me that I hoped for, he cares about me! I happily deepen the kiss, gently opening my mouth and allowing his tongue access. As his hands explore my body, I also use the moment to investigate his body. His hand finds it's way under my Less Than Jake tee shirt, but to my dismay we are interrupted but the doorbell.

"Hey" he moans as I pull away, straightening my shirt

"They're early," I say after checking my watch

"Couldn't they have been late?"

"Come on" I command, pulling him toward the house by his shirt

"Feisty tonight, aren't we?" Is the last thing I hear him say to me before entering the house, where I see Shawn with Zandra clinging to his side. Her bright blue tube top and extremely short jean skirt make me once again realize how much I hate her.

"So we're going to Club Rave?" Shawn asks, his eyes scrutinizing Deegan and I. What no hello, or introductions?

"Yep" I can't say anything else

"Shawn this is Charlie and..." Sarah says directing their attention to Deegan "That's Deegan." Shawn greets Charlie politely, but he only curtly acknowledges Deegan. I'm not in the mood for this tonight. Is he still going to act all high and mighty towards Deegan when he's dating the tramp extraordinaire?

"Can we leave now?" Zandra's bored voice pipes up for the first time

"You guys ready?" Shawn asks

"I think so," I tell them, handing Deegan his keys that he had sat on the counter

"Finally, we'll meet you there" Zandra tells us, practically yanking Shawn out the door

"Um…ok" Sarah says with a confused look "Just an act that we see at school, huh? I knew that girl was always a bitch. I guess that it's just us four then"

         As we pile into Deegan's jeep I try to block all thoughts of Shawn from my head. I have been thinking about him way too much lately and its time to stop. He is with Zandra, although I have no idea why, and I am happily with Deegan. I'm going to get things to go back to the way that they were before, even if it's this complicated!

* * * * * * * * * * * * *



Chapter Seven

"I saw his car in the lot" Sarah says after a few minutes of trying to locate Shawn "I'm not in the mood to look for him! He's not going to ruin my fun! Just let him hang out with Zandra, I'm just glad that we're not the ones who are going to be seen in public with her!" with that she and Charlie head to the dance floor.

"You know" Deegan starts "Sarah's pretty cool, but I think your friend Shawn isn't very fond of me"

"He's been a jerk lately, I don't know what his problem is"

"I do, anyways my girl lets dance"

         Two and a half hours later, we meet up once again with Sarah and Charlie. Finding an empty table we all drop into our seats, hot and sweating from dancing. I saw Shawn a few times, but only long enough to get appalled by Zandra's style of dancing. All right, no more thinking of Shawn, I'm having a good time and I don't want to ruin it. For never having set anyone up before, I am feeling quite sure of my abilities. Sarah and Charlie are perfect together, he makes he laugh and is so sweet to her. I'm glad for them, after the Brandon mess Sarah has not been her usual self. She hates that Brandon told her that everyone said she was easy, she may not be a virgin but she's not a whore. Every guy that has asked her out since then has met rejection, she's afraid that they just think she's an easy, good time.

"I'm beat" Deegan tells me

"Ditto" I hear Charlie say on behalf of both, Sarah and him

"Yeah me too, lets get out of here." I suggest

         Once in the car, heading back to me house, I reflect on the evening. I really had a great time, well if you forget about Shawn and Zandra. Suddenly, I remember my conversation with Deegan from earlier. How does he know what Shawn's problem is, I've known Shawn for a long time and I still am confused. As the car stops in my driveway I make a mental note to ask him about it. Opening the front door I turn on the lights, thankful that I have the house to myself this weekend.

         My mom had to fly into New York City; she's trying to get sponsors for the small private school she opened in a low- income area, for Preschool through 2nd grade children. The problem is the company previously sponsoring the school, decided to cut back some of its spending and walked away from the school. The school only has about twenty- five students in total enrolled and now money is beginning to run low. Mom wants to be able to provide the schooling and she's trying to make it possible to get all necessary supplies provided. The school is only open to kids whose parents are in a financial hard spot and having to close it would be devastating.

"Tired" I say aloud as my fatigued body lands on my bed

"We're going to hang out on the back porch, ok Rowan?" Sarah tells me looking knowingly at Charlie

"Okay" Hang out? More like make out!

"Alone again" Deegan says as his equally drained body cuddles next to me

"Hey" I say remembering "What did you mean when you said that you know why Shawn's been a jerk lately?"

"Come on Rowan, it's not like you don't know" he tells me pulling away and sitting up

"No I don't"

"Its obvious"

"What is?"

"He's got a thing for you" he tells me, looking straight into my eyes

"What? Deegan you have seriously misunderstood something" He can't be right

"No sunshine, I don't think that I have. He likes you"

"What exactly makes you think that?"

"Well I can think of a few reasons. A.) He's cold to me because I'm the one with you, B.) He was staring at you every time I saw him tonight and C.) It's obvious he only asked that Zandra girl out to get your attention."

"All of those can be easily explained. He's been bitchy to all of us not just you, maybe he was staring at that girl that was dancing next to us, and as for Zandra I would never be jealous of her and he knows that." I say standing up

"Rowan open you eyes, the guy is hot for you!" His now frustrated voice tells me

"Deegan, no he's not" I'm not in the mood to hear this now; maybe three weeks ago I would have felt differently about it, but not now.

"Why would I lie about this? I mean having to compete with your best friend isn't something that I want, so why would I tell you that?"

"You don't have to compete with Shawn"

"Yeah, well it felt like it tonight" he says standing up too

"Deegan, I was with you the whole time; not off flirting with Shawn"

"It wasn't you Sunshine, it's just every time I caught him watching you I felt like I could easily lose you to him" he tells me, tucking a stray piece of hair behind my ear

"You couldn't, Shawn is just my friend" right?

"Yeah well, the way that he looks at you it seems like there was something between you two"

"Well." I hesitate "at one time I thought there might be something, but then you came along and I realized that I was completely wrong. I like being with you, there is no reason for you to worry about Shawn coming between us." I hope the last part is true.

"Good, cause I care about you too" He says before kissing me

         I don't think that I could ever get tired of him kissing me, but I'm still a little worried about what he said. Could Shawn have really liked me? He said that kissing me had been a huge mistake; if he liked me then he wouldn't have said that right? I don't know what to think anymore when it comes to Shawn.
         Focusing on the moment at hand, I push thoughts of Shawn out of my head and allow Deegan to deepen our kiss. As his hands once again begin to explore my body, I find myself unbuttoning his shirt and sliding my hand under the fabric. Caressing his soft, muscular chest, he moans into my mouth. He manages to maneuver us toward the bed while not breaking the amazingly sweet kiss. Slowly lowering myself to the bed I try not to lose contact with his bare skin. Discarding of his shirt, he shifts his body on top of mine, his lips finding my neck. The feeling of his lips and hands on me sends my senses into high gear, I never felt like this when any of my past boyfriends tried to get frisky.

"You taste good" he tells me braking away for a moment

         As his lips once again reclaim mine and his hand finds its way under my shirt, I allow my hands to make their way down to the waist of his jeans. Pulling on the button, it quickly comes apart and allows my hands access to the zipper. As the zipper gives way, graciously allowing my hand an entrance, my body is filled with excitement and anticipation. Reaching for the waistline of his boxers, I feel his hand grab mine.

"Are you sure you want to do this now?" His flustered voice asks. His breathing is heavy and I can see the longing in his eyes "Don't get me wrong I really want to, but what if Sarah and Charlie come back?" Damn, he makes a good point.

"I want you," As soon as I say it, I feel his desire against my thigh grow harder "but you're right. I want our first time together to be special, I don't want to spend it worrying if someone is about to walk in"

"Do you have any idea what you do to me?" he asks, rolling off me and into the spot beside me

"I have a pretty good idea," I tell him, eyeing the tent that has formed in his pants.

"Oh" he says, his face turning red as I get up and beginning to put my missing clothing back on.

         After gathering our selves together, we head down stairs. On the couch we find Sarah and Charlie locked in a massive make out session, that's quickly gaining heat. Well, I'd say that they definitely hit it off. Interrupting them is quite interesting; their looks of embarrassment must be what Deegan's and mine would have looked like if they had walked in on us. All in all I'd say it has been a very interesting day, a day that I wouldn't mind repeating.

* * * * * * * * * * * *


Chapter Eight

"Finally, we're done" Sarah says, completely worn out from the play

"I know, this play is tiring after awhile." I agree, handing my costume from the performance to Janine, the costume designer, for the final time.

"I thought it would be fun, but after all the practices and now eight performances I'll be happy never to hear anything about this play again." Sarah says as we exit the auditorium

         After four and a half months, the play is completely over with. Sarah and I both landed the roles that we had studied and tried out for. It was great having Sarah working on the play too, she was the only one of the cast I could stand to be around. This was the first play that Sarah has ever had a lead role in, but it was my third lead role. I don't think that I have ever gotten as irritated and annoyed with a play as I have this one. Thus for the first time, I find myself glad that the play has come to an end.

"It's our very own stars of the stage" I hear Shawn's voice as we walk to the car where Shawn, Deegan, and Charlie sit. Behind them, on the hood of the car sits Allie, Shawn's new girlfriend of about two months. He dumped the whore, Zandra, after he caught her basically having sex with another guy in the parking lot that night at Club Rave. Allie on the other hand is someone I actually like and I'm glad that he's dating her instead of some cheerleading tramp.

"Of course, shouldn't you all be bowing to us?" I tell them teasingly

"Oh goddess of the stage, please attend the local burger joint with a lowly commoner who admires your every move" Deegan says at my feet, I can't help but burst out laughing at his acting debut.

"Get up" I saw when my laughing subsides, pulling him up

"You know I love it when you get all demanding"

"Come on, everyone's waiting" glancing at others waiting in the car

Once inside the vehicle we head to celebrate the last night of our torturous play. Snuggling up to Deegan, I reflect on how things have changed since the play began.

         When it started I had lost my best friend, Sarah was spending more and more time with Charlie and Deegan had finals so we barely got to see one another. Finally deciding that I had to do something instead of just thinking about it, I went to Shawn's one night to talk to him. That night I told him everything from the feelings and thoughts that had me thinking I possibly was crushing on him to Deegan thinking that he liked me. After two and a half hours of talking, I left with our friendship restored. He said that he had kissed me to see if what his buddies had said about us really liking one another just neither knowing how to make the first move was possibly right. After he had done it he felt like he had been the one to ruin our friendship and he didn't want to face the fact that I might hate him. It took awhile but now things feel back to normal, better than normal actually.

"Food" Sarah says grabbing a menu as she drops into the large, round booth at the restaurant

"So you guys glad the play's over?" Allie asks as she slides into the booth between Shawn and Charlie.

"I am, you try watching that play eight time" Charlie jokes

"Hey!" Sarah says, smacking him on the arm "I never said you had to come to all of the performances, I just asked if you would come to one"

"It wouldn't have been so bad, but jeez did you see those actresses? I mean they were horrible" Shawn's kidding voice says

"You're just jealous that we have star quality, not you," I tell him before my foot slams into his shin just as the waitress appears.

"She kicked me," he tells the waitress in a childish voice "I'm not going to be your friend anymore," Things are back to normal.

"Hey" Deegan whispers to me after the waitress has disappeared with our orders, allowing Sarah and Shawn to continue the banter. "I know it's a good night for you and everything, but we need to talk before you go home tonight"

"Um, ok" I whisper back, unsure of how to respond

         Something is definitely not right. I don't think anything good has ever come from the phrase 'we need to talk.' Isn't that like the absolute worst phrase that one can hear from their significant other? This can be happening, is he going to dump me? What happened? I thought things were going really good, I guess what I thought wasn't what he thought. What am I saying, I'm totally jumping to conclusions here. Maybe he just has something important that he wants to tell me like...great I can't think of anything positive. Why can't things just once work out for me? Why does everything have to turn ugly as soon as I'm starting to feel comfortable?

"Right Rowan?" Sarah's voice intercedes

"Um...Yeah" I say trying to concentrate on the conversation consuming my friends, but I can't.

         Between the awkward glances that Deegan is giving me and the uneasy comment he made earlier, I'm having a hard time thinking. When the food arrives and mine is placed in front of me I find myself nauseous, unable to breath right. I have to get out of this now tiny little booth as soon as I can, I can't think. Shoving Deegan towards the isle I tell him to move. While I head for the bathroom, I can hear Deegan and Sarah's confused voices calling after me. I don't dare stop for fear that my nervous will get their way and my insides, along with my lunch, will splatter to the floor. Pushing through the unnaturally heavy bathroom door, I find it a little easier to breathe away from the table. Entering the last stall in the empty bathroom, I lock the door behind me.

         What am I getting so worked up for? Girls get dumped all the time; I've been dumped twice already. So what's the big deal, I'll get over it and eventually be fine. Only I know that this time is nothing like the last two times, I really care about Deegan and I'm not ready for it to end. God, I feel like one of those stupid girls that cries in the halls during lunch because her boyfriend dumped her and I hate those kinds of girls, I'm usually the first to make fun of them. Nevertheless here I find myself locked in a bathroom stall at some cheesy restaurant, on the verge of tears. What is happening to me? I'm becoming more of a freak than I used to be.

"Rowan?" Sarah calls. I don't answer but her checks under the stalls reveals my hiding spot. "Rowan, are you ok?"

"Fine" I say taking a deep breath before opening the stall door

"You didn't look ok, you looked green"

"Yeah well, Suddenly I don't feel good" I tell her, stepping to look at my reflection in the cracked mirror.

"What happened?"

"Deegan." I hesitate "he's going to dump me tonight" I finally say, blinking back the tears that have begun to form.

"What? Did he actually say that he wants to break up?" She sounds stunned

"Well not those exact words, but he said 'we need to talk' tonight."

"I know it sounds bad, but maybe it's a good thing he wants to tell you"

"Can you come up with one scenario that starts with that phrase that is good?" I hope she can come up with something, I can't.

"Well." she goes silent, obviously thinking "Ok, so I can't think of anything right now, but you never know"

"Right now I would just prefer to be pessimistic, besides did you see the uncomfortable fleeting looks he was giving me? Ever since he told me 'we need to talk' he's barely spoken to me"

"Maybe he's nervous about how you've been acting since he told you that. Come on Row, the guy is crazy about you! My guess? Tonight he wants to make clear his feelings for you, I think he'll tell you he loves you."

"I thought you couldn't think of anything"

"Come on, we have to get back or they'll think we fell in"

         Taking on last deep breath I follow her back to the table, where everyone else has finished their food. After a multiple times of telling them I was fine, we clambered out to the car and headed to my house to drop Deegan and I off. I don't think that I have ever found a Styrofoam container, holding my now cold dinner, as fascinating as I did in that car. I did anything to keep my eyes from Deegan. I was afraid that if I caught one more of those awkward glances I would burst either into tears or a fountain of obscenities. I tried to convince myself that maybe Sarah's idea was right, but I knew that there was nothing good about to happen. After getting out of the car and as the vehicle began to retreat I seriously considered yelling good bye to Deegan and running inside, but my legs would not move. So I just stood there as he turned to me.

"Hey, are you sure your ok?" He asks with concern that I am positive is fake, if he's going to dump me what does he care how I am?

"Superb, never better, I'm on top of the world. There is it easier now?"

"What easier?" So he's going to play dumb?

"Whatever it is that you needed to talk to me about"

"Yeah that." he stops

"So?" I push

"Look you know I care a lot about you," he says after taking a deep breath "But the thing is." Will he just spit it out? "My uncle offered me a really great job and I really have to take it, it's not an offer I can pass up"

"Wait? You got a job? You're breaking up with me because of a job?"

"What? Who said anything about us splitting up?"

"Well." I say completely embarrassed "You made it sound so dramatic with that whole we need to talk and those uncomfortable looks. So you aren't dumping me?"

"No" Thank god, boy was I wrong "but um, the thing is the job." he trails off

"What?" I demand, this can't be good

"Well it's going to require a change of scenery"

"What does that mean?" I feel the tears I had managed to keep down resurface.

"It's in London" I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me, he's leaving

"So, you're leaving? When?" I say as the tears try to break through the boundaries of my eyes.

"Right after finals in June"

"That's in like four weeks"

"Three weeks" he corrects

"How long have you known you were leaving?" I ask, the tears have now decided to start falling and I can't stop them.

"Baby, don't cry" he says pulling me to him "I learned about the opening about a month ago, but I just got it last week. It's not a permanent move, it's only for about nine months to a year."

"A year?" I yell pulling away and throwing my cold dinner container at him "And you've known about this for a month"

"Hey" he says dodging my now lethal food "I knew about the opening, but I didn't get offered anything until last week. Rowan I need to do this, I never meant to hurt you. I don't want us to break up though." He admits, cautiously stepping closer.

"What do you want?" I ask, allowing him to take my hand and pull me back into my previous position, wrapped in his arms.

"I know it's be hard but I want to try staying together" he whispers into my hair

"London is so far away though"

"I know, but I need to do this"

"I understand" But I don't, why can't he just stay? I'm not just thinking about myself, what about his family and schooling? Cuddling closer to him, I want to remember everything about us together. I know things will never be the same, this will change our relationship forever and I'm not sure yet if it's for the better. The one thing that I have the hardest time with is change, now everything is going to change.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Changing Hearts 9-12"  13+: Parts 9-12 of Changing Hearts!



Thanks for reading!!

-Gypsy