Porthole

31st week and anticipation...

 

It's time to get real about my upcoming trip. I've been "working on" my to-do list but this week is dedicated to actually checking items off and making decisions.

 

23 ตุลาคม 2565

Sunday = red.

I saw snow when I looked out around midnight. The mountains are cloud-shrouded and the valley is damp and still.

1°C at 9-ish.

BP: 135/87 pulse 63 ... right direction (9-ish). Will it stabilize at this level? Not... 175/88 (at 7).

Took two bags of garbage/trash to the dumpster. Gleaned some lavender/marigold/fennel and portulaca. Supposed to frost tonight.

When I travel I caption pictures and sketch senses (especially smell and touch) and details not captured by photos... like Matthew's gift-of-the-gab in Lisbon last May. It means less fictionalization when writing about it later.

Re upcoming lunar eclipse on November 8th: "I will be in Thailand. The 8th is the sky-lantern festival in Chiang Mai (not planning on going) and Loi Khratong (floating candles) nationwide on the 9th. Hopefully the skies are clear. That's possible in November. Someone will get incredible photos. The last lunar eclipse I watched I was in Vienna. The clouds parted enough for me to see a red Moon and a red Mars. The max in Bangkok will be at 17:59 ICT. Total until 18:41."

Cooked/Ate mashed potatoes. Baked/Ate buttercup squash.

Making headway on finding places to stay in Thailand.

Spoke with Birgit. Will meet this week.

“The canary is singing,” [Lydia] Strohl concluded. “Listen, before its voice is stilled.”

22 ตุลาคม 2565

Saturday = purple.

2 degrees C and damp. Very dark morning that even coffee might not banish.

Not feeling overly well.

BP 147/81 pulse 64. That's closer to normal so no clue what's going on although my anxiety is high and the gloom is depressing. Also... one week of last minute stress looms.

Sad weepy market today. Got a sticky bun and went to Butterfly Herbs for a Fire&Ice. Still... no energy. All I can do to not and stay vertical.

Not a good day overall.

21 ตุลาคม 2565

Friday = blue.

53°F 12°C and gloomy at 9 in the morning. It may not get this 'warm' all week. Rain rolls in today to glisten the tired leaves and encourage them to seek the ground from which they sprung in spring. By Sunday morn they'll turn white as snow and frost and ice will grip the land. It may not get warm again before November. And then...

I'll be in Thailand. I'm tired too.

I found my lisinopril. Took one. I have 51 pills left. That should get me through my trip.

A bit concerned as bp didn't come down today.

Saw Jamie at God's Waiting Room. Sat with Bill, Tom (off to Pakistan), Tamara. Received gift of green tea. Jay invited me over for tea; nice chat.

I have no energy at moment.

Finished ep. 11 of "Eclipse". Interesting twist I didn't see coming.

Lowered window as cold damp weather settles in. Geraniums in bloom. 43 degrees at 7 pm. It may snow by morning.

Took nap. Still no energy.

20 ตุลาคม 2565

Thursday = orange.

Sunny 38 degrees at 9 in the morning, last nice day.

QotD asks me what annoys me: "Anything insincere. Don't ask me how I am if you don't care. Don't ask me about my travels if you don't want an answer. Sincerity matters."

I rushed to lunch, rushed back and up those stairs. BP: 202/102 At least, Angie showed up (she had shopping to do for Billie Jo).

Shadows and Light

3rd Place for

Only one exit  (18+) Written after reading Leanne O'Sullivan's poems about suicide, anorexia, hospitalization. #2123114 by Kåre Enga in Montana

.

"our low social tolerance, high economic anxiety era" GenX?

BP: 170/91. Still xtremely high.

19 ตุลาคม 2565

Wednesday evening = grey.

Deathly quiet at times around here.

Took me a couple hours to get through one large box. Found writings, article by my friend Joyce who died in 2020. Threw out most of it.

Just one box...

Told Stik: "I'm triggered by loud noises (especially behind me), seeing a note/mail slid under my door (have a postal box for a reason), certain types of nosiness. But I tend not to be triggered when I travel (hardly any nightmares).

Words? "Merry/Happy anything-I-don't-celebrate" comes to mind.

I did smile about your car. My first car was a Pontaic. I remember doing 80 down a dirt country road in Kansas. "

19 ตุลาคม 2565

Wednesday morning = green.

34 and chill at 07:50. Don't see any frost.

Woke up sneezing.

My morning ramble that doesn't quite make sense: "Many older people here are wealthy or land-wealthy, cash-poor. The lack of concern about others less fortunate is astounding. My only income is SS so I'm at risk but okay for now. Deep poverty is also widespread. Many older homeless folks; many younger ones either wealthy or desperate. The lack of communication between generations and the chasm between wealth and poverty is beyond disturbing."

Bought batteries and persimmon. Bread, orange juice, milk.

Turkey bacon pesto sandwich at God's Waiting Room was very good. Sat with Bill, Willie, Dalton, Bob.

To Cubby re poem: "I do like this. My mother lived to be 99 (1922-2022) but she was 'absent' for about three years when I was a teenager. By absent I mean... she was there and not there.

And my grandmother was far-away in Florida, and my mother pushed family, friends and neighbors away. So...

I don't have many wonderful memories from that time in my life. Maybe if I rummaged through my mind I could find some."

Batteries good = Omron working. However... BP 174/90 is very bad Pulse 57?

18 ตุลาคม 2565

Tuesday = pink.

Got up late this cold morning. 38 degrees after 9:30.

On the newsfeed: I have worked on the positive in my former life. There was hope... and still is. My outlook is more bittersweet (like the French and Portuguese).

Perhaps grimdark is so popular because people have given up Steven, and they are trying to work on their anger and fears and writing is used as a catharthis.

I think the two genres can be melded. Someone who works for the best in the grimmest reality. Kinda like Pollyanna... but not saccharine. I think hopepunk is closer to reality. We see it all the time when there are natural disasters. Grimdark makes more sense when man's inhumanity is the focus.

Nordicnoir (related?) became popular because, in spite of the seemingly idyllic life in places like Scandinavia, there was always the underclass, the underbelly, the real struggles of poverty and illness, the horror stories of the common-class (Why does Dickens come to mind?).

Anyway... imho, it's all been done before. The trick is making it fresh from a modern point-of-view.

Lunch was okay. I like ravioli but not this type. Got on computer to catch up with transcribing. Checked on cost of haircut: $30. Bangkok would be much cheaper. Cut it myself? Travis won't be back before late December.

Phone is charging... now that I found the charger.

Power-wash and generator outside my window till midnight was annoying to say the least.

17 ตุลาคม 2565

Monday = yellow in Thailand.

October is pronounced: dtoo' laa khohm. (dt means an unaspirated t like in Spanish, kh is aspirated, aa means a long vowel, oo is short, as is oh, dtoo is low tone, laa khohm is middle tone)

It was 36F here in Missoula this morning. 74F at 23:00 in Mahasarakham. It will be 70s/30s for the next 4 days here and 80s/60s there. Here it will get cold next week and wet. There: some rain and a tad warmer.

I'm packing a mix of light-weight long and short sleeve shirts. Long sleeves protect from the sun.

I've finished my first coffee, watered some plants in the hall, will now attend to putting away clothes that have hopefully dried.

Lunch at home: grilled green pepper and hotdog on a bun.

Later: rice with spice and orange marigold petals.

19:19 and I'm hungry again.

Theocracy? https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/opinion/doug-mastriano-is-the-most-frightening-fa...
Nick's lawsuit: https://helenair.com/news/local/crime-and-courts/lawsuit-blames-helena-lawmaker-...
Anti-inclusivity: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/a-high-school-artist-was-chosen-to-paint-a-mur...
Sambo: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/opinion/racism-never-left-us-schools-%e2%80%94-no...
Drag? https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/republicans-aim-to-pass-national-dont-say-gay-...
Thailand fireflies https://nakaravillasandglamping.com/our-very-own-syncronus-fireflies/
Jan 6th https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/opinion/americans-indifference-about-january-6-is...
Extremism: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/opinion/perspective-the-shadow-side-of-the-fight-...
"Our nation stands at a crossroads. Will we choose to be loyal to our respective political parties or to ourselves? I do hope that we choose the latter; that we realize that the only ones looking out for our best interests are our family, friends and, of course, ourselves."
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/opinion/party-loyalty-will-be-our-end/ar-AA13dHkq...

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