Hell natty, Welcome to Writing.Com It's nice to have fresh talent on board.
This is a wonderful poem of what friendship should be.
It was very creative to liken finding the friend to a drink of 'sweet nectar' that opened your eyes to what friendship is all about.
Hello there, I like the message of this poem. It is a good reminder that people sometimes need someone who will look past appearances, just sit and listen to them.
The rhyming is good. The rhythm bogs just a little, but is okay.
I think the expalnation of the thousand mirrors is excellent. It really brings home the point.
"She said to me,"The stares I get,
Show my flaws--my heart they forget."
Hey, welcome to Writing.Com. You have made your writing debut with a flair.
The images you created in this piece are absolutely vivd. I especially like the description of sliding your feet into the pair of jeans and getting your toes caught in the tangled fibers. I had anticipated that image and was not disappointed.
You do a good job of describing your Saturday Friend.
Hi Angelica, this is a good 'circle of life' poem. I like the imagery of the line "Yet as it hugged the chilly ground". It creates a vivid picture.
I see you didn't use punctuation, which is okay for this poem. The way the words are written create line breaks that make the poem flow nicely without it.
In the line "Greater things were abound", the word 'abound' isn't quite right. I understand what you are trying to say, but another word would be more appropriate. I think you can either change that word or rewrite the preceding line also to maintain your rhyming, which by the way, is pretty good.
I like the down to earth feel of this poem. Keep at it!
Hey, Lexi. This isn't an easy topic to write about. Some people don't see verbal abuse for what it is. They don't realize the mind doesn't heal like the body does. The perpitrater thinks they aren't doing anything wrong because they are not touching you.
If words have the ability to sooth, then in the reverse, they can destroy.
I'm sorry if this is personal experience, but thank you for sharing it with us. It helps us to know you better. Just to let you know, I care!
Hello Lexi, this is a wonderful reminder to proclaim our love for the Savior.
You have almost given a sermon in a flowing, poetic manner. You wrote this is in 2003, but the meassage is still fresh: If we love God we will live to show it.
Hello, This is excellent. You have summed up a poet in 31 words. You have done it with unforced rhythm and rhyme, proving that you have the soul of a poet yourself.
Hello, I was searching poetry using 'recently modified last' as the criterium. This struck my fancy. I rather like it. It does a good job of bringing to mind a mental picture of the belly dancer. The way the words are put together is perfect for the topic.
I am having a fun time reading people's 'old stuff'.
Hello, this poem reminds me of the times years ago, when I would spread a blanket out on a little hill. My children and I would lay on our backs and watch the stars. We especially did this on nights when meteor showers were in the sky. We wouldabsorb the calm and peace of the night.
Excellent work! This comes right out of history. I am an American, but have Celtish blood. It cries out at the injustice. I hate all injustice but this feels personal.
You write very well, I saw no errors. My interest was held to the conclusion of this excerpt, leaving wanting more.
Hello, your writing touched my heart! I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with yourself. I am one who listens very well. Any time you want to vent or ask questions or need me to just say "Hi, glad you are here", let me know!
Hello, welcome to Writing.Com I hope you find everything to your liking here.
This is a soothing poem. It's nice to read something calming and peaceful. A pleasant respite. I am swept away to a rock on the beach, and I leave there ready to face the day.
Hi honey, I thought I had reviewed this before, but I guess I didn't.
I love the line:
I have dreams that trickle down upon each empty sheet
How creative!
That is exactly what happens when writing. The dreams of the heart just drizzle out.
What a nice thing to write for your children. The pictures are an excellent touch. All the pictures are nice, the dog with the sad eyes made me laugh, but the one that catches my fancy, of course, is the buttercups and 'Daizys'
The last picture of the children all asleep together in one bed could be your own kids (if you added one)
Good job with this poem. You describe love pretty well.
Your rhyme is good and so is the rhythm except in one spot. It is the last line of the third verse. To my ear it would flow a little smoother like this.
"They're of that with whom you are smitten."
I like the way you write. I have read your mother, Meg and your two brothers Braddock and Boom. You all are good at it, yet each has their own style. It's nice to have you and part of your family with us.
Nancy
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