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 |   My journey through (and beyond) the valley with Cancer as my companion. |
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Dear Friend: This is not a Blog about writing! (I already have one of those.) This is a blog about a journey I am taking with illness. I have recently been diagnosed with Cancer. My goal is honest therapy as I progress through, and beyond this new reality in my life. I hope that, somewhere along the way you will find some words that will help you too. While this is, in fact, an interactive Blog, I hope that you will scroll slowly down this page. For you see, the front of this Blog IS my journey. The entries are conversations that are held along the journey.Yes, there is a lot on it--before actually getting to the Blog entries. But, I hope that by the objects and words which appear before the Blog itself, you might come to understand just a little bit about me, and my journey, and some truly amazing friends who have agreed to journey with me. I hope that you, too, will choose to accompany me on my walk--through the Valley. I invite you to join me, and discover the wondrous truths, meet some truly amazing people, and share those "memorable" moments this journey will undoubtedly present. Come along, won't you? In His Care, ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Would you like to help me help others? I found this amazing organization, and I am proud to be a sponsor. I hope you will check it out. It's called The Network For Good.  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "RISUS OMNIA - INCRUMENTUS PER DEDECUS - SAPIENTIA PER DAMNUM" ("Every thing is funny - Growth through humiliation - Wisdom through loss") ~Leunig~ The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful if there were no dark valleys to traverse. ~Helen Keller~ "If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people." ~Virginia Woolf~ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "There is strength in truth." ~The Barton Family Crest~ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” — Helen Keller, American social activist, public speaker and author (1880-1968) I have moved the list of my thanks for those who have helped to make this little Blog so very special. I hope that you will take a moment to read the list, growing every day, and let these fellow travellers along this journey know that you appreciate the contributions they make to our walk together.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Please feel free to click on the Blog Rings icon below to be transported to some of the very best of the Best Bloggers around WDC. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** If you are new to WDC, or to our Blogging community, I highly recommend the monthly edition of "The Blogville News". Feel free to click below, and let Scarlett   know that a Blogger sent ya!Hey! We've started a Christian's Blog Ring on WDC. Click on the logo, and join us! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Budroe
 Ring LeaderI have three publications at the moment. Here is a link to purchase my latest one. Buy a great read, and help a fellow writer out, Okay?  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| By definition, or at least one of them anyway, I am a moral ethecist. Surprised? Some of the work I do involves teaching others. Philosophy is a very broad field of endeavor, yet is one where I find my very best self. It is not because I feel superior to anyone else; I do not. The idea of a self-centric philosopher truly IS an oxymoron.  The philosophers among us will really love that joke!Not only in the years of my past, but even my current days bring me to individuals who are at a really interesting intersection, one I know all too well. It is the intersection between the reality of the life they are living, and the faith they use, or at least try to use to live that life. While I already can tell you there is a book in this post, I would just like to plant a seed for it here. Feel free to Sit Down on a Stone with me for a bit--or not. I have interacted, in the past year, with more individuals who consider themselves to be "atheist" than perhaps ever before in my life. Despite what most people might presume, Atheism is, in fact a religion. For many, it is a "pure" religion. Multi or poly thesim (many Gods), Monothesism (Christianity, Mohammedan, and Abrahamic religions, among others), Hinduism, Shintoism, Buddhism and Gnosticism/Agnosticism are all on the spectrum. So is atheism. The former religions find their faith in multiple dieties, or universality. Some religious identities represent those who have investigated some religion, yet have not come to a concrete conclusion as to the legitimacy of them--any of them. The latter, however are a unique class. They have investigated the entirety of the religious spectrum, and understand that there is, in fact, a supreme source. Evolutionists fall into this category, as well. As an interesting (to me) side note, both creationists and evolutionists have a direct nexus, or connection. They both require faith in order to fulfill their religious definition.) For the Atheist, however, the definition is not inclusive of the notion that there is no God. This is a point many (including many Atheists, as it happens) get wrong. Atheists accept the presence of God, they just consider Him to be completely irrelevant. Science causes, for them, a Supreme Being to step aside. With every slip of vision they gain regarding the science of things, the less God is. It must be said that these words are true, and accurate. They are not meant as conscription to fault at all. They are simply for the purpose of definition. If asked, I would quickly state that I have known many of many religions, including perhaps a majority percentage of them being self-identified Atheists. There is a point, but this must come first. Over the course of my life, and my ministry, and my educational journey, I have encountered countless people at various points along a religious/faith journey. From the strongest faith-follower to the most convinced Atheist, there is a journey to be taken. The difference is the motivation to begin the journey, and what convinces them to stop at some point on their trek. The strongest motivation that I have heard explained to me, in more than forty years of active investigation of this phenomenon comes at the intersection of life and faith. One might say that it comes with the death of an innocent child, a terrible or even horrific event, or tragedy of previously unknown proportion. Against the whole, however, these are but minor players in the overall perspective. My research informs me that the number one reason people find themselves at this intersection of life, without any apparent ability to walk away from it unscathed, by more than ninety percentile, is that the person believes they have committed some sin, either of comission or omission, which God cannot forgive. If that be true, they reason, then either God is not who He says He is, or He is a callous, judgmental Grand Idiot, and purveyor of lies. Aggrieved parents or loved ones, divorces, alienation of affection by various and sundry relatives, and certainly suicide all find grist from this particular mill. I know this to be true from my personal experience throughout my life. Strong believers have walked away from their faith, or their belief for any of these reasons, or lesser ones but all founded in the concept that they are, or have become unforgivable. Because they feel they are not lovable, or acceptable, or worthy, they feel that God has turned His back on them. Degenerating into anger, and even hatred, they turn, in time, their backs on God as well. To them, this is a reasonable reaction to a mutual agreement. Where they stop on the journey will be determined by time. As a philosopher of morality and ethics, this is a very important distinction to make. It is a point that defines, in many ways my entire life. I can understand these individuals, and the steps they take. I understand the scenery at every point along the path. I can empathize with human pain and suffering in others in a genuine way because I have lived with pain, suffering and horrific tragedy. Not as an outsider, but my life has traveled this road as an active participant. I still hear new folks telling new stories of the "how", but it is always inevitably the very same "why". Whether feeling the need for God, or feeling no such need whatsoever (which IS the faith spectrum), there are many important lessons that can be learned on this journey. Sadly, not very many of them are healthy, or good--or correct. In my business, that's where guys and girls like me come in. This territory is mine; I own it. I am most cautiously aware that I am not alone in this particular place. My adversaries and my warriors are most aware and knowledgable of each other. We are not always successful in our mission, but the track record is very good for those with whom we interact. The battle is real, and a fight to the death, or life. A human being is not conditioned, and universally cannot suvive a life without hope. Period. Without hope, illness and death cannot come quickly enough, to the point that those without hope actively pursue death to achieve it. Drugs, alcohol, addictions of every stripe are importatnt tools to find death. Sometimes, death comes calling, and finds us regardless of our desires or intentions. One of the more potent questions I have been asked in my life has been "Is this all there is?" I was asked this question today, in fact. My answer was the same as it has been since I first encountered it personally. I do not doubt my answer in any way. I speak it with unquestionable authority because I am "more than convinced" that this answer is true. No! This is NOT all there is! There is NO unforgivable sin in the whole of Creation. I say that as a man, a Christian, a Minister of the Gospel. I say it as a moral ethecist, a philosopher, and educator. But I do not say it in passing, without proof, or decades of honest investigation. It is not true because or only because it is true to me. I say it because it is absolute truth. It is really, when you think about it, a very small difference. But that one little difference makes all the difference in the world. That's why I do, and forever will remain, In HIS Care. Budroe |
| We talk a lot here about the challenge of blogging. We do not talk a lot about the blogging of challenge. One of the things I would love to see discussed more is the blogging of challenge. Let me give an example, so that maybe readers of this journey will understand better what I mean. One of the biggest challenges bloggers have, in general, is consistency. It takes a bit of time "in the trenches" of blogging to find your voice, your "topic", and your audience. But how do you figure out the pace of your blogging work? How do you make (and keep) blogging consistency? Here is my answer. I don't always "win" with this challenge, but I do consider it every single day: " There is no reason I can find to write an entry in my blog today. "Every day since the first entry within this blog, this statement is where I have begun in my mind. Every day there is a blog entry, that statement was a challenge met and overcome. There are a couple of reasons that I believe this is true. I, like many (or most) people, do not find my daily experience worthy of writing about. Most who have found, read and followed this blog have a pretty good understanding of my challenges, and they can (and do) get painfully repititious. Of course, every day they feel repititious is a blazing success in my world. But, I am not unique in that reality. We all have challenges in our every day that make the mundane possible, and the "usual" a success. I should probably point out, as a reminder, that this blog has always been written for only one reader: myself. It makes it easier to feel capable of worthy writing, and tends to deaden the rapier reviews a bit. But, it also is supposed to remind those reading the entries that I am not the only one facing, and overcoming challenges every day. Did you change every diaper you needed to today, or just every one you could? I hope you see what I mean. If your challenges today are those you feel, or see, or hear, or touch, then they are more than surely worthy of your words--even if you are the only one to ever read them. If you truly doubt this, take my blogging challenge above. Just type those words into your blog, and march happily forward in the knowledge that, regardless of the challenges which today survived, there is one challenge you overcame. If nobody but you notices, it is still just as legitimate a victory. And every day deserves a victory in your world, as well as mine. That is but one of many ways I can remain, In His Care, Budroe |
| I have hit upon an understanding of my own writing that I have either never known, or never before noticed. I am not a formulaic writer of fiction--or anything else. Let me give a couple of examples that may help us both understand my meaning. In #1 of a series, there was a bad guy. The second I met him, I knew him. His character and dialog poured out of my fingers. He was an easy villian, and easy to hate--a lot. He did his job very well in the story. In #2, I am still waiting for the villian to make themselves known to me. The only thing I knew about them is that they really do not like my protagonist at all. I know their occupation, which has a direct impact on the story, providing much of the middle story plot. No face, no gender, no nothing. In #1, the plot setting was immediately known to me. I know it well. Writing it, I could smell, see and hear it both day and night. In #2, the plot setting is also known well to me. The senses are not firing for me on this setting yet. I am more familiar with this setting than the locations in #1. So far? Crickets.It is not a setting disassociated with the plot; in fact it is central to the plot. No emotional attachment, which is profoundly ridiculous. The first novel was drafted in 17 days. This one is still a clean screen aftrer 18 months. Beyond the core cast of characters, the main issue of the novel, and the location...nothing. I've written away from it, around it, and in entirely different genres. That is a good thing, because that writing was way overdue. I have this list, you see.... I keep staring at the blank screen of #2 from time to time, trying to make contact with it. So far, nothing. I can write a couple of scenes (and have) but there is still no definition to this work. I am not saying that I will not write until there is. I am saying that I haven't found that definition yet, and I'm not going to force it. Some might say the first novel was already waiting for me, and it truly was. Nobody was more surprised by that novel than I. It was "easy" to write, and incredibly difficult to edit. Like writing a blog post, or a static item here, the writing is usually the easy part, but the formatting can kill you.  No boilerplate for me, evidently. No re-use, or re-hash. The main characters continue to grow and interact in a common and affable community of like-minded, dedicated team members. Their personae are intact. Their interaction in #2 is not. Yet. No formula from #1 seems to want to either fit, or work in #2. That is not necessarily a bad thing, so long as the overall effect from #1 is repeated in #2. ?? I've given #2 a working title: TNTAW (The Novel That Almost Wasn't). I am patient, but this is bordering on ridiculous. Am I alone in this difficutly? Do you have any suggestions, or usable solutions to my dilemma? Any input will be gratefully appreciated as I do remain, In His Care, Budroe |
| Hello, February! Valentine's Day is on Friday, the 14th, 2014. I'm a romantic. I think this is a very cool day. I always have. My first remembrance of this celebration is from my 2nd grade year. It was the first time we got to "pass around" cards to our classmates, our Sisters and our Mother. It was, for many, the first outward expression of affection and friendship to others. Yes, a very cool day, indeed. This month also represents the birthday of Budroesgirl on the 9th. I'm older than she, but not by a lot. . I'd like to make her day special. I don't know how. More blogging this month, I hope. Classes are really flying by. *sigh* In His Care, Budroe |
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