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 |   A terminal for all blogs coming in or going out. A view into my life. |
Mini-review of "Invalid Item"  [] by A Guest Visitor Definitely short like flash; but... it evoked nothing from me so it's missing something. Hard to empathize with a grifter who's full of herself unless the cigar stub did some harm or made her careen off the road... something. Sure, I'd be pissed! But 'pissed-off' just tells instead of shows my emotions... and will evoke nothing in the reader. The revenge itself seems too simple, too cliche. If she had lit one of his cigars, smoked it and used the stub to tattoo her name in his flesh I'd be cheering 'go gurl'. But there isn't that satisfaction. It also seems to be two moments stitched together. The second part could be the flash with the narrator referring to the earlier moment as an 'interior motivation' revealed as she reels him in and gets her revenge. Rate? A 3.5 as it definitely tells a story. If it could show instead of tell, it could be 4+, if it could evoke emotion or make me laugh? 4.5 It needs something. I suggest wicked humor as Marla seems the sort to dish it out. For
Prompt: This brought the captain to ask the question "Why do some people seem so set on vengeance and getting "even" with others? Well, injustice or perceived injustice for one answer. Much of my anger comes out of fear. If you made me that angry I just might lash back before I ask myself what I'm afraid of and come to the conclusion, "why bother". The Croats and Serbians have been fighting for 500 years. Each generation rubs salt in the wound. The world shrugs in disbelief. But hundreds died in the Balkan Wars of the 1990s. Another basis for vengeance may be quid-pro-quo. It's the negative side of "I did something nice for you so now I expect payment or something nice from you." Those with generous hearts and minds who don't see the world that way may not understand. A true "pay-it-forward" or "let it go" begs tolerance as well. This prompt fits well with my Space Cadet stories so I may add to this later. 3,279 |
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