Porthole

My old friends knew me best.

PROMPT March 26th

If you asked your friends to describe you
using only three words, what would they say?
And why do you think so?

When I was a Jayhawk at the University of Kansas (crimson and blue) I was:

Friendly in a talkative way. I met people from around the world for the first time, specifically Hong Kong, Ethiopia, Iran, Germany, Costa Rica, Mexico. It's why I wanted to study abroad.

Innocent in a sweet way. I knew so little about the 'social' world and didn't even know how to learn about it! I transferred so that I could heal from my experiences elsewhere. My roommates were a godsend.

Wide-eyed in a wondrous way. I enjoyed being in a collegiate setting. I thrived in my class work. The campus was beautiful and I've always responded to beauty. And the people were kind. I've always responded well to kindness.

I was 20 when I arrived.

Since then... innocence and sweetness was mostly lost in Costa Rica and later working in an office taught me that kindness and beauty are seldom rewarded. I was still friendly but perhaps too trusting.

Now? People don't know me. We don't interact deeply nor for long periods of time. I don't trust but I still smile. I'm wide-eyed when I travel and respond to kindness and beauty. I've become worldly.

What words now? Maybe moody, withdrawn, old. I'm worn out. My friendliness is considered annoying and I no longer have close friends where I live.

Why? I've changed and become old. And Americans specifically have become meaner, suspicious and paranoid.