This was terrifying! It would have made a great "Tales From The Crypt" or "Night Gallery" episode. You had me on the edge of my seat waiting to see what was going to happen. I liked the fast pace of the story. It flowed smoothly and was well written. Nice Job!
That groupie has found out the truth about Rock Stars...their appeal is only skin deep. :) lol
Super creepy! The flow was good I loved the plot and the setting was great too. It was well written and I was interested in what was too come the whole way through the story. I kinda knew it w/be the kind old Mr. Kearns but, then you threw me off with the scratching and groaning. I changed my mind and really thought it was going to be some kind of monster/creature that lived in the basement after that. Nice fake out!
Write On!
Special K
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It is amazing that you wrote a story in just 55 words! The best part about this little jem is that you took me on an emotional roller coaster ride in just 55 words. I went from "Oh, I love turtles and reflecting on my turtle I had as a child." to "Oh my gosh, how aweful, that poor little turtle!" to "lol...Shell Shocked! Good One!" :)
Good job! Write On!
Special K/Kim Review for contest
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Oh this was action packed. It left me wanting to know more. For some reason I got the feeling that the husband could have hired a hit on his wife.
Good Job! And good luck with the contest :)
I will admit right up front that I don't know anything about poetry. However, I am an artist and reading this was like viewing a painting of Spring at midnight. It was beautiful!
I liked it. The museum is always a spooky place. I liked that the statue comes alive to tease & play with the guard. I wasn't quite sure what happens to Scott at the end. Did he die or just get pulled into another dimension? Or maybe he fell asleep and this was all a dream. I would like to know this (just my opinion). I didn't find any typo's and the flow of the writing was good. Nice Job!
Kim/Special K
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* I noticed only one typo
1) Only God know(s) the depths of our souls.
It was an interesting read. I would have liked to know what kind of Cult it was the author escaped from. Other than that, It was a perfect article for a church news letter. Nice Job :)
Kim/Special K
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* The characters were interesting
* The flow was pretty good
I found the story very interesting. I would have liked a little more descriptive writing. I would like to know maybe what the house looked like or what Grandpa looked like. I would like to hear more about this family. Nice Job!
Kim/Special K
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When I read poetry I always apologize to the writer because I don't know much about poetry. I only know if it makes sense to me or made me feel something etc... I loved your comparison of women "then and now". It is true women today have to wear many hats. It flowed well and was well writen in my opinion. I really liked the message at the end also. Nice work!
First let me say that I really liked the warning before you get to the story. You were very careful not to upset or hurt your reader. It was good to be prepared for all the sadness & despair the main character had for the loss of her love. The story is very "Dark" & because of that, the length made it hard to keep reading. I think maybe if you shorten it a bit, it will still have the impact that you want but make it an easier read. Just a thought.
I really liked your descriptive writing about being in love and losing a love so special. I did feel it! There were a few typos too but, that's easy to fix. I hope this is helpful.
Write On!
Kim/Special K {bitem: 794817}
I liked the distinct difference in the two characters personalities/dispositions, and how, doing a charitable act, brought them together at the end. It was sweet. Nicely writen I like the descriptions of the junky van and the red fuzzy (bear like) sweater that Miles wore. I can tell you're into Romance writing & it sounds like you know your genre. :)
Write On!
Kim/Special K
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Let me start by saying I liked it. The flow was pretty good and the dialogue is natural sounding. If felt like I was watching an episode of a show like maybe "One Tree Hill" (which is a great show by the way). I liked the scene changes between Jo's life and Blakes life and just when I got to the end and felt it was predictable you surprised me with a twist. Chris was her boy friend that broke up with her not Blake (although it's Blake's child -probably the reason for the break-up). Bravo!
I noticed the title is a song title and I was wondering if you were writing from a prompt I saw in Writers Digest that said, to use a song title as your story prompt. If so...Nice Job! :)
{bitem: 794817} Kim/Special K
This was cute and read like an article from maybe, Seventeen or Teen Glamour. It caught my attention because I am a major purse collector myself. I love them & you can never have too many of them:)
Typos (corrections)- 2 found:
1) You (Your) purse says a lot about you.
2) You must assume that everyone is look (looking) at you (and what you're wearing).
I hope this helps :)
That is absolutely beautiful! The descriptive wording along with the beautiful and comforting message, make this piece so very powerful. I do not know much about poetry (unfortunately for me) but this was wonderful! I would not change a thing. :)
I liked it alot. It took me back to those times of awkward guy/girl relationships that many times turn out to be one sided. Although, in this story you can just feel the sexual tension between the too friends. I feel he knew his feelings for her but she didn't realize that she was also in love with him. Am I right? Anyway, the writing was really good. I enjoyed the description of the cd's setting the mood and the car seats lowered to look at the tree tops against the dark sky. Nice visual.
Great Job!
Write On,
Kim/Special K
This was super good for any age let alone a sixteen year old. You must be so proud! She's a chip off the old block, huh? I thought it was cute, clever, and funny. It's cool how she took an object and let you look at life from it's view point. The trials and tribulations of being a potty. The nachos for dinner part at the end made me laugh out loud :)
I thought this short-short story was real cute. I'm sure this happens to alot of kids on their first day of school. I liked the part about having to hold a yuckie boys hand and the description you gave on how she said the word "Boy". It made me chuckle. I would have liked to hear more things that went wrong in her day to make her not want to go back.
Example: "They made us take naps...what are we babies?"
I don't know, I just wanted to hear a little more about how awful her day was.
Good story!
Write On,
Kim
I thought the writing was really good. I just thought the ending needed something. I would have liked it, if only Jerry could see and hear the ghost of Pete. Also maybe Pete is there to ask Jerry why he forced him off the road that night at Hell's Canyon. Then although no one could hear Pete's side of the conversation they would hear Jerry's confession to murder. Just a thought. I liked that you jumped right into the action as the story is starting too. Hope this was helpful.
Awesome! I loved this. I think at some time or another everyone has had a strange friend like this, that they admired and feared all at the same time. I also loved the descriptive references to being young in the summer time. It took me there :)
It was really good! I am a parent and this was terrifying to me. It reminds me of that movie back in the 70's "Logan's Run", where they were controlling the population by means of a lottery when the child reached a certain age.
Not only did I think it was really good but, I can relate to this story. For you see this recently happened to me. I am a newbie on writing.com and I am working on my first piece to post. I really enjoyed this one! Thanks :)
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