The Bard's Hall Contest

My stepmom Toos has been diagnosed with dementia a few years back. Sure she was very forgetful and had to write everything down, sure she told the same story over and over, sure she didn't remember things from 15 minutes ago. But she still lives on her own and has a full program to tie her over every week. She has a lot of help.

Today things happened that I realized she no longer can be trusted in what she says. That's really sad. I am feeling really sad. She crossed a line today and fabricated a story in her mind which later turned out not to be true at all. This is the first time that happened. And I am a bit in shock.

I think things will spiral downhill from now on. She is definitely changing, the dementia is definitely taking over. I have to relate to this changed reality. I must be aware I shall have to second-guess everything from now on. I shall have to check everything with Rita, her help, and Marga, her guardian to make sure I still can distinguish what's what and what actually is the case. Her word is no longer to be immediately trusted. This is very, very heart-wrenching.

She forgets this ever happened. Tomorrow she starts anew. I, on the other hand, have to come to terms with the reality of her illness. It's up to me to interpret her actions, behavior, and speech in such a way that I can handle it and keep her dignity.

I worked with demented patients years ago professionally. So, theory and practice are somewhat familiar. But this is different for me now. This is up close and personal. I am the stepdaughter of the demented patient in this equation. I address my stepmom differently from a professional. I am deeply involved.

I phone her every day, and I visit once, this week twice.

I am afraid things will rapidly change for the worse. I am wondering how and what my answer shall be. Am I up to it?