Acme's (acme) Reviews

Review Requests: OFF

2,953 Public Reviews Given

3,697 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

Honest. I give my overall impressions, let you know what worked well for me and what didn't, and when that happens, I like to try and offer suggestions--totally up to you if you want to take any notice; it is your writing, after all. I am just glad to have the opportunity to read and review. I rarely think anything is perfect, so please do not request a review if you value ratings over review content.

I'm good at...

...being interested. I take time over reviews. My reviews are intimate, informal and honest. They aim to help, offer insight, and celebrate the graft of craft. I love commas. Punctuation is a personal passion.

Favorite Genres

Comedy, supernatural horror, sci-if, fantasy, thriller, detective, slice-of-life, history.

Least Favorite Genres

Dystopian glumness, romance, personal.

Favorite Item Types

Scripts. Fiction. Essays, especially academic

Least Favorite Item Types

Free form poetry. Other than that, little offends.

I will not review...

Unless previously agreed, novels and chapters are a no go with me. I am sorry to say that I haven't the time.

451

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14 days may be credited.

#2789435

Review of Creative Muse Workshop

Review by Acme

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

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AN ACME REVIEW

This review is part of an initiative to spread positivity through reviewing. While it may not be a technical edit, my thoughts here are honest, and I hope you find them helpful and encouraging

For more information on reviewing please check out this informative, simple and easy to read link:

http://utminers.utep.edu/omwilliamson/two.htm

Workshops are a great way to hone our talents and skills and it's great to see you creating a folder to store the results of your writing exercises in, Jewel

Folders are a sign to me that a writer is well organised and wants to present their work in the easiest way for a visitor to locate.

Thank you for sharing. Write on and take care!

452

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14 days may be credited.

#2789120

Review of The Commitment of Time

Review by Acme

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

An Acme Review

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

For more information on reviewing please check out this informative, simple and easy to read link:

http://utminers.utep.edu/omwilliamson/two.htm

What are my overall impressions?
Hey there, beautiful

! I wanted to stop by your port and celebrate your rising stars with a review to each of them. However, it would be rude not to stop by your fine portfolio first and experience a poem

The title of this one intrigued me, but it was the brief description which really hooked me! I love 'light bulb' moments and wanted to be a part of yours, so I had to read, rate and review this poem.

What are my favourite parts?
I think every writer can relate to the feelings conveyed in your narrative (well, I know I can). Your use of simile to express the frustration of writer's block was very well done, your imagery is vivid and I loved the cyclical nature of the narrative. My favourite line has to be the 'light bulb' moment:

Inspiration for writing
is found in the commitment of time

In fact, I recently experienced this myself when I realised it had been too long since inspiration struck, and I signed up for Legerdemain

's 15 for 15

What are my suggestions?
None - Write ON!

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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453

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14 days may be credited.

#2788511

Review of Once Upon A Dream

Review by Acme

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

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AN ACME REVIEW

This review is part of an initiative to spread positivity through reviewing. While it may not be a technical edit, my thoughts here are honest, and I hope you find them helpful and encouraging

For more information on reviewing please check out this informative, simple and easy to read link:

http://utminers.utep.edu/omwilliamson/two.htm

Stan, you know I love the power you possess when it comes to delivering your imagery. Well, this poem is no exception; suns explode, granite ledges are lips, and Africa bursts forth in my imagination. Thank you, Stan, you are a true poet who always manages to capture the intangible so beautifully. Good use of the prompt too!

Thank you for sharing. Write on and take care!

454

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14 days may be credited.

#2783482

Review of I Was A Tiger

Review by Acme

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

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AN ACME REVIEW

This review is part of an initiative to spread positivity through reviewing. While it may not be a technical edit, my thoughts here are honest, and I hope you find them helpful and encouraging

I was brought up in a seaside town called Blackpool and it had a famous poem about Albert and a lion:
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/albert-and-the-lion...
I remember visiting the tigers in the zoo and thinking they looked so sad and despondent; not like nature intended at all. Now, I know zoos do a lot to protect endangered species, and they have come along way from some of the torturous institutions they were once were, but a gilded cage is still a cage, and your poem evoked real emotion in me. The narrative POV also added to the impact. Thoughtful and thought-provoking, Harry

Thank you for sharing. Write on and take care!

455

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14 days may be credited.

#2783478

Review of Poolside Embarrassment

Review by Acme

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

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AN ACME REVIEW

This review is part of an initiative to spread positivity through reviewing. While it may not be a technical edit, my thoughts here are honest, and I hope you find them helpful and encouraging

Oh, I cringed for you

This is a well written account of an embarrassing moment and your informal tone really created intimacy and drew me into your narrative. Well expressed comedy (it is just a shame you were at the centre of it).

Thank you for sharing. Write on and take care!

456

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14 days may be credited.

#2782614

Review of The Calling

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (4.5)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

This is a review on behalf of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
Powerful words again and unsettling imagery which adds to another satisfying reading experience. You really do have a talent for drawing me into your narrative.

What are my favourite parts?

To answer the eternal question
For what will be worn
Now we battle for dreams
And I dread any form of regression

- I enjoyed the personal touch to a philosophical query, as well as the and the extended metaphor through out.

What are my suggestions?
Look at using your genre fields. I would suggest 'philosophy' and 'cultural'

No 'e' on 'metaphor' in your brief description.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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457

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14 days may be credited.

#2782611

Review of Test of Fate

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (4.5)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

This is a review on behalf of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
Powerful words and good vocabulary make every word count in this poem, as does the foundation of the traditional quatrain structure.

What are my favourite parts?
You have really used form and structure well as a compliment to the subject matter. The constraints of partial rhyme and well paced rhythm lend another dimension to the narrative tone - very well delivered

What are my suggestions?
You could be missing out on a potential audience by not using all the genre fields. I suggest 'experience', but you may find another choice more appropriate.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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458

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14 days may be credited.

#2782608

Review of Pinkerton and Pinkerton

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (4.5)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

This is a review on behalf of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
Full of potent imagery and a tortured tone this poem is packed full of power and is delivered well. There are a couple of areas where I felt lines could be edited to make your subject a little clearer, but overall I really enjoyed this thought-provoking poem

What are my favourite parts?
Imagery and metaphor is very well used to convey tone in this poem

What are my suggestions?
Ensure your punctuation is appropriate if you are going to use it:

Betrays himself.
To cover foreign substance

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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459

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14 days may be credited.

#2782259

Review of Golden Memories

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Well expressed vignette piece, Uday

I've added a few notes to a technical edit, but the subject matter of your story, and your narrative, makes an enjoyable read. Thank you for sharing, and sorry for missing this one out from my Holding Pond reads (I have no idea what I did wrong there!)

460

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#2781948

Review of SIZE DOES MATTER

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (4.5)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

This is a review on behalf of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
Another enjoyable poem which hooked me from the first line.

What are my favourite parts?
Good use of imagery in your descriptions again which I think you have such a talent for

What are my suggestions?
Humour me and change "other" for "poetry", please?

Some of your word choices may benefit from using a wider vocabulary (you use the word 'pieces' in swift succession)

The crack's grow

- no need for possessive apostrophe

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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461

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14 days may be credited.

#2781945

Review of THE SKETCH ARTIST

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (4.5)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

This is a review on behalf of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
Spooky twist! I really did feel drawn into your narrative and imagery in this poem.

What are my favourite parts?
Subtle alliteration and poetic language make this a pleasure to read.

What are my suggestions?
Again, it would be an idea to review these older pieces to check you have filled in the item type and genre fields to best advertise yourself.

As there is some mild curse words in this poem you should check site literature and raise your rating accordingly.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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462

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14 days may be credited.

#2781853

Review of CLOCK OUT OLE MAN WINTER

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (4.5)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

This is a review on behalf of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
I really did enjoy the pace and imagery in this poem.

What are my favourite parts?
Good use of imagery, poetic language choices, personification, simile and metaphor make this a memorable read

What are my suggestions?
Although you have chosen a genre field, there are three so it always pays to make the most out of using them. I suggest, 'animal', 'home/garden', but you might come up with some better ones.

In the modern world of text and email, your brief description is a little 'shouty' because of the use of capitals and numerous exclamation marks. I shudder when I see more than one end line punctuation character and agree with Terry Prachet's Patrician character from diskworld: those using more than three in a row is an indication of a lack of sanity!!!! Seriously, using more, only lessens the original impact behind them, and you should consider being wary when using them so prolifically; after all, you are a very good poet who has a great arsenal of words to use to express/convey meaning

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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463

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14 days may be credited.

#2781848

Review of Trying To Get Started

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (4.5)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

This is one of 5 reviews on behalf of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
Wow! You sure have been prolific in the time you have been here at Writing.com and I am looking forward to reading more from this varied and eclectic mix of items in your portfolio

What are my favourite parts?
Using poetry to express your excitement and give a little detail about your expectations on the site was a very good idea. The tone you convey in this poem is infectious in that expression of excitement

What are my suggestions?
I realise this is one of the earliest additions to your portfolio, but it is worth going back over your earliest posts to see if there are any updates you can make, now you know the site better

I would suggest you now change the item choice field to "poetry", as many visitors to the site use the search engine to find items of interest to them, and hardly anyone chooses to search under "other"

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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464

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14 days may be credited.

#2781829

Review of Relish

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (4.0)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

What are my overall impressions?
This is a well written account of one of the loneliest jobs on the planet - one most of us would take great pains to avoid acknowledging the existence of. Thought provoking and insightful the subtle comedy in your satire works well.

What are my favourite parts?
Your imagery is very well written. I particularly enjoyed the "Big Gulp" descriptions and the theory behind being an East Coast hot-dog. Good satire should always be a little uncomfortable and you got the balance just right

What are my suggestions?
I couldn't see how this story related to the 'Lost' prompt in this month's contest.

I know what I have to do and I don't need their

- shift in tense. Try to stick to one particular tense, and as the majority of this story is told in past tense, it may be an idea to alter lines, like the above, to reflect the past tense too.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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465

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14 days may be credited.

#2781767

Review of Mother Nature Said No

Review by Acme

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

What are my overall impressions?
Thanks for entering the "Invalid Item"

I can see why this has a lovely awardicon. I wondered what your take on the 'Lost' prompt was, and realised it wasn't in 'getting lost', but losing (your heirloom) and what you could have lost (your life!). A well told story

What are my favourite parts?
I started getting a little skeptical about this trip. Though nothing was actually broken, the first two hours of my first great adventure was turning out to be most memorable. I couldn't wait to see what was going to happen next. funny, but in an ouchy way

What are my suggestions?
None - Write on!

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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466

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14 days may be credited.

#2781751

Review of A Foolish Chief

Review by Acme

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

An Acme Review

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!
Want to join a group which will encourage and support your writing, as well as making new friends? Please visit
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#1360711 by Brooklyn

What are my overall impressions?
Thanks for entering the "Invalid Item"

I really enjoyed reading this narrative poem which suited the AABB traditional quatrain form well

What are my favourite parts?
The rhyme and rhythm took me along with good attention to pace and tone. The story-line was superb, and I enjoyed the set up and punchline delivery

What are my suggestions?
None - Write on!

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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467

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14 days may be credited.

#2781633

Review of My Journey to Becoming a Writer

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (5.0)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

What are my overall impressions?
Dave, it's great to see all these factual snippets about you journey as a writer, here in one place

Well written, this item creates a good overview of your career as a writer to date.

What are my favourite parts?
Having worked in one of your workshops I find it fascinating to follow the route your writing career has taken, but of special enjoyment to me in this write, are the little personal enhancers, such as the childhood "newspaper" delivery - Ace!

What are my suggestions?
None - Write on!

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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468

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14 days may be credited.

#2777619

Review of My Life

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (4.5)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

This is a review on behalf of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
A thoughtful and poignant look on what seems to have been a frustrating period in your life. This poem examines what must be only a small part of your recovery process, and it is great to see a sense of dark humour surface in your tone

What are my favourite parts?
A loved your use of 'butt' repetition. The subtle changes in frustration/misery/embarrassment/humour all worked because of your clever inflection of tone around your word use

What are my suggestions?
As you are more comfortable with Free Verse, I was surprised to see a traditional AABB rhyming quatrain used in the first verse. This may only be personal preference, but I found the shift in structure to be a little distracting.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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469

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14 days may be credited.

#2774310

Review of Pit Stop

Review by Acme

Rated: ASR

| (4.0)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

I am reviewing this as an entry in "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
Look at you rolling under the shutters before they come down on the contest deadline

Thanks for your entry, and I hope you get your clue

I enjoyed this take on the Love City story prompt and thought you set your characters and story in motion well. I think you have left the ending somewhat open, but as you have whet my appetite, I have to ask you to consider expanding on this story, as it seems you have more to tell.

What are my favourite parts?
Your narrative descriptions bring the story to life with vivid imagery and good character development

What are my suggestions?

Paul was the one [that had chosenwho chose] this particular freeway exit...one who had quickly dismissed the lone Chevron...Paul who [had driven drove] them around the back

"Well[,] I wonder why

The board [had to take took] emergency action

Paul couldn't find anybody. No cars,

- no need to underline, as you go on to explain clearly

There are a number words which seems a little like padding (most noticeable the occurrence of 'had'), you may want to cast an editorial eye over this piece to look out for them specifically.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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470

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#2773968

Review of Stuck in Love City

Review by Acme

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

I am reviewing this as an entry in "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
Good use of the prompt story in this tale of a teenager getting used to her new life in a new place.

What are my favourite parts?
You built up the tension and executed the plot twist well. Your main characters were fleshy and believable.

What are my suggestions?

Oh my God! Could life get any more boring than this? Mary Lou yawned

- a great way to show character thought is to italicise it:
Oh my God! Could life get any more boring than this? Mary Lou yawned

Some of your sentences are rather long. As a general rule, use a comma where the narrative pauses for breath, or where changing thought mid-stream (like the comma before 'or' here

). Another good place to use commas, if you like, is where an 'aside' is used; a part of the sentence which could be removed without damaging the meaning/flow of narrative.

Mom had drug her down here and enrolled
Mom dragged her down here and enrolled

When writing numbers, such as age, use the full written version, rather than number symbol.

Both men started shaking their heads yes

- nodding

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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471

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14 days may be credited.

#2773337

Review of Desperation

Review by Acme

Rated: 18+

| (4.0)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

I am reviewing this as an entry in "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
This is a dark story in a monologue format which makes for interesting reading. There are areas where you could look to your technical delivery of the story.

What are my favourite parts?
I thought you managed to create a distinctive voice for your narrator in this story. Your images of the satellite characters are very vivid, like 'snap shots' - well delivered.

What are my suggestions?

It could only tell me one thing. Our system of life is collapsing.

connective thoughts should use a semi-colon.

A wife...a son....a daughter.

use three periods in an ellipsis.

I also had a little trouble seeing the comparison with the prompt story.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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472

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14 days may be credited.

#2773272

Review of Jean Lafitte

Review by Acme

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

What are my overall impressions?
I thoroughly enjoyed your take on the 'adventure' prompt with this poem about one of the most infamous pirates in history

What are my favourite parts?
The structure with refrain worked really well and I particularly found the author's note and 'click' link a thoughtful addition

What are my suggestions?
For an adventure rich character, I was rather surprised that you focused a number of stanzas on his part in fighting the British, and neglected the belief his friendship with Napoleon resulted in him hiding the Emperor's treasure which is still undiscovered today.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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473

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#2773189

Review of Hate

Review by Acme

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

What are my overall impressions?
This is a good story which uses the 'adventure' prompt well. You hooked me with your well developed characters and plot line and the history came through well, and not just as a backdrop. There are technical areas in your writing which could use an editorial eye, and I think this story is well worth any effort you would put into doing so.

What are my favourite parts?

At the sound of water swishing around in the canteen, Greg's dry mouth started to water. As if the old man could read his mind, Greg felt the cold metal against his arm. Grasping it in both hands, he let the dirty water drip down into his mouth. You do a good job in using narrative description to move the story on, add detail in imagery and flesh out your characters. Your dialogue is smooth and believable.

What are my suggestions?
There are a number of places where you could cut words, making your narrative tighter and punchier, eg:
regiment had been mostly wiped from the face of the earth in the bloody battles that they had fought
most of the regiment were wiped from the face of the earth in the bloody battles they fought

He was angry with all the white people [that who] held his race in contempt.

his sorrow was beyond [what he had ever imagined before his imagination]. He knew just about ever body [that who] lay at his feet. He had been trained with them and [had been bunked?] with them ever since [they had come to this country being stationed here] and fought in the war for the fate of world freedom [that was now threatened now under threat]

- my example here is an attempt to show you 'dead' words, and how you can spice up your language by widening your vocabulary. It is only an example; one I'm sure you could improve on

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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474

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#2772899

Review of Nature is Calling Me

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (3.5)

An Acme Review

This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!
Want to join a group which will encourage and support your writing, as well as making new friends? Please visit
The Holding Pond (E)
Currently not accepting new members - group under redesign. Thank you for your patience.
#1360711 by Brooklyn

What are my overall impressions?
Thank you for entering Pond Poetry. This month's prompt was La Courante form and your rhyming couplet poem does not meed the requirements of the form, nor your subject matter with the corresponding picture prompt. All that aside and reviewing this as a poem, rather than contest entry, I have to say I enjoyed reading this poem.

What are my favourite parts?
You managed to engage all my senses with some stunning imagery and descriptions, freshly mown grass, bird song, warmed by the sun and cooled by the wind... your words transported me to this scene.

What are my suggestions?

Wind is blowing much too softly to[o] tend.

Your use of full stops (periods) at the end of your lines is a little confusing when the sentence naturally continues on the next line.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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475

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#2772160

Review of Why Worry, Today Is Here

Review by Acme

Rated: E

| (4.0)

An Acme Review
This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Please feel free to ignore any, or all suggestions. This is your work, and I'm just happy to have had the chance to review it!

This is a review on behalf of "Invalid Item"

What are my overall impressions?
A thoughtful and thought-provoking poem which brings the reader into a shared moment with the narrator.

What are my favourite parts?
I like the way you create an intimacy between the narrator and the reader by sharing "The View"

What are my suggestions?

As the cars go flying by.
My eyes are glued upon the sky.
As the clouds

- again, I'm a little uncomfortable with the use of periods as end line punctuation, but you should also be aware of the word 'as' being over used. And your title has too many periods in an ellipsis.

Thank you for sharing your work! Write on and take care

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