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Review Requests: OFF
1,559 Public Reviews Given
2,107 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
My reviews typically cover: initial responses, technicalities and mechanics, favorite parts, areas of improvement, and overall impression.
I'm good at...
Honesty, and finding what works versus what doesn't work. I will never give you a rating I don't think your work deserves. I am also particularly good at spotting grammatical errors and typos.
Favorite Genres
Philosophy, Steampunk, Horror, Dark, Emotional, Science Fiction, Technology, and Political Science. I'm sure there are more that I'm missing.
Least Favorite Genres
Romance, Western, Religious, and anything froufrou.
I will not review...
Chapters and Novels, unless arrangements are made prior.
Public Reviews
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51
51
Review of Life  
Review by Riot
Rated: E | (2.5)
A sweet little 'prayer' to your deity. It's a bit redundant (ie: think, think, think, you, you) but simple and nice. Thanks for sharing! *Smile*
52
52
Review of My Future Father.  
Review by Riot
Rated: E | (2.0)
It sounds like he is an interesting man, I wish you well in your endeavors to know him! Have you tried the blog feature on WDC? It might receive better feedback since this is marked as such a personal blurb. If you need help, let me know! *Smile*
53
53
Review of That Canadian Boy  
Review by Riot
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)
I'm not sure what this is. Is it a draft? You might want to mark it as such, or make it private until you can get some details fleshed out. *Wink*
54
54
Review by Riot
Rated: ASR | (1.0)
I have no idea what this is, but it seems to be a wall post or something. Maybe you should check out your notebook? It can be accessed on your profile. *Smile*
55
55
Review by Riot
Rated: 18+ | (1.0)
I think you may have been looking for the in-and-out feature, which allows members to add to your story. I might suggest adding a lot more detail, too, to attract attention. *Wink*
56
56
Review by Riot
Rated: 18+ | (1.0)
I kind of suspect maybe you were looking for the in-and-out feature, so that others may interact with your story? Best of luck, please holler if you need any help. *Smile*
57
57
Review of Dream Taker  
Review by Riot
Rated: 13+ | (2.0)
I think this might be easier to critique if it were in its own book item, rather than a static. It looks like it needs a bit of work, but it might be easier to go through things with a fine comb if we could review the chapters separately. *Smile*
58
58
Review by Riot
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
You may want to label this as a WIP under the settings in the static item. So far it looks interesting, but I think it lacks a hook. If you decide to add to this please let me know, as I'd be interesting in re-visiting this.
59
59
Review by Riot
Rated: E | (2.0)
I think you have a nice list of several character outlines, and I look forward to seeing them more fleshed out. When building a character there are so many things you could do to flesh them out. You could add their birthdays, their astrological signs, family, relationships, favorite things, personality types, etc. What you have is a good start, it just needs a bit more. *Smile*
60
60
Review of a home for lizze  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (2.0)
I speculate that this is unfinished, draft, and work in progress. Be sure to use the genre categories when making a static item so that people know exactly what it is your doing, so that in the future you may avoid very low ratings on WIPS. *Smile*
61
61
Review of Puppy  
Review by Riot
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is much better, especially in the area of imagery and 'showing' us rather than 'telling' - Great job at improving it! *Bigsmile*
62
62
Review of Puppy  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
You are receiving this review as part of the judging process for your entry into round 53 with the prompt Pleiades, for "Invalid Item.


What is Pleiades? Click here!

Hello there,

          *Thought* Initial Impression
I thought this was a cute poem that captures the very essence of what one feels when they are around a puppy. Great! *Thumbsup*

          *Fleurdelis* Imagery and Feel
I thought the imagery was pretty well done, but in some places I felt like there was more 'tell' than 'show': precious, make you think, "wow"! / putting all this in one / package can't get more cute. Although I appreciate the sentiments of these lines, it doesn't really 'show' us how adorable it is, but rather just tells us how to react, y'know?

          *Star* *Star* *Star* *Halfstar* Overall Impression
I thought this was a cute poem and I enjoyed the end line. It itself was pretty darn cute! As far as I can tell you followed the rules of the form, but could use a tiny bit of work on imagery in a couple of places. Thank you for entering, I hope to see you again! *Smile*



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Riot , founder of "Invalid Item
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63
63
Review of Depression  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
You are receiving this review as part of the judging process for your entry into round 53 with the prompt Pleiades, for "Invalid Item.


What is Pleiades? Click here!

Hello there,

          *Thought* Initial Impression
A sad poem that accurately portrays depression. While the topic is dark, it is true to the nature and well thought out. *Thumbsup*

          *Fleurdelis* Imagery and Feel
There is definitely a distinct sadness to this poem, which is accurate to its title. I liked the use of 'd' words, especially the descriptive ones, like: dust (covers), daringly (high), drama, distractions.

          *Magnify* Technicalities
From what I can tell, this poem fits the form for the contest well and follows up with pretty good imagery. My only thought for improvement might be to add some more punctuation where it's needed, as there already is some in the first place.

          *Star* *Star* *Star* *Halfstar* Overall Impression
A darker poem that fits the form and has decent matching imagery. Thank you for entering this round, hope to see you again! *Smile*



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64
64
Review of Stars  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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You are receiving this review as part of the judging process for your entry into round 53 with the prompt Pleiades, for "Invalid Item.


What is Pleiades? Click here!

Hello there,

          *Thought* Initial Impression
I thought this was a very lovely poem. I like that it both fits the form and actually captures the meaning of Pleiades. *Thumbsup*

          *Fleurdelis* Imagery and Feel
I think there is a lot of imagery in this poem. I was especially fond of: star clusters up in the sky, shine against pitch black, and silent across cosmos. I find the end line to be a reflection on anyone who has ever gazed at the night sky and wondered in awe at the vastness of the universe. *Smile*

          *Magnify* Technicalities
As far as I can tell, you're spot on with the form, and the imagery is pretty good. *Thumbsup*

          *Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* *Halfstar* Overall Impression
I can see nothing I'd like to improve upon, and I think you did a good job with form and imagery. Thank you for entering this round, and I hope to see you again! *Smile*



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Riot , founder of "Invalid Item
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65
65
Review of Memories  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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You are receiving this review as part of the judging process for your entry into round 53 with the prompt Pleiades, for "Invalid Item.


What is Pleiades? Click here!

Hello there,

          *Thought* Initial Impression
At first I thought the opening couple of lines were almost leading up to a rhyme because they flowed so well together and just sort of had that 'off rhyme' to them in a couplet. *Wink*

          *Fleurdelis* Imagery and Feel
I think you picked some great 'm' words to describe this poem of memories. I like how you described memory as being almost fluid-like like sand, but what I found most remarkably thought provoking was the last two lines: merge into the present / modify the future. *Thumbsup*

          *Magnify* Technicalities
As far as I can tell, you've done everything correct to fit this type of form. On a couple of re-reads I discovered that I was having some mild difficulty with flow. I don't think that punctuation is necessary for all types of poetry, but I'm almost wondering if in this poem it may do it some justice. There are a couple of spots with 'harsher' sounding words, and with all of the repeating 'm' sounds (not just in the beginning of the lines) it tends to get a little confusing. For me, I seemed to break this into couplets in a way, as every two lines seemed to work perfectly.

          *Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* Overall Impression
I liked this poem and found the descriptions and imagery to be truthful and well written. My only thoughts for improvement are more of a personal preference on flow and technicalities. Thank you for entering this round, and I hope to see you again! *Smile*



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Riot , founder of "Invalid Item
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66
66
Review by Riot
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I'd love to be added to this list! Thanks! *Bigsmile*
67
67
Review by Riot
Rated: E | (5.0)
Interesting! How is this group turning out? *Smile*
68
68
Review by Riot
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dropping in for a rating! *Bigsmile*
69
69
Review of "Thank You RAOK"  
Review by Riot
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank YOU, RAOK. *Heart*
70
70
Review by Riot
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

You are receiving this review as part of the judging process for your entry into round 51, blues poetry, for "Invalid Item.


Hello there,

I think this was a pretty good poem. Although short, only two stanzas, it captured a specific time and feel. I can easily see loved ones celebrating the life of Padraig Macgill rather than mourning him over an urn.

*Thought* Faugh A Ballagh was of interesting use in this poem, a battle cry of the Irish. *Thumbsup*

The flow of this went over pretty well, and I didn't have any gripe with the rhythm or rhyme. I appreciate that this captured a specific essence to a greater story, but this is one of those few cases where I wanted more in concise poetry. That's not a bad thing, though, and I hope you take it as a compliment. *Wink*

Overall, a good, short poem. Thank you for sharing! *Smile*


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71
71
Review by Riot
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)

You are receiving this review as part of the judging process for your entry into round 51, blues poetry, for "Invalid Item.


Hello there,

This was a pretty fun poem that captured the essence of a night out gambling. I feel as though the storytelling of this poem was its strength. The first stanza sets up the scene and mood, the second gets into the gambling, the third is the thick of it, the fourth is the end, and last is the aftermath. I think this is pretty organized, all things consider.

Although there is forced capitalization at the beginning of each line, I appreciated that this actually had proper grammar otherwise. The only place I could tell it was missing was in:
big blind was on me[,] so I decided to check and I pushed in the amount of Mike's chip and declared[,]. *Thumbsup*

I can see that there was clearly a specific way in which you were trying to rhyme. I spotted couplet patterns intermingled with refrains. I think this gave it an interesting pace, but some places were a little wordy and rhymed just because it fit the previous stanza's form. I used to have a really terrible time with forcing a specific format on later stanzas in my poetry, and sometimes it was at the cost of what I was trying to say. I felt like this happened here, especially in stanza two.

My favorite part was: lady Luck began to swoon, / Jerry chuckled and howled like a loon - I thought this was pretty funny imagery, and I love 'howled like a loon' because I was totally able to relate to it. *Laugh*


Overall, a good read, and a good write. Thank you for sharing! *Smile*


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72
72
Review of Sorrow  
Review by Riot
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)

You are receiving this review as part of the judging process for your entry into round 51, blues poetry, for "Invalid Item.


Hello there,

This short poem brings to light some of the harsh realities of life. When one tries to retreat into the bottle, they must ultimately sober up and come to terms with life as it is once again.

*Thought* Technicalities/Mechanics
Because you use proper punctuation in most of this poem, I expected it in the entire piece. It will require you to change the capitalization on a line or two, though. Ultimately the decision is up to you, but I find that it doesn't change the overall meaning, pace, or flow in any negative way. In fact, I think it strengthens it.

For example, you could do something like this:
My bottle lets me drift away from the hardships of life[.]
As I drown into the stupor of forgetfulness[,]
I begin to wonder is this worth the fight?


I felt like this piece brought up a lot of thought-provoking questions, but I think it would've been much stronger if there was some imagery in there, even a line or two, that the reader could relate with. The poem talks about 'living this way' and how 'life is hard' but you don't really connect it with anything metaphorically or even in just basic description.


Overall, a good read that made me contemplate the situation you provided. Keep up the work! *Smile*



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73
73
Review by Riot
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I really wish this was back. I love this! *Heart*
74
74
Review by Riot
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I love this interactive! I only wish I was more inspired to add to it. Maybe someday I'll have the courage to write (good, but bad!) entries to items like this. *Laugh*
75
75
Review by Riot
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hello there,

Reading this over makes me hungry! Now all I want to do is hermit inside and eat cookies all night. *Laugh*

I don't really feel qualified to critique the grammar in recipes, as I'm aware that there are certain shorthand notes that are acceptable, and I simply don't know what they are.

I can, however, tell you that these sound yummy! If I had to try one of them first, I'm undecided on which one I'd go for. It'd either be the Brandy Snaps from Wales, or the Tail Gate Cookies. Actually, scratch that, it'd probably be the Oatmeal M&M cookies. *Laugh*

My only thought for suggestion is to separate these recipes a little better. Some of the middle recipes look like they're bleeding into the next. Good job! *Bigsmile*


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