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 |   My journey through (and beyond) the valley with Cancer as my companion. |
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Dear Friend: This is not a Blog about writing! (I already have one of those.) This is a blog about a journey I am taking with illness. I have recently been diagnosed with Cancer. My goal is honest therapy as I progress through, and beyond this new reality in my life. I hope that, somewhere along the way you will find some words that will help you too. While this is, in fact, an interactive Blog, I hope that you will scroll slowly down this page. For you see, the front of this Blog IS my journey. The entries are conversations that are held along the journey.Yes, there is a lot on it--before actually getting to the Blog entries. But, I hope that by the objects and words which appear before the Blog itself, you might come to understand just a little bit about me, and my journey, and some truly amazing friends who have agreed to journey with me. I hope that you, too, will choose to accompany me on my walk--through the Valley. I invite you to join me, and discover the wondrous truths, meet some truly amazing people, and share those "memorable" moments this journey will undoubtedly present. Come along, won't you? In His Care, ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Would you like to help me help others? I found this amazing organization, and I am proud to be a sponsor. I hope you will check it out. It's called The Network For Good.  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "RISUS OMNIA - INCRUMENTUS PER DEDECUS - SAPIENTIA PER DAMNUM" ("Every thing is funny - Growth through humiliation - Wisdom through loss") ~Leunig~ The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful if there were no dark valleys to traverse. ~Helen Keller~ "If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people." ~Virginia Woolf~ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "There is strength in truth." ~The Barton Family Crest~ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” — Helen Keller, American social activist, public speaker and author (1880-1968) I have moved the list of my thanks for those who have helped to make this little Blog so very special. I hope that you will take a moment to read the list, growing every day, and let these fellow travellers along this journey know that you appreciate the contributions they make to our walk together.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Please feel free to click on the Blog Rings icon below to be transported to some of the very best of the Best Bloggers around WDC. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** If you are new to WDC, or to our Blogging community, I highly recommend the monthly edition of "The Blogville News". Feel free to click below, and let Scarlett   know that a Blogger sent ya!Hey! We've started a Christian's Blog Ring on WDC. Click on the logo, and join us! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Budroe
 Ring LeaderI have three publications at the moment. Here is a link to purchase my latest one. Buy a great read, and help a fellow writer out, Okay?  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| China vs Shikoku Islands. Russia vs. Ukraine (and World-At-Large). Road construction in the middle of my town. From the Court House to the White House, and around the world, things are changing. Not necessarily for the better, by my estimation. In a very strange perspective (admittedly), there is a tendril of commonality between these, and many other possible observable changes. I do really wonder if it is only me, and my observations. Or, is it a consensus agreement of silence? Perhaps there are others who will recognize this thread of consistency which I see, yet who do not have any idea that other observers do, as well. The thread is of the greatest concern to me, and the worst possible observation I believe I could make. Even as we consider these and many other communities, I believe we must also look at our own communities. We should begin around our own kitchen tables. We are not caring well for each other. There are things which can be legislated, or even settled via military means. There are things which cannot. We really do need, I believe, either a Primer or Refresher course in each. People are suffering, and dying close by us because of either our ignorance or our arrogance. It may well surprise you to learn that some of those very same people live within twelve blocks of your kitchen table. Statistically, that is true no matter where your kitchen table resides. The fact is, it appears as if that truth has little or no bearing on what we do once we learn it. We talk about failures of governments, or politics or religion. I think it's time we talked about our failure as people. I believe it is well past time to have this discussion. I believe I believe that as a member of an amazingly small minority. (Read this sentence as it appears; it's not an error.) Yes, there are countless examples in our communities, and especially this one, where caring for one another is apparent. Yet, even in this community, there are many who could use our help, but will not/cannot/feel uninvited to ask for it. They do not wish to hear some variation of "No!", even if it is said with best intentions. This is not a society of the fittest. If it were, I would not and could not be considered a valid member. Yet, I am the last humanoid biped to tell you this to be an uncaring community. It doesn't take a lot to help your fellow citizen. Nothing will happen without purposeful intent. You have to both choose to do it, and you also have to move, to act according to that choice. There is an ever-growing majority who choose to act with their stillness, and their silence. They must necessarily stand witness to the catastrophe occurring around them, whether they say or do anything at all. This is both a terrible trend, and a terrible observation. Upon those points I agree. I don't like seeing the trend, or speaking this particular truth. My reservoir of hope in my fellow humans is running quite low. I cannot come up with a call to action that will blast into action the indifferent, or self-indulgent I see around me with growing regularity. I see these things, and I do spend a lot of time wondering what Jesus would do in these situations. He depends upon me to do those things. I am looking around, and behind me with growing concern. I don't see allies anywhere nearby. That is just wrong. Yet, I will remain, In His Care, Budroe |
| Someone I was chatting with online today referred to herself as a "semi-professional writer". It stopped me, and we had a conversation about that. I wasn't sure what qualifications one needs in order to be a "semi-professional writer". I'm still not sure, after hearing her explanation. It seems such a transitory definition. Maybe that works for her, but I'm not much of a fan of the phrase. Yoda comes to mind. I've written a lot of words in my time. I've been told that, once you get paid for having written words, you are a professional. Everything after that is relative to the pay check. Writing professionally seems much different to me than being a professional writer. I'd like to know what you think about this. I do remain, In His Care, Budroe |
| My sister, Anne Lawson Fields departed this life on March 4th, 1967 at 1800 EST. Anne was 2 "up the ladder" from me, and was a High School Senior, Salutatorian of her class, and off to Duke in the Fall on a full ride scholarship to study Psychology. She was a beloved sister, daughter and friend, whose entire community came to grieve with her family and share her home-going. Anne had some issues that she could not, or would not dare discuss with anyone and most of all with our Father. Because of a difference of opinion one day, she became the victim of her Father's silence. The man of this life she truly adored would not speak with her--and would not allow her to speak with him. After three unrelenting days of this behavior, she walked into his back yard with a pistol, and ended her life. As tragic as this truth is even today, it is really much more tragic than this telling. I have many of these days to remember: entirely too many. Yet, with this early interaction with death, a huge portion of my life, and my living were reduced to stone. To this moment, I miss her. I love her. She knew this moments before her life ended, because I told her so. It wasn't enough to alter what I knew in my soul was about to be the beginnings of a terrible and horrific journey. I love her in this moment, as I have every moment of my life. In His Care, Budroe PS: If there is anybody in your universe that you love, respect, admire, like...tell them. You never know where they are in their world. Let them know how grateful you are to have them in yours. It might not make a difference, but it may. |
| This is just a short entry to let everyone know that I am still around. I suddenly realized that I have been able to make my calendar "Blue" exactly one time since beginning this blog. The reason it is still active is because the purpose for this journey's journal is still the same. I had to laugh as I remembered "plans and intentions" for my communicating with others. It's very strange when your communications, after these years, suddenly really is just for you. So, I don't feel so motivated? We'll see how this month goes. The radio is another communication device I use several hours weekly. I have a lot to say, about a lot of things. Some things are personal, and it is nice having a local writing access point with a supporting community of writers to share my words, and my work with. Some things are topical, temporary current events which will most likely pass within a short time, and are much better suited to the radio. At this moment (with the possible exception of the pain levels) I feel about as well as I have since this journey began. Given my personal history of finding some great days linked with some good days and a few really bad days, I have become superstitious about feeling good, and about feeling alive. Historically, doing so is a preamble to something really bad. I have some serious concerns, but this is not a place to discuss those, because others are involved. Yet, my mind is strained between not forgetting what day it is and trying to plan to do something to be alive among the land of the living without feeling like an unwelcome interloper from the land of the leaving. Winter is still here, and will be for some time. I still have a distinct dislike of Winter, and the SAD is still full bore in my world. Winter is also the time when I usually dedicate the majority of my writing to the creation of new words. That hasn't happened this Winter (so far). I hope I will find the passion and muse to create some quality new words before the Jonquils bloom. Docs are becoming more incidentally common in a nearly (but not completely) increasing regularity. After these years, I am very limited, but am thinking I would really love to experience life among the living for a bit, just to see what that is like. Doing so, I can still know that I do remain, In His Care. Budroe |
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