There Goes Santa Clause

There goes Santa Claus, there goes Santa Claus,
Closing down Santa Claus Lane
Vixen, Blitzen, and the other reindeer
Are grounded by arthritis pain.
No bells ringing, no carolers singing,
No one is merry and bright,
No stockings are hanging, the children are complaining
Because Santa Claus won't come tonight.

We all knew it would happen eventually. After all, the reindeer are almost a millennia old, and they've been pulling that heavy sleigh across the Earth once every year. We, the Elves, attempted to talk to Santa about the aging reindeer, but he wouldn't listen. We even got Mrs. Claus to discuss it with him, he only Po Poed her.

His answer was always the same, "The magic corn give them the power to fly and its magic well protect them from any harmful effects pulling the sleigh might cause." That may have been true in the past, not in today's world. The situation is different now. The only magic in today's world is that which can be scientifically explained. As far as I know, there is no scientific explanation for magic corn and flying reindeer.

I decided to contact a veterinarian who worked at Area 51 in Nevada. He knew about us and had the security clearance to leave Area 51 on short notice. He was appalled at the condition of the reindeer, however he promised he wouldn't contact the International Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals if I gave him the secret of how we got them to fly. I gave him some of the corn, and told him about its one disastrous side effect. It made any creature who ate incapable of producing offspring.

He went to Santa's office and gave him the bad news. None of the reindeer were capable of pulling the the sleigh again. He did have a solution. He would take the reindeer back to Area 51 and clone them. The problem was that Christmas would have to be cancelled until the new team was trained and ready to pull the sleigh. A few days latter, a troop of uniforms came from Area 51 and took all the reindeer away.

Word Count: 359