Musings of Lonely Goddess

I'm screaming inside and cannot think
Things just aren't right
I feel weak
Weak inside
Weak on the out
I don't know what to do with myself anymore
I can't find a job
I sleep all day
I never feel "good" anymore
My heart aches
I want to cry
I want to scream
I want to sigh
I miss me
I miss who I was
Who I want to be
I want to talk to my friends
Without fearing pissing anyone off
I shouldn't be held back like this
So why do I let it happen?
Why can't I be the way I used to be?
Tall, proud, strong, unwaverying, determined
My own person
I am me and I am who I am,
I'm suprised in myself really,
I've always had a philosophy,
"Don't like me, tough shit, your problem"
So why am I not standing by that now?
Why do I hide behind in which I do not believe?
Situations that I know are wrong, and have always fought for others to stay out of?
But why am I here?
Why am I not that strong and proud dynamic person I used to be?
WTF Happened?
Why do I feel so afraid?
Why do I feel like just screaming and tearing everything to shreds right now?
I feel so guilty for so many things right now.
In what I thought was a break for freedom,
Only took me to a darker place.
I'm almost worse off now,
Kind of, but not really
I'm doing better in many ways right now
but worse in many others.