Perpetual Ruminations

No Sheep, I Sheared The Wof-Man

Okay, so I decided to try and grow a beard and full mustache again. This time I started out right and let it grow unhindered. I purchased care products and styling balms and set about growing a long beard. But, it didn't get so much long as it did bushy, no matter what I did.

My mustache, which I waxed and combed to the sides, not a full handlebar effect, but more like ole Santa's, refused to grow any direction but down. I even tried this mustache mud product. It was more comfortable than the heavy wax but still felt like I had tried to glue my 'stache in place. It worked great, but I would have to put the stuff on three or more times a day! I eventually got tired of having it forever in my mouth and trimmed it back.

Tonight I had enough of trying to put beard balms and beard oils on my face to try and tame my wolf-man fur and cut that off, too. It was curly, unruly, and thicker than sheep's wool! Seriously, it was close to as thick as a lamb's full coat and refused to lie down. Yes, the mustache refused to do anything but lie straight down, the beard refused to lie down at all. If I had curly hair on my head, I would have looked like a middle-aged werewolf or wolf-man. But, the hair on my head is very fine, very soft, and very straight, just the opposite of my facial hair.

I was just going to take a shower, wash my hair, beard, and mustache, then condition them all. I looked in the mirror and then at the various containers of beard balms and oils, and thought, "What's the use, the longer it gets, the bushier it gets. I got out the clipper and went to work. five, maybe ten minutes later and the bathroom sink was completely full of curly,  coarse hair. I didn't cut it all off, I put a guard on and left about a quarter-inch of man-growth.

I knew if I cut it all off and then shaved it smooth the skin would break out in revolt! Hell, my face hasn't seen the light of day in about six months. Also, from past experience, one does not want to go from thick beard to shaved skin this time of year in this part of the country. I don't know if you realize how much protection from the cold and wind a face of hair provides? Even shaving off a short beard in the winter means for a few days, one's face will freeze.

On top of that, my face has been heavily protected from the elements for over six months and the last it felt the movement of the outdoor breeze, the air was warm and humid, now it's cold and dry. No, to shave it all off would have my face freezing, dried out, and possibly even cracked before it adjusts to the winter climate. I'll leave a short growth for a few days, condition the skin with moisturizers, then cut it back to a nice stubble for a couple of days before taking a razor to the skin again.

And, even then, I'm not shaving more than once a week. My skin tends to get very irritated from shaving, it always has, so I tend to be one of these guys who styles a five-o'clock shadow. Yes, a week before the beard is completely gone. Well, not completely, I have favored a mustache and goatee for many years and it is my wife's preference as well. Not long, but not stubbly and irritating to her kisses, either.